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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

535 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 13/04/2021 10:33

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating Hmm considering all the shit they eat.

OP posts:
PussGirl · 14/04/2021 13:51

Agree - it's greedy & selfish to behave like this

SmashedAvocado · 14/04/2021 14:00

Commiserations OP.

I have 19 year old twin boys and a 10 year old boy. I have to hide the youngest’s lunch box items or I’d be buying crisps and mini rolls daily! They often find my hiding places though. They wouldn’t actually cook but they’d eat a bagel like it was a biscuit and clean me out of anything that can be put straight in their gobs. I hate having a go at them but they could at least mention that they’ve finished the ice cream when I’d only bought it the day before and was looking forward to it, or eaten half the wraps so there’s not enough for the burritos that I bought them for, etc Angry.

My 24 year old DD is the opposite. She insists on buying her own super healthy and expensive food (fair enough) but I don’t have space to put my stuff in the fridge Angry and she’ll cook for herself before I start on dinner for the rest of us and there will be dirty pans that I need to use and mess all over the kitchenAngry. Her brothers will also help themselves to her stuff which starts WW3.

Honestly their childhood years were a breeze compared to now!

theleafandnotthetree · 14/04/2021 14:07

@Gwenhwyfar

"Treats are not necessary."

No, but they help make life easier. We don't have any other pleasures in lockdown, do we? I think it's fine to cut out the treats as long as OP also cuts out her wine...

Sorry am afraid what parents/adults spend their money on in their home is not really any of their children's business, there is no equivelance. She is under zero obligation to curtail her wine intake in that respect, unless she wants to do so for other reasons, including setting a good example etc.
Lollypop701 · 14/04/2021 14:10

Seriously I’ve never got the read the full thread rage before 😂 op’s 2 eldest have competitive eating of snack/treat foods ... so anything with sugar and eat it as first choice. Even if they eat all of it.

Op has told them to share it but they are ignoring her

This means younger s gets nothing.

There is sufficient food in the house which older 2 cook and waste.

Op has pointed this out, and been ignored

Op... snack boxes. Hide yours and younger child’s because they will disappear. Eat said snacks in front of them making a huge deal of it. Tell older dcs you hope they enjoyed their treat food as much as you are. Freeze any leftover straight away... so it can be eaten when they do want it. If not consumed within a week get it out of freezer and show them the potential waste, and they have to eat that food before anything else. Good luck, this is a manners issue, not food

bluelemming · 14/04/2021 14:46

Like previous posters I am shocked at how much junk people are feeding their kids. I've brought up teenagers. They need a lot of food. Three massive meals a day, with a big portion of protein at each meal should suffice. No one needs to eat cereal. It's just something we've been brainwashed to believe.

user7891011 · 14/04/2021 15:06

No way does youngest dc have krave mixed into Weetabix!?😂 Love it

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2021 15:08

"Sorry am afraid what parents/adults spend their money on in their home is not really any of their children's business, there is no equivelance. She is under zero obligation to curtail her wine intake in that respect, unless she wants to do so for other reasons, including setting a good example etc."

Of course there's no obligation, but to ban all treats for her kids would be hypocrisy wouldn't it?
A total ban on treats can also lead to an obsession with them.

Plumtree391 · 14/04/2021 15:16

Jensons, I wouldn't think 'a mug' is nice food.

Deedeedocket · 14/04/2021 16:59

Of course there's no obligation, but to ban all treats for her kids would be hypocrisy wouldn't it?
A total ban on treats can also lead to an obsession with them.m

This! My sister has never allowed treats my 18 year old niece binges constantly and is obsessed with trests

worriedatthemoment · 14/04/2021 17:26

Mine go through crave in about 4 bowls in a day or 2 i just buy it every now and again and when its gone its gone
I do that with all the treat food if they eat in 2 days then they have 6/7 days
before I shop again
I will keep fruit and bread , cheese , weetabix etc topped up
But if you think they may eat all and little ones then maybe box his separate and say they can't touch
If they make loads food don't cook for them the next night and serve them
The leftovers from the night before

pomers · 14/04/2021 17:31

Just don’t buy it. I refused to buy fresh orange; oatley; any cereal but porridge. And yes, lock the larder if they can’t abide by your rules

KimMarie34 · 14/04/2021 17:35

I’ve not read this whole thread but i agree to portioning out food and give them their own box. When it’s gone then it’s up to them if they want to replace it. My parents had to hide me snacks around the house when I was young, because my brother and dad would go through it so quickly and not think about anyone else.

EmbarrassedMum1 · 14/04/2021 17:38

This would drive me MAD!, DH can be a bit like this sometimes but he will buy a replacement for what ever he has demolished (usually cheese destined for a meal I've planned).

Maybe try giving the older 2 a budget and cash for their own food for breakfasts and lunches. It might be a valuable lesson that these things really add up.

Plumtree391 · 14/04/2021 17:38

Teenagers do hoover up food in no time. Anything you don't want them to eat, just hide away somewhere. Bread, cheese, fruit, milk and cereal can be left 'on show'.

Alwayscheerful · 14/04/2021 17:40

Stop buying boxed cereal. It's not necessary if they are using it to graze buy an alternative.
Stick to porridge, healthy, filling and inexpensive.

purplebagladylovesgin · 14/04/2021 17:42

@Lollypop701

Seriously I’ve never got the read the full thread rage before 😂 op’s 2 eldest have competitive eating of snack/treat foods ... so anything with sugar and eat it as first choice. Even if they eat all of it.

Op has told them to share it but they are ignoring her

This means younger s gets nothing.

There is sufficient food in the house which older 2 cook and waste.

Op has pointed this out, and been ignored

Op... snack boxes. Hide yours and younger child’s because they will disappear. Eat said snacks in front of them making a huge deal of it. Tell older dcs you hope they enjoyed their treat food as much as you are. Freeze any leftover straight away... so it can be eaten when they do want it. If not consumed within a week get it out of freezer and show them the potential waste, and they have to eat that food before anything else. Good luck, this is a manners issue, not food

I completely agree with this strategy.
Alleycat1 · 14/04/2021 17:45

I would never have dreamed of eating anything without asking my mother first. I had to move back in with my parents between moves once; I was in my 40s, contributing towards housekeeping and still thought it only good manners to check first. Agree with Lollipop 701 that it is a question of manners.

TheFormidableMrsC · 14/04/2021 17:49

I'll tell you what I did. I bought a plain fabric coloured storage box that does not draw any attention and put out of sight. In it I keep "treat" stuff or foods that I don't want eaten every day or stuff I need to save for packed lunches. It's worked a treat. Once everything in the cupboard has been hoovered then I know I have further supplies as needed.

This obviously doesn't solve the issue of food that needs refrigeration but my God it's made a difference. In terms of cooking massive amounts of macaroni cheese etc. Get a pack of freezer containers from Home Bargains and have them do portions. Then they can freeze until next time and reheat quickly.

Over lockdown I made snack boxes. So that was it for the day. If everything was eaten in 10 mins then tough 🤷🏻‍♀️. It's hard going, I do sympathise.

CaptainNelson · 14/04/2021 17:49

I'm sorry OP, but you're getting off lightly. My DSs 19 and 17 ate 26 eggs in 48 hours last week. Not to mention the loaves of bread, bacon, pasta, etc.
It's just part of the course. Don't buy expensive/junk stuff if you don't want them to eat it. Don't patronise them with snack boxes, it's just going to make it worse. They are hungry, literally all the time. Peanut butter is an excellent filler-upper - encourage them to eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Buy lots of bananas - quick to eat and allow them to think before they frantically find something to fill up on. Protein and fat fill them up much more than carbs, especially refined carbs, so aim for cheap sources of those (eggs, mostly, in our house, as you might guess)

Mary54 · 14/04/2021 17:51

Don’t blame you for being cross, I hate food being wasted and it’s extremely annoying when the ingredients for a meal have suddenly disappeared. Having said that, I think it’s quite normal for teenagers to eat huge quantities. It’s just how they are at that age. My DH says he used to drive his mum crazy by emptying the fridge after school and our DC also had extremely healthy appetites. They do need to be told not to just take without asking but that is a principle that applies generally, not just to food. And of course, to share.
If they’re serving themselves large portions that they don’t finish, I would plate the food in the kitchen rather than letting them do it. If there’s any left, then can go back for more after they’ve cleared their plates.

Alis25 · 14/04/2021 17:52

I’ve 17, 21 & 23 yr olds all living at home thanks to Covid and two of them eat huge quantities - when the older two were younger they were known to scrap over who’s finished off the cereal, milk etc but never have they behaved as you’ve described. I’d have been furious! Anyway I asked them what they thought. They reckoned your teens are getting away with it because you’re being way too soft and they know you are just talk. They need penalties. You need to stop buying nice treats, buy most boring food you can and definitely impose a financial penalty. Fact they’ll be left without money or food they like is their problem not yours.
Think that’s pretty sound advice tbh so I won’t add to it except to say that at any age kids will take advantage of you if you let them. Your job is to stand firm against their tendency to tyranny.
Good luck! YANBU

Porcupineintherough · 14/04/2021 17:54

YANBU about the food waste but things like cereal, just buy more.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 14/04/2021 17:56

I'm sorry OP, but you're getting off lightly. My DSs 19 and 17 ate 26 eggs in 48 hours last week. Not to mention the loaves of bread, bacon, pasta, etc.

I totally agree. We had 3 teen boys at one point. They never stopped eating. Bread would be gone in a morning, as would cereal. Cost a bloody fortune!

Mikki77 · 14/04/2021 18:04

Get them to make flapjacks and protein balls that they can snack on......

mrsdaltongrant · 14/04/2021 18:05

If they are eating it then I don't think I'd have an issue. I would make it clear it XX Number each and remove yours and 9yo and let them crack on. If they eat it all in 1 day no more snacks for the rest of the week...I wouldn't make them lay unless you've already discussed "housekeeping" payment. My DH go nuts for biscuits and sweets so some weeks I just don't get any and belive it or not he is ok!! Grin