How do you teach someone to be better in bed...

[dancingstars]

Without damaging their ego? Posting here for traffic and have also namechanged. I've just started seeing someone who is great and there's a real connection. We DTD for the first time this weekend. It's not that he's necessarily bad in bed but we have different styles; he likes it hard and fast, I prefer it slow and gentle. Also he doesn't spend much time on foreplay.

I've tried telling him 'I like it when you do this...' and he does it for a few minutes. I usually need a lot longer! So has anyone successful trained someone? How did you do it?

I would never fake it @Deathgrip!

Update OP? How did it go at the weekend?!

@chunkymonkey101

I would be really concerned that he's in his 40's and still hasn't figured out how to satisfy a partner. This just sounds like someone only interested in their own pleasure, not a great prospect as a partner. The question is can you put up with bad sex if he doesn't get any better?

This.

If he is only capable of a rush job because he is really only interested in his own gratification at 40, I would think long and hard about what you want in a relationship because if he can't be arsed in the beginning it is highly unlikely to get any better.

Yes @dancingstars did he make the earth move for you?

I tried everything with my ex after two years I said about fun and games he said there’s nothing with our sex life after that I stopped caring, I just lay there let him get on with it, after four years of this he realised he had to change something, trouble was with him I could only enjoy sex if I fantasied about my crushes.

@Holothane did your ex make any attempts to improve over the years? What changes were made? Your last sentence has resonated with me

Hope OP getting on ok now with the new guy.

Not a hope it lasted 10 minutes always the same thing every time I hated it, in the end I stopped even being interested, also it was painful what I thought was in the mind has turned out to be a physical problem so with ex it was ky jelly and just lie there. My fantasy sex is mind blowing I can almost climax using just my mind,. My crush at the moment is gorgeous doesn’t half give me wonderful fantasies.