Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

WombatChocolate
Which is it with these teens, after they have been told several times and unlimited supplies of food that they can eat when they want to provided? Is it wilful ignoring of the information about certain treats needing to be shared or certain foods needing to last the week, or is is that they have no self-control? Either strikes me as pretty worrying.

I think it is down to sheer laziness, wanting things already done for them so they can 'grab and go'. Pre-packaged food is very often high in sugar with cheap ingredients, triggering insulin response. That's why they're hungry again within a short time and also how they can eat so much of it.

Many people don't have unlimited budgets available to buy sugary junk in any vast quantity; I don't - and I wouldn't buy it en-masse anyway as it's rubbish. It might be tasty, I have a Wotsits problem myself, but it's not nutrient-dense.

It's not so much 'hollow legs' as people like to say, just laziness/greediness and lack of impulse control or consideration for anybody else. The answer isn't to buy more of it either.

@Skatastic - THE GLASSES! How hard is it???? (And the laundry?)

@melissasummerfield

Teenagers are constantly hungry and usually quite selfish unfortunately.

One box of cereal between the three children was never going to work, just buy own brand and more of it.

Unfortunately for you the point where you establish boundaries has long passed, about 10 years ago! Learn the lesson and put some boundaries in place with the 9yo.

Also snack boxes for 17 / 18 year olds is ridiculous, they are young adults fgs.

Totally agree.

@HarrietHardy

Somehow, the food industry has persuaded the developed world that feeling the slightest pang of hunger like a negative disease that needs 'treating' with snacks.

Yes that's it!

@theleafandnotthetree

I'm female and dont have any brothers so I can't offer any specific insight into this, but is this level of calorie intake/devouring of food/greed, even outside of treats (so bread, cereal, etc) something previous generations also had to the same extent? Were teenage boys always like this? I cannot imagine that average families up until the last 20 years would have had - or in many cases could have afforded - to buy food in such vast quantities. I feel almost ill reading some of the posts.

I think it's a girl and a boy in this case, but I also think that teenage boys in particular have always been very hungry. Definitely not a new thing. I think in the past if there wasn't enough food, they would have worked for extra money or in return for food. Eating a lot isn't in itself 'greed'. If the person is still skinny they obviously need the food. (Obviously taking others' food is a different matter).

When I was at uni, the dinner ladies at my hall would give the tall 18-10 year olds extra food because it was obvious they needed it. I find that totally fine, but there were complaints about it when I mentioned it on MN before.

Growing up we didn't have to ask once we were a certain age and we had unlimited access to food. I think we didn't eat healthily enough, but I think it's a healthier attitude than making teenagers ask for everything as some people do here (unless the household is genuinely poor).

I totally sympathise OP. It may have been slightly unrealistic to expect DD to spread her 100g of cereal out into more than one sitting, but not unreasonable to have given her that portion.

My problem is DH is just as bad as DS16 and DD14. They all find it hysterically funny that I can limit myself to a daily single square of Cadbury’s Caramello (sp?) and thereby make it last over a week. They aren’t so bad with things like eggs, cereal, meat and pasta, and crisps are only ever eaten in a whole bag at once by all 4 of us together, but chocolate, cakes and biscuits are always considered fair game because they can sneak them while no one is looking and then deny they took them. My DH is legend around our house for having eaten 30 MINCE PIES (made by me) in one 24 hour period. He didn’t even try to deny that one.

I had taken to hiding stuff I wanted to keep for myself and enjoy over a longer period, but our dog has such a hypersensitive nose and hypergreedy tummy she was sniffing it out and destroying the furniture to get to it (and yes, I am aware how harmful chocolate is for dogs and I don’t risk it anymore).

Although there is always plenty of bread, peanut butter and marmalade (their snacks of choice) I rarely buy “treats” anymore - I just don’t get any pleasure out of putting it in the trolley when I know the chance I might actually get any of it during the week is so slim. That may sound selfish - I’m happy to share of course and love seeing my family enjoy a treat we were sharing together, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable that, if I’m shopping and paying for all these groceries, I get something pleasurable out of it too and the rest of the family don’t get EVERYTHING. I will admit it is easier to do this when all the members of the family can take responsibility for their own consumption, which is not the case necessarily with a 9yo in the house!

We generally try and eat healthily during the week but relax at the weekend. Food shopping arrives on Thursday. The rule is that new food cannot be opened till the weekend. If anything is opened that I want to saved till the next weekend, it gets hidden.

Anything already open but not eaten on Monday can be eaten by the teens although there isn't usually that much left.

We have certain smaller treats that they can help themselves too (which causes so many arguments as they both accuse the other of eating more than their fair share). My daughter (younger) often takes her portion and hides it from her older (skinny as a rake brother).

If they take more than their fair share of (say) a box of 4 magnums (there are 4 of us), I do get really cross with them and they will apologise but generally this doesn't happen as they know how upset it makes me as I just think it's very inconsiderate as it will be me that goes without.

Generally, we are quite regimented with treats so they know what they can and can't eat. Kind of annoying but necessary.

There is unlimited amounts of certain foods available if they are genuinely hungry.

Probably get shot down but I wonder whether this kind of behaviour is partly responsible for the obesity crisis. When we were kids we didn't have access to unlimited food all the time, just 3 meals a day and the odd biscuit or apple/piece of toast. We were slim by today's standards, but definitely not undernourished. Are people able to regulate their intake as they get older if they've been used to eating huge amounts of food or do they just carry on eating the amounts they've got used to?

It's called Krave for a reason

Is it not time to learning about budgeting? Also about respect for family. I can't imagine ever eating my little brother's treats that's really selfish. I honestly would deduct money from pocket money until they stop.

At least there not bringing their mates into the house whilst your back is turned and feeding them as well! Eldest DD used to bring her Boyfriend round and feed him whilst we were out at work. We used to call him ‘Six Slices’ because of the amount of times he cleared our fridge of all the Deli stuff bought to make DH packed Lunches, and left him no fresh bread or fillings for the next day, selfish Sod him!

He had a decent home of his own, but was too lazy to walk up the Country Lane to go back at night, so started sleeping on the sofa, then our Drinks cabinet kept getting raided, to which my Brother got hold of him by the collar one night and physically through him out of the door for being Drunk and vomiting all over our stairs!
Needless to say that the thieving little scumbag never returned again,.

I buy treats in the food delivery, which they then eat asap in return for unpacking the order. After that's gone they spend their own money. Certain things are out of bounds.

My husband used to hide his chocolates and stuff furthest back in the vegetable drawer..until the 18-year old and his girlfriend accidentally found it and were shocked he would do such a thing (and then they ate it).

@reprehensibleme

Probably get shot down but I wonder whether this kind of behaviour is partly responsible for the obesity crisis. When we were kids we didn't have access to unlimited food all the time, just 3 meals a day and the odd biscuit or apple/piece of toast. We were slim by today's standards, but definitely not undernourished. Are people able to regulate their intake as they get older if they've been used to eating huge amounts of food or do they just carry on eating the amounts they've got used to?

They're skinny so they're presumably eating food they need rather than overeating. I think you need to be able to learn to regulate your eating as well so having their food restricted is probably not a good idea. They would then go from nothing to all when they move out.

@JensonsAcolyte if they make large batches of cheese straws, macaroni, rice etc, why can’t the whole family eat it?

As a PP mentioned I too divide the "treats" up. For example fresh orange juice. I buy 3 and wrote in permanent marker our names.

I freakin' hated it when I fancied a wee glass of OJ and it was gone next day. Any crisps or snacks I label their names. If DS wants to gorge it all in one day that's his lookout at least DD has hers for rest of week.

I don't buy breakfast cereals, they are full of sugar and no nutritional value, and last all of one day!! So DS makes himself a full english every morning. So I have to buy copious amounts of sausages, bacon and eggs. DD has porridge with bananas and honey.

It's a freakin' nightmare the amount of food they eat. If they want to snack it's beans on toast.

DS has £5 for lunch at college and DD makes her own pack lunch, of which the goodies she keeps in her bedroom. To be honest I've been known to "steal" her chocolate biscuits when they were in the kitchen, so it's safer if she keeps them in her bedroom.

We sit down and do a dinner menu for the week and decide who is cooking. It's all very adult and organised but fuck me it's difficult!!

And god forbid they eat any leftovers from the dinner the night before as lunch! Doesn't happen in my house! Drives. Me. Mad!!

It's sounds awful written down, but there is nothing worse that going to the fridge or freezer for a wee treat and there is fuck all there!

Hmmmm now that the sun is out I fancy a choc ice ... what's the chances of there being any left!!!?? I forgot to label!

I absolutely get what you mean. You do a weekly shop and think it will last, but it never does. They don’t get the waste, yet, but they will once they start paying for it themselves.. I remember buying fish fingera once (which we haven’t had since the kids were little) and I asked my 18-year old how many he would like. His reply; How many are there in the package?

(And he’s very skinny and goes to the gym every day but still..)

@reprehensibleme

Probably get shot down but I wonder whether this kind of behaviour is partly responsible for the obesity crisis. When we were kids we didn't have access to unlimited food all the time, just 3 meals a day and the odd biscuit or apple/piece of toast. We were slim by today's standards, but definitely not undernourished. Are people able to regulate their intake as they get older if they've been used to eating huge amounts of food or do they just carry on eating the amounts they've got used to?

I absolutely think there is a danger of this. We have a really good tv programme here in Ireland called Operation Transformation which every year takes a group of people and works with them in a very holistic way to tackle their weight as well as other issues. It is so so common to hear the same stories from men who maybe played sport when younger and ate all around which they only got away with because they were young and pretty active. Then boom, they get an injury or stop being so active and they put on a stack of weight because they have 'set' their body at a certain level of intake and through habit, addiction to carbs etc really struggle then. A bad diet - and a lot of what is being described here is that - is never a good idea even if you're skinny. It is storing up a lot of problems for later on. And plain greed is never a good look.

I may have missed something, but what about fruit and veg? All I am seeing is sugary rubbish, which nobody needs and only lines the pockets of Nestle et al.
Also how much liquid are they drinking, and I do not mean fizzy stuff? Often people eat, when they really need a drink.
Buy a big fruit bowl fill it with fruit that needs to be chewed, not instant sugary stuff and see what happens?

Also snack boxes for 17 / 18 year olds is ridiculous, they are young adults fgs. when they start behaving like adults then they can be treated like adults.

TBH I have come to the conclusion that on the whole, teenagers are just generally lazy and inconsiderate. It’s perfectly ok to ban them from having certain things. There’s nothing wrong with them having to learn that not everything is theirs for the taking.

I had a blazing row with mine this morning over something completely different, and he had the audacity to tell me he’s always having to do stuff for me just because I asked him to break down a cardboard box to put in the recycling. Never mind that the box was actually his.

He tells me what an adult he now is, to which I have told him that if he’s an adult then he needs to stop behaving like a child.

People need to co-exist in the same house, and as such they all need to have consideration for one another.

In terms of food, I buy snacks, sometimes he eats them all in one sitting but that’s tough shit really. If they’re gone then they’re gone.

There is pasta in the cupboard. If he wants mac n cheese he is welcome to cook (and Clear up after) it for himself.

If that’s not enough he is free to get a job and buy his own.

Last night I asked him to clear up his bedroom, bring down his rubbish and glasses, to which his response was that he does bring down things like washing but that it never gets done. having pointed out to him that I am not his servant and he is perfectly aware of how the washing machine works, I think it’s safe to say he has driven me to the edge over the past couple of days.

And yet for the most part he is lovely. But you couldn’t pay me to go through the teenage stage again. All I can say is thank Christ I only have one.

That sounds like a really informative programme, theleafandnotthetree, I wish we had similar here instead of the never-ending faddy diets programmes that don't teach anything useful.

"A bad diet - and a lot of what is being described here is that - is never a good idea even if you're skinny. It is storing up a lot of problems for later on. And plain greed is never a good look."

But if a skinny person eats less, they will be underweight won't they. If someone is eating huge amounts and still skinny, then they need that food.
Assuming OP's skinny means skinny and isn't being used for medium/average.

Gwenhwyfar as PP mentioned upthread, skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy - visceral fat on any organs is dangerous.

Nobody needs sugary junk, not even skinny people. We just have a taste for it so eat it and crave it, rinse and repeat.

@theleafandnotthetree You’re right, but it doesn’t always have to be the case.. My teenagers changed from one day to another. Started to appreciate the homecooked healthier food, and even turned that down to have a salad instead. Who would have known. 🙂 They’ve always basically just drunk water though, so no change there.