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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

535 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 13/04/2021 10:33

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating Hmm considering all the shit they eat.

OP posts:
HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 13/04/2021 15:25

[quote theheartofthematter]@HeyDemonsItsYaGirl she has said that she is giving them a treat box so they know what they can eat that's not really a punishment. 'Here have 7 chocolate biscuits you naughty selfish so and so'. And yes she may be feeling a bit petty but she has been pushed to the end of her tether by selfish family members [/quote]
OP: "I know it’s nothing but it’s a punishment for the week for eating all the Krave."

quizqueen · 13/04/2021 15:26

Use all left over veg etc for bubble and squeak and freeze leftover baking stuff in small batches and tell them to use all that up before you will buy more food. Stop buying treats until they are more responsible. They can go and buy them with their own money. Hide anything nice for yourself in your car!!!

Bibidy · 13/04/2021 15:27

@diddl

"I don't think teens are all like that!"

Me neither!

I suppose times have changed & as a teen I was out & about-not hanging around the house & constantly looking in the fridge!

Treats & "special" cereal were to be shared & no one would have dreamt of pigging the lot.

And we didn't need to be told that-it's just obvious that you consider others.

I guess that's the problem now though isn't it, they haven't been able to go out at the moment.

I totally agree though, tbh when I was a teen I hardly made an impact on the household foodstores because I was always out.

The problem for OP as well is that she has a younger child who deserves to get some of the treats as well. If it was just the teens she probably wouldn't bother buying that cereal anymore or would just let them battle it out. But it's harsh of the teens to act this way when there is a younger child in involved.

Bibidy · 13/04/2021 15:29

OP: "I know it’s nothing but it’s a punishment for the week for eating all the Krave."

What's the issue with OP punishing them for being selfish and eating all of the cereal they know is their little brother's favourite? He only has a few sprinkled in his porride! They couldn't even leave him a couple of handfuls when they saw they were about to empty the box? I'd punish them too!

Madcats · 13/04/2021 15:29

In first lockdown I threatened to buy one of those hotel room safes (I think Aldi or Screwfix were advertising them) to control the domestic consumption of biscuits, cereal etc.

By lockdown 2 I hid all the Christmas treats in a cracker tin on top of the kitchen cupboards and in lockdown 3 I have a stash of chocolate in the umbrella and gloves cupboard.

When we went through a phase of demolishing blocks of cheese I started writing the date and "this should last a week" on the wrapper.

lynsey91 · 13/04/2021 15:30

@Sunshineandflipflops

Why should you, as adults and parents have to hide food in your own house because selfish teenagers, who are old enough to know better and to need to life lesson that you can't go around being so greedy, don't eat everything in sight?!

It astounds me. I would have never done this as a teenager and I would never let my own teenagers do this. They do it because they are allowed to.

I could have written this post.

I also would never have acted like this as a teenager and nor would my siblings.

They are 17 and 18! Very childish and sneaky behaviour for that age. They could have full time jobs at those ages and should not be acting like spoilt toddlers

EnglishRain · 13/04/2021 15:35

I had this with my brothers growing up. At the age they are, I'd be tempted to buy loads of delicious food that they both love, maybe say it's for a family picnic or something, at a time when they're both going out so can't eat it beforehand. Then when it comes to the family picnic you get a load of 'boring' food out and when they ask where their favourites are say you ate it all because you felt like it. I'm sure someone will come along and say that won't work because of x or y, but I wonder if they can imagine what it feels like to be on the other side of it?

PussGirl · 13/04/2021 15:36

Agree teenagers / adults ought to know better than to scoff everything greedily with no regard for anyone else.

Also agree with having fewer "treats" - they are not essential foodstuffs - no wonder 2/3 the nation is too fat in adulthood.

Mygardenisnotperfect · 13/04/2021 15:39

Honestly I do think a lot of teens are just constantly hungry because of fast metabolism and growing at that age (especially boys) - especially if they are skinny... I’m sure restrictions haven’t helped as not much else to do but hang around the house eating and it’s stressful for them as well as us. I appreciate the problem though! My teenage son would eat me out of house and home if he could. It’s just him and me. He does gain weight easily and we had a frank talk in the first lockdown about what treats were appropriate and reasonably healthy and what things he could help himself to without my permission and how many of those he ought to aim not to exceed in a day. Not as much for the money aspect but for his health. And the same with unhealthier treats. It took a while but he’s actually really good with it now as he’s seen himself that he is slimmer and fitter than before if he just keeps half an eye on what he’s eating without needing to feel like he’s starving. In your case OP I would definitely lock up any treats or particularly expensive foods for you to dole out as you’re happy to, and point them to cheaper things you’re happy for them to pick away at between meals if hungry. And remind them about the effects of junk food on health even if they are skinny. And give them smaller portions but tell them they can have seconds later if still hungry so food isn’t being left.

Mygardenisnotperfect · 13/04/2021 15:40

I buy cheese, yoghurt, peanut butter, apples and grapes for my teenager to pick at if hungry and also have started cooking cheap chicken breasts and keeping it in the fridge or freezer for him to eat if super hungry.

Mygardenisnotperfect · 13/04/2021 15:41

I know alll those hints aren’t necessarily super healthy but have some nutritional value and are filling!

Fluffycloudland77 · 13/04/2021 15:42

If I eat a lot of processed food I’m constantly hungry, when I go back to eating proper food eg home made soup or curry I’m full for hours. I still eat three times a day but I’m not constantly snacking.

KOKOagainandagain · 13/04/2021 15:42

I have a 15 year old and a 20 year old at home. Protein with every meal. Cooked meals are very high protein - dinner might be 2 or 3 chicken breasts (with favour of choice) with carbs (potatoes based, pasta, garlic bread etc) plus half a plate of veg. Followed by strawberry, kiwi, banana with luxury ice cream for dessert. If they are not stuffed there are luxury chocolates. No space for crap.

We have lots of crap available but it loses its shine when always available and is no longer a treat when stuffed full of protein and better treats are also available. We actually have crisps and chocolate out of date!

Restriction leads to craving - sugar leads to craving. Young people need to learn to respond to hunger in the absence of craving.

But unrestricted access to sugar (carbs - like cereal or bread) won't achieve this. This is basic biology/physiology. You need unrestricted access to protein to break from the high/low cycle and maintain health as you age.

Financially, it costs more to buy protein but I save because I no longer buy crap. Then there is the longer term personal and social cost.

Bluedeblue · 13/04/2021 15:43

I can't believe they have to ask for food. Just buy more. They are growing.

diddl · 13/04/2021 15:44

"I totally agree though, tbh when I was a teen I hardly made an impact on the household foodstores because I was always out."

I think that 's a thing that has changed a lot, isn't it, regardless of the lockdown?

I mean for me as a teen there was bugger all to do in the house I suppose!

But I was lucky to be able to get out for walks/bike rides.

Even if we met at each others houses maybe to look at mags/listen to records/cassette tapes(!!!), chances are we wouldn't be scoffing snacks at the same time!

HarrietHardy · 13/04/2021 15:46

Somehow, the food industry has persuaded the developed world that feeling the slightest pang of hunger like a negative disease that needs 'treating' with snacks.

theleafandnotthetree · 13/04/2021 15:54

@HarrietHardy

Somehow, the food industry has persuaded the developed world that feeling the slightest pang of hunger like a negative disease that needs 'treating' with snacks.
This! And the same applies to virtually everything. It seems that perfectly normal human feelings or sensations such as hunger, thirst, tiredness, boredom, feeling cold must be immeduately responded to especially when it's children (as these young adults are being described by some). The whole notion of self control, of waiting for things, of just sitting with the sensation and realising you're not going to keel over....this seems to be gone out the window.
Bagelsandbrie · 13/04/2021 15:56

My dh and dd (18) are like this. Both skinny, both do a lot of exercise but eat like food is going to be rationed tomorrow. It’s insane. They will literally eat through a whole box of cereal in a day, or 4 huge bags of popcorn etc etc. I have given up worrying about it now and just buy trolley fulls of snacks from Aldi where it’s cheap and just let them get on with it. I must spend about £100 a week just on utter crap being honest which is embarrassing but there we go. If we suddenly became broke tomorrow (as we have been before- income support, the works when dh was made redundant years ago) they’d soon have a shock!

Ds aged 9 and me just don’t seem to eat the same amount. I never restrict food though.

safariboot · 13/04/2021 15:57

Only buy a limited amount of treats and taking someone else's is not allowed.

Buy plenty of wholegrain pasta and bread and healthy stuff to go with it.

Insist leftovers be frozen promptly. Unless it's left because the recipe turned out disgusting.

Also you say they eat whatever then don't want dinner. When are you serving it? Hungry teens won't go from a 12 pm lunch to a 9 pm dinner for example.

Gottalovesummer · 13/04/2021 15:59

I have 2 teens and they just eat a lot.

I food shop a lot.

Sorry not to be more helpful.

Bibidy · 13/04/2021 16:01

@diddl

"I totally agree though, tbh when I was a teen I hardly made an impact on the household foodstores because I was always out."

I think that 's a thing that has changed a lot, isn't it, regardless of the lockdown?

I mean for me as a teen there was bugger all to do in the house I suppose!

But I was lucky to be able to get out for walks/bike rides.

Even if we met at each others houses maybe to look at mags/listen to records/cassette tapes(!!!), chances are we wouldn't be scoffing snacks at the same time!

Yep exactly.

I never had daily snacks, whereas that seems to be the norm now, multiple snacks a day.

Bobbybobbins · 13/04/2021 16:03

God I remember when my DSis, DB and I were all teens. It was like survival of the fittest sometimes. My mum used to buy a pack of 5 doughnuts, let's say, and we would literally hoover them up. Whoever could eat fastest got to have two. As we were off a similar age it was less of an issue eating younger sibling's food.

No advice OP but sympathy!

DonLewis · 13/04/2021 16:04

Buy a box of sticky labels.

Write on some
Help your self
Do not touch

And label the food as you want. Ball ache Central, but what else can you do?

So buy 3 boxes of eggs. 2 get labelled help yourself and one don't touch. Then you should, in theory have eggs left. And so on.

HarrietHardy · 13/04/2021 16:04

It seems that perfectly normal human feelings or sensations such as hunger, thirst, tiredness, boredom, feeling cold must be immeduately responded to especially when it's children (as these young adults are being described by some). The whole notion of self control, of waiting for things, of just sitting with the sensation and realising you're not going to keel over....this seems to be gone out the window.

There's a lot of money in fucking up children and teenagers these days. A whole lot of money.

From treats to treatments, from social media to substances, from imagery to dysphoria.

It's like the message is, 'if you make your child wait for anything, you're a shit parent'. Bonkers.

ElMacchiato · 13/04/2021 16:04

KOKO surely luxury ice cream and luxury chocolates is still sugar and still crap though..?