Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

" It is so so common to hear the same stories from men who maybe played sport when younger and ate all around which they only got away with because they were young and pretty active. Then boom, they get an injury or stop being so active and they put on a stack of weight because they have 'set' their body at a certain level of intake and through habit, addiction to carbs etc really struggle then. "

Tbh, people often "make excuses" for why they're overweight. For men it might be that they used to do sports, for women it might be that they put weight on when they had a child.
When they stopped exercising, their appetite should have died down. It was then just a choice/habit to eat too much.
I've also heard men say they had muscle and when they stopped exercising it all turned to fat, but been told by people who understand these things, that it's not really how it works.

@MintyMabel

and just to add: eating food is not wasting it! It's supposed to be eaten.

Eating food you don't need is
also wasteful.

Teens need to eat a lot of high quality food. They are building the body, skeleton and brain that's going to last them a lifetime; another 60 or 70 years.

Hilarious to see people talking about "portion control" in the same sentence as listing how much junkfood they feed their kids.

"Gwenhwyfar as PP mentioned upthread, skinny doesn't necessarily mean healthy - visceral fat on any organs is dangerous."

My point is that a skinny person is obviously not eating too much, so not greedy. Whether they're eating the wrong things is a different matter. If they eat less they will become underweight won't they (assuming they're genuinely skinny).

I’d be irritated. Can you have a meeting and agree a list of approved family meals then meal plan on a Sunday together. Each of them cooks one meal. Breakfast cereals - what do they like off the cheaper/healthier list and buy those.
Agree snacks - toast, fruit, cereal etc anything else to be asked for or funded with their money.
Buy some snacks and portion out. Junk is cheap especially in B & M, Homebargains etc. Donuts are 5 huge ones for 50p in Morrisons.
Positives are they want to cook so channel that to meals not extras that get wasted.

@HeartsAndClubs

All I can say is thank Christ I only have one

Yup, When you have multiples you end up with multiple multiples lol.

My 23,19 and 15 year olds are all in long term relationships, My family is getting bigger and so is my food bill!

gwenhwyfar our uni halls did same portion of main but seconds available if any left but there was also a cooked pudding - rice pudding, sponge & custard, steamed pudding etc cheap way of filling hungry teens. Breakfast was a set portion plus unlimited cheap white toast (boys used to ask for spare breakfast food off girls plates) If they like cooking they could do similar puddings to fill up.

I totally get this OP. I have three DC, two of whom are teens and they eat like it is going out of fashion and are both really skinny and also very focussed on health and fitness so play lots of sport, work out etc.
I understand what other posters are saying about obesity and so on but I wasn’t allowed to snack much at their age as money was tight and I just spent all my money from my part-time job on treats and ate them anyway. I remember my siblings and I used to eat huge amounts of toast as it was what was most available/cheap and my parents complaining about how much bread they were going through.
In my house I now lock some “treat” food in an IKEA lockable cupboard and then slowly during the week I leave snacks etc out in the kitchen where they disappear in seconds.
My main bugbear is that they eat avocados, tins of mackerel, eggs etc, cooked chicken - healthy things - in same way and don’t leave any for me. We spend loads on food and thankfully can afford it but it annoys me that they don’t know what it’s like to have to go without like I did. I’ve tried talking to them and they are empathetic beings while also typical teens in that they can be quite selfish without thinking.

I feel bad as it is feels counter intuitive to limit access to healthy food but as PPs have said, I now use a marker to write our names on things like tins of mackerel etc as they are bought otherwise two of them would eat it all and there’s five of us in this house!

@Bagelsandbrie

My dh and dd (18) are like this. Both skinny, both do a lot of exercise but eat like food is going to be rationed tomorrow. It’s insane. They will literally eat through a whole box of cereal in a day, or 4 huge bags of popcorn etc etc. I have given up worrying about it now and just buy trolley fulls of snacks from Aldi where it’s cheap and just let them get on with it. I must spend about £100 a week just on utter crap being honest which is embarrassing but there we go. If we suddenly became broke tomorrow (as we have been before- income support, the works when dh was made redundant years ago) they’d soon have a shock!

Ds aged 9 and me just don’t seem to eat the same amount. I never restrict food though.

I am gobsmacked that you're spending 5,000 quid a year on utter crap./junk snacks.

@theleafandnotthetree

I'm female and dont have any brothers so I can't offer any specific insight into this, but is this level of calorie intake/devouring of food/greed, even outside of treats (so bread, cereal, etc) something previous generations also had to the same extent? Were teenage boys always like this? I cannot imagine that average families up until the last 20 years would have had - or in many cases could have afforded - to buy food in such vast quantities. I feel almost ill reading some of the posts.

I only have sisters but none of us ever ate like that. There was not much money in our house and most days we had 3 meals - breakfast, lunch and tea. We would sometimes have a sweet after our tea.

We didn't really have things like crisps, sweets or biscuits in the house. I don't remember feeling hungry really between meals. My mum's portions though were pretty big.

I do think it must just be greed in a lot of cases. I don't believe all teenage boys are always hungry and eat the amount of food some posters are saying their sons eat.

I know families with sons and I know for sure they cannot afford to buy the quantities of food some posters are buying

I’m really not sure of the wisdom of doing treat boxes, introducing rhe concept then filling it with a miserly 100 g of cereal ans seven penguin biscuits. Why are you trying to punish adults? For eating too much cereal?

I have not read this whole thread so sorry if this has already been suggested, I think as one of them is an adult, they should buy their own food if they cannot be trusted with yours, or at least contribute towards the food bill. The 17 year old is also old enough to work so could also be contributing. This might give them more of a realisation of how much food costs, or at least if they leave loads it's their own problem.
Also, your elder children are adults/nearly adult, it is very selfish of them to steal a young child's cereal. They need to get their act together as no adult should treat a child that way. Perhaps you need to teach them a lesson about not taking what isn't theirs to take. Again, sorry if this has already been suggested HTH.

All teenagers I have ever known are always hungry! Especially boys. And I’ve raised 4 and worked in a kids’ home!
Best advice I can give is- home made food! Flapjacks (just oats, butter, sugar), cupcakes etc. Bread. Rice Krispie cakes! Better still, get them to make it! Did that in the kids’ home tbh.
As long as their weight isn’t going up then they need the food.

"I only have sisters but none of us ever ate like that. There was not much money in our house and most days we had 3 meals - breakfast, lunch and tea. We would sometimes have a sweet after our tea."

"I do think it must just be greed in a lot of cases. I don't believe all teenage boys are always hungry and eat the amount of food some posters are saying their sons eat."

You really can't believe there could be a difference between boys and girls? I reached my adult height around 13 and was 5ft2. I also got slightly chubby (by the standards of the time for teenagers) if I overeat so I probably didn't eat much more than an adult. Boys, however, can be growing until they're much older and have a lot more muscle. I think they really do get that hungry.
If they're skinny, they're not overeating are they?

@Susannahmoody

It's called Krave for a reason

Isn't it just!

I'm amazed how much junk people let their kids eat.

A box of Kraves is 70% sugar, and so a 375g box of Kraves is a whopping 262g of sugar.

A can of coke is 40g

The cereal industry has done a right number on us all

My teenage DD ate more than my DS.
Probably around 4000 calories a day.
Size 8.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

That sounds like a really informative programme, theleafandnotthetree, I wish we had similar here instead of the never-ending faddy diets programmes that don't teach anything useful.

It is really good on the whole and as far as this kind of reality tv goes not that exploitative or done for dramatic effect. They have a GP, dietician, exercise guy and psychologist working with them and it's quite a balanced approach. Tgis year for example there was a young guy on it, he wasn't terribly overweight to begin with but went hell for leather and the weight flew off him. They were so mindful of burnout, at a certain point in the 8 weeks told him they didn't want him to lose anymore weight and were quite tough on him when he did, that's not the usual way in these kind of programmes. Its really interactive and you are encouraged at home to follow the diet and exercie plans of one of the 5 'leaders'. Tens of thousands of people do so and go out exercising together, it genuinely does get a fair proportion of the country moving.

Change the way you shop.

Meal plan - if they like cooking they can cook one family meal a night. If they don’t want to do that then they have to eat what they cooked for lunches. If there are huge amounts of leftovers say twice over ten days then they aren’t allowed to cook anymore.

Each child gets to choose two ‘treats’ every week be that a box of cereal, crisps, cakes etc and that is their food alone. No one else can touch it.

With communal food it must be shared equally. If it needs portioning between the children so be it.

When their fill is gone it is gone.

If they don’t like it they can pay for their own food, if they break any of the rules then they will have sanctions.

I hate greed it’s nothing to do with hunger it’s a sheer lack of courtesy for others in the home.

@Gwenhwyfar

"A bad diet - and a lot of what is being described here is that - is never a good idea even if you're skinny. It is storing up a lot of problems for later on. And plain greed is never a good look."

But if a skinny person eats less, they will be underweight won't they. If someone is eating huge amounts and still skinny, then they need that food.
Assuming OP's skinny means skinny and isn't being used for medium/average.

By bad diet, I don't really mean the quantity - although that is obviously critical too - I mean loading up with sugary, carby products which are of zero nutritional value. It's like the old trope about a smoothie having more sugar than a coke, well yes but it also has a nutritional benefit. And actually, there's nothing wrong with being skinny (which Im not by the way). It's not a sign that you're not eating enough, if you have good skin, hair, plenty of energy and vitality and strength, then you're fine.

"If they're skinny, they're not overeating are they?"

That doesn't necessarily follow does it?

@JensonsAcolyte

Good idea re freezing stuff but the trouble is they always say they’re going to eat it and then it moulders.

I'd be cooking dinner for three, and serving the two teens from their massive batch cook of fried rice / macaroni cheese / whatever. Any complaints would be met with 'Well when are you going to eat it? You might as well have it now, there's nothing else ready.'

I feel for you OP, this would drive me demented.

Often though teenagers (well people in general) are hungry because they’re greedy.

Fact is, the more you eat, the more you’re able to eat. So if you’re used to having it, then you will be hungry for it. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re hungry because you need that food.

Case in point, years ago I went on holiday to the US. In the morning we decided to go and eat at Denny’s diner so we wouldn’t have to go looking for food during the day. So the first morning we went, and ordered some enormous breakfast with 2 eggs, 2 sausages, 2 rashers of bacon and 2 pancakes “all for just 2.99.” That morning I ate it and felt physically ill afterwards. But by the end of the week I could eat it quite comfortably.

If a teenager eats a 500G box of serial in one sitting, then they will become used to that, and before you know it that 500G of serial won’t be enough and then they’ll “need” a chocolate bar, or maybe two, and then perhaps a packet of crisps or several....

It’s a dangerous road to go down to think that teenagers should have as much food as they can eat because they must be hungry if they’re able to eat it.

I’m astonished by how many people on this thread can’t distinguish between the fact that YES teens are hungry and need to eat lots, and NO, when plenty of food is available at meals and other times for them to eat, selfishly eating all the household treats or an item of food bought for another household member, isn’t acceptable and about dealing with hunger, but total selfishness.

It has been said that main meals are a decent size. Plenty of other cereal and food is available for anytime these kids are hungry. They are not hogging all the household treats and coming down in the night to scoff their little brothers treat cereal because they are hungry and no other food is available. It’s not that they don’t know...they have been told multiple times. And they STILL choose to eat all of the household treats or to eat food they know is required for a family meal.

This behaviour isn’t acceptable. It really isn’t about hungry teens. It’s about bloody selfish teens with no sense of being part of a household or caring about anyone else.

They don’t just suddenly get like this. They weren’t lovely one day and fully understanding about family life and how everyone pulls their weight and shares. Teens can often be a bit selfish, but this kind of ongoing selfishness after it’s been explained to them numerous times, suggests to me that they never learned to respect others when they were younger.

Most people don’t eat in the night. If you do suddenly feel hungry, you go down and don’t choose to eat the item that you have expressly been told is for your little brother.

It doesn’t sound about food. It sounds about wanting to defy their Mum.

Tbf 17/18 are not kids. Your DS has ££ but wastes it, stop buying snacks/treats or buy them 3 items each per week/ give them £10 each and they have to decide/budget what to get and lock away yours and your younger child’s, when they’re done that’s it.

A budget for anything over and above whatever meals you provide to include things they cook. They need to learn to scale recipes so they only make what they will eat in one sitting, particularly for anything new. They need good quality protein to fill them up - the cereal isn't doing that despite the volume.

Or instead of arguing with half of your family just do your main shop at Tesco or preferred supermarket, then do a treat shop at Aldi/Lidl/home bargains etc. You could buy much more for your money with far less arguments.
I'm not been condescending, we're a family of 7 with two teens and I find if I have a ridiculous amount of cereals, crisps, choc bars and ice cream/lolly's then they can take it or leave it. When there's not much in they seem to want everything!!