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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be mega pissed off with DS nursery???

242 replies

user1468829213 · 09/04/2021 08:09

Opinions please...my 13 month old has been absolutely fine this week apart from teething so a bit more clingy than usual. No raised temperature or illness. He went to nursery as usual Wednesday & was absolutely fine when I dropped him off, nursery updated the app to say he’s fine eating normally etc. Then at about 2 they call to say he woke up from his nap hot so they did his temp & 39.5 so we need to collect him as so high but till we get there they gave him some calpol. DH went to collect him 30 mins later & he said he seemed fine, got him home did temp & 36, put him down for a nap & temp still 36 when he wakes up & happily eating Easter egg on sofa!
Nursery told my DH because of his temp he needs a negative covid test before coming back...bit extreme I think with his temp rise seemingly lasting less than an hour but fair enough rules are rules. Do him a lateral flow test as we have these in the house & negative...send this off to nursery to which I get a message saying it needs to be a PCR test.
At this I ring the nursery to tell them DS is absolutely fine & I’m not putting him through another PCR test unnecessarily. Their response was if he doesn’t have a test he will need to isolate for 10 day’s as he has ‘covid symptoms’. I tell her surely a fluke temp rise of less than an hour isn’t covid & definitely teething especially as it went down straight after having calpol. She sees my point so rings the director but she again won’t back down & says it’s ‘government guidelines’ & he can’t come back without having a negative PCR test.
Since I was backed into a corner we took him for the test yesterday morning even though yet again he has been ABSOLUTELY FINE & I have myself seen no evidence of a high temperature or illness & are taking their word for it he had a temp of 39.5.
The thing that really makes me angry is their ‘Covid terms & conditions’ means we still have to pay them for his sessions thurs & today un till we get the negative result back...husband works in professional cricket & has had to miss the first game of the season too so not good.
AIBU to be mega pissed at nursery, It all seems so unfair for such a sudden rise & fall in temperature that I never saw evidence of myself??

OP posts:
Dustyhedge · 10/04/2021 14:24

When my daughter had covid she had a temp of 38 for less than 3 hours. You are being really unreasonable to be moaning at them for this. It’s not pleasant doing the tests but they are being sensible. Also if the temp was at 39.5 I don’t believe that would have just been teething as that is pretty high. Mine occasionally had slightly raised temps when teething but I’ve always found mine to be properly poorly at 39 plus.

ElvinBoys · 10/04/2021 17:38

As everyone else has said it is standard policy. I am a childminder and if kids are ill then payment is still due to me as it is not my fault and I am still operating a service. I do feel awful at having to have children collected at the moment when I would pretty much put money on some covid symptoms being teething, but unfortunately we can’t make those decisions. Imagine it was covid and they brushed it off as teething then all the kids fell ill. I sympathise with you though as I haven’t always been a childminder and remember having to collect my kids on many occasions for conjunctivitis etc. Unfortunately that is just part of having kids and the food news is that through mixing with so many kids and catching bugs etc they tend not to get as ill as other kids once they get to school.

Astressie · 10/04/2021 17:49

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, however, my immediate reaction is : of course his temperature went down; he had been given Calpol. Not sure why you're anti nursery reaction, although I know it must be difficult with babies whose temp. often goes up with minor illnesses when they're building their immune system.

FireflyRainbow · 10/04/2021 17:53

YABU just book a test. My son was really unwell which started with a fever and I kept just giving him calpol and it would go back to normal then spike high again over the course of about 4 days then ended up in hospital. I thought he was fine as it kept going down.

FireflyRainbow · 10/04/2021 17:54

I kept lowering it by giving him calpol but he was really unwell bless him needed antibiotics in the end

steppingcarefully · 10/04/2021 18:03

I can understand how frustrating it is for you but from the nursery's point of view they did absolutely the right thing. I work in a nursery, we have had a child test positive for covid and the whole nursery had to close for 10 days. This did not go down well with some parents especially those whose children weren't even in with the child who had tested positive, no staff so no nursery for them to attend. The impact was huge. You have to look at the bigger picture. With regards to payment the nursery still has to pay all staff and overheads when your child is not there, you may be lucky and be offered a discount, our nursery does, but I know of others that don't.

tigerlilly22 · 10/04/2021 18:06

YABU

Plumbear2 · 10/04/2021 18:08

It's frustrating yes. But everyone ekse has to follow these rules, babies and toddlers are not the exception. Try having school age kids who have to isolate for 10 days every time someone in their bubble tests positive. I honestly wonder which part of this is a pandemic some people just arnt getting.

AffableApple · 10/04/2021 18:33

YABU

Plumbear2 · 10/04/2021 18:38

Just to add from my previous post. The fact your husband has to miss cricket is the most irrelevant thing during a pandemic. Doctors, surgeons , nurses, firefighters, paramedics, teachers etc etc have all had to miss work due to children having g covid, having g to isolate for 10 days, having to isolate due to contacts, having to stay home with kids having to isolate due to being a contact in school. Cricket is bloody irrelevant during a pandemic. Grow up.

Umbivalent · 10/04/2021 18:41

YABU. Big time.

Angelil · 10/04/2021 18:45

YANBU; I am in the Netherlands and their nursery policies regarding Covid are more common-sense than what you describe.

Plumbear2 · 10/04/2021 18:47

That's great, but OP is not in the Netherlands and has to abide by the rules here.

Beverley71 · 10/04/2021 18:49

@itsgettingwierd

If it happens again book a PCR test immediately.

It should be back by the following morning if you get a slot that afternoon.

Annoying - yes.

Over reaction in a pandemic - no.

Not necessarily, my mils took 13 days to come back
RedGoldAndGreene · 10/04/2021 18:52

A lot of people don't know that LFT is for asymptomatic people and if you have e symptoms then you need a PCR.

You're also not unreasonable to be annoyed that Covid and teething symptoms overlap so your son has been sent home with what would he teething symptoms in normal times.

Your nursery is applying the rules correctly but if you have proof about the lying then you need to find a new nursery as you'll be working with them for years to come and you should be able to trust them.

Shrivelled · 10/04/2021 19:27

Sorry OP but covid doesn’t give 2 shits about how much you’re inconvenienced or what your husband does for a job. It’s not the nursery’s fault.

Imissthegym · 10/04/2021 19:43

YABU. It’s the rules.

This has happened to my DD 4 times in the last 6 months, always due to teeth (which I was sure of) but they have to be careful. Not once have a considered coming on here and having a rant about my childminder. I’ve booked a test ASAP and it’s never taken more than 24hrs. It’s an inconvenience taking leave or missing things but that’s how it is.

You seem to think your family is more important than everyone else’s.

Hesma · 10/04/2021 19:44

YABU ... it’s a pain, I appreciate that but how would you feel if the shoe were in the other foot and they let another child back in the parents’ say so and then your child got sick? They have to be super careful right now.

m0therofdragons · 10/04/2021 19:51

This had surely literally been the rules for months now. Usually you’d book a pcr, results are back within 24 hours and you carry on as usual.

m0therofdragons · 10/04/2021 19:53

Oh and judging by how many parents lie and send dc to nursery and school with sickness bugs within the 48 hours quarantine period I don’t think anyone can blame a childcare setting for being strict

CrankyFrankie · 10/04/2021 20:05

You’ve accepted YWBU but I just wanted to say I know how you feel OP. There are a few nursery policies and practices that it takes time to get your head around! I remember feeling similarly confused/suspicious, both when my son started at his first nursery aged 12 months, and then when we moved a couple of years later. It’s such a weird thing to leave your baby somewhere, I think it sparks my paranoia!

Eatingsoupwithafork · 10/04/2021 20:05

Firstly it sucks doing a test on a toddler, I did it on my DD and it was horrific so I can sympathise with that but yes absolutely normal to pay for days missed. At the minute people are on high alert and there are different risk tolerances. At the end of the day the nursery staff have worked throughout lockdown, front line, and on minimum wage, I don’t blame them for being extra strict and wanting to ensure the safety of their staff and other children.

1992EM · 10/04/2021 20:11

I don't think this is the nursery's fault. They are right, it is government policy . They can't just take parents words for it. Plenty of children can be positive and not show any symptoms and therefore isn't worth the risk. Yes it is frustrating but it is policy and I am sure you would be more annoyed if they didn't do this and you found out a child who was positive was allowed back and then everyone would be isolating for 10 days. I am glad your little boy is ok now.

1Morewineplease · 10/04/2021 20:11

Your nursery placement isn't making these guidelines up. They will be following their County Council guidelines as well as Public Health guidelines.
That you feel that you shouldn't pay, if your child doesn't attend... please remember that you're paying for a place at your chosen nursery. It's not like pay per view.

Even pre Covid times, if a child, at nursery, displays an above average temperature then that child needs to go home.
This also applies to mainstream settings.

PurpleSplodge · 10/04/2021 20:21

Why is it a thing for some parents to do a lateral flow test on children that have symptoms? 3 children on three different days have had lateral flow tests done on them at the primary school my kid attends. Parents have rung the school to tell them that they have a negative test. To then be told that you need a PCR test because they have symptoms. Poor little loves are being put through the trauma of being swabbed twice. If I know it why don't other parents know?