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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be mega pissed off with DS nursery???

242 replies

user1468829213 · 09/04/2021 08:09

Opinions please...my 13 month old has been absolutely fine this week apart from teething so a bit more clingy than usual. No raised temperature or illness. He went to nursery as usual Wednesday & was absolutely fine when I dropped him off, nursery updated the app to say he’s fine eating normally etc. Then at about 2 they call to say he woke up from his nap hot so they did his temp & 39.5 so we need to collect him as so high but till we get there they gave him some calpol. DH went to collect him 30 mins later & he said he seemed fine, got him home did temp & 36, put him down for a nap & temp still 36 when he wakes up & happily eating Easter egg on sofa!
Nursery told my DH because of his temp he needs a negative covid test before coming back...bit extreme I think with his temp rise seemingly lasting less than an hour but fair enough rules are rules. Do him a lateral flow test as we have these in the house & negative...send this off to nursery to which I get a message saying it needs to be a PCR test.
At this I ring the nursery to tell them DS is absolutely fine & I’m not putting him through another PCR test unnecessarily. Their response was if he doesn’t have a test he will need to isolate for 10 day’s as he has ‘covid symptoms’. I tell her surely a fluke temp rise of less than an hour isn’t covid & definitely teething especially as it went down straight after having calpol. She sees my point so rings the director but she again won’t back down & says it’s ‘government guidelines’ & he can’t come back without having a negative PCR test.
Since I was backed into a corner we took him for the test yesterday morning even though yet again he has been ABSOLUTELY FINE & I have myself seen no evidence of a high temperature or illness & are taking their word for it he had a temp of 39.5.
The thing that really makes me angry is their ‘Covid terms & conditions’ means we still have to pay them for his sessions thurs & today un till we get the negative result back...husband works in professional cricket & has had to miss the first game of the season too so not good.
AIBU to be mega pissed at nursery, It all seems so unfair for such a sudden rise & fall in temperature that I never saw evidence of myself??

OP posts:
PyjamaFan · 09/04/2021 08:30

They need to ensure that everyone is safe.

They can't make exceptions depending on things like how long the high temperature lasted. It's a blanket rule for every child and member of staff.

Womencanlift · 09/04/2021 08:31

It would make sense to me that you still have to pay. The nursery still has expenses that have to be covered even if your child isn’t there. I get that it’s not your fault but it isn’t the nursery’s fault either

WaitingForNormality · 09/04/2021 08:31

These rules apply for all so, no they're not being unreasonable.

It's been made so clear that LFT are only for asymptomatic testing and not if anyone has symptoms (which a temperature is; regardless of whether it's likely to be teething). PCR is the only test result establishments are able to accept. It's the same for schools OP. I know it's annoying but PCR results are coming back super quick these days (got ours in less than 12 hours at weekend).

Sally872 · 09/04/2021 08:31

It is frustrating but nursery have to follow the rules. I suppose no chance of faking a PCR might be the reason.

Always pay for nursery when child is off. I doubt covid will be any different.

Maraudery · 09/04/2021 08:32

Its normal to have to pay for sessions when your child is sick or absent. It should be in your contract. We get the lunch fee etc discounted if its a planned absence

Some of it is because obviously the nursery has the same running costs if they can't anticipate your kid not being there and some of it is to stop people calling in sick for 2 weeks rather than paying the fees

Its an even bigger thing with covid as there is a potential lots of your children might need to be off for 2 weeks, and absence rates are higher but the nursery cant predict it and staff need paying etc

MindyStClaire · 09/04/2021 08:32

@user1468829213

Thanks I suppose the consensus is IABU to be pissed off...!

Just for those who work in nurseries or have children in one is it also normal practice that a parent should still have to pay for the sessions he/she misses whilst waiting for the negative result? I was hoping it would come this morning so he could go in but nothing yet so looks like he’s missing 2 x days which stings the bank balance a lot!

It wouldn't even occur to me that we wouldn't have to pay. I'd think of it like any other sick day or holiday, if DC aren't there because of something at our end, we pay. If the nursery is closed (bank holidays etc) we don't. The staff still need to get paid so they don't really have any savings from your DC being off for a couple of days.
cameocat · 09/04/2021 08:33

Yes it is normal to still pay for those sessions. They still staff and open the nursery whether your child is off or not.

The nursery have acted within the guidelines and probably within what their risk assessment says as well. I think you should be pleased they have all the protective measures in place rather than annoyed at inconvenience.

ThanksItHasPockets · 09/04/2021 08:34

Thanks I suppose the consensus is IABU to be pissed off...!

It’s understandable and human that you are frustrated but the nursery are not at fault. TBH if you’ve had a baby in childcare over the last few months you’ve done well to avoid a burst bubble and ten days’ enforced isolation - for which you would still pay fees, although our childminder reduces them by 50% in this situation.

TeddyBeans · 09/04/2021 08:34

I kind of disagree with the 'it's standard policy' thing. I've sent DS to nursery with an everyday cough and they've said as long as it's not new or consistent they're happy. His is usually first thing in the morning but disappears about an hour after he wakes up. Nursery should have the ability to recognise what is likely to be an actual covid symptom and what's likely to be attributed to normal childhood ailments imo

Plus I LFT regularly for work. If he had it I'd catch it for sure. He's a very touchy feely boy and I regularly get smothered in kisses. Not had a positive yet 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
user1468829213 · 09/04/2021 08:35

No hours can’t be used in lieu this is their words -

‘... current government guidance states that we cant charge parents if a child is self-isolating having received a positive test result or have been contacted by NHS Test and Trace, so our normal terms and conditions are still in effect if a child is unwell or has been taken for a test. We are only recompensing parents if they are having to self isolate for the 10 day period’

I suppose the only thing that makes me suspicious is they have been known to be understaffed on certain days so have rang round asking parents to keep their child off & they’ll be refunded...And his room is ran by parents with young children and it is the Easter holidays...I can’t help but think they lied about his temp as they didn’t have the staffing for this week as controversial as this sounds! But again pointless theorising really as nothing I can do to prove it!!

OP posts:
bbn81 · 09/04/2021 08:35

I have been in the exact same situation and it is standard practice to require a PCR.

Also yes you are expected to pay fees. We have to pay fees even when nursery was closed due to a covid case in the kitchen staff. We have to pay for snow days and the likes to. That s the contract I signed. They still have over heads and staff to pay. Your child bot being there wont reduce that. In my case I budget every month for nursery fees so can't say it really affects me that much. It is a pain having to wfh with a toddler in tow but that has been the cases for the last 12 months on and off.

ChocOrange1 · 09/04/2021 08:35

Unfortunately these are the rules for all childcare and nursery settings. The government have said that high temperature and cough are symptoms and so nurseries have to stick to that, even if the temperature is only for a short time. And yes you have to pay, like you would have to if your child was ill or on holiday because they need to pay their staff and other bills.

hellywelly3 · 09/04/2021 08:36

I think it’s perfectly reasonable of the nursery. His temperature came down because he had capol. They could say he has to stay away for 10 days but they’re happy to have him back after a negative proper test.

riotlady · 09/04/2021 08:36

YABU, they need to have blanket rules or it will be chaos with e edit e coming up with reasons why they’re acceptable.

You’d be even more pissed off if your family all caught covid because nursery had let a child back in after a temp

Tanith · 09/04/2021 08:37

YABU. The nursery is following Government rules that we have all been told must apply to children displaying Covid-19 symptoms.

If you don't believe your child had a temperature (you say you didn't see it), then you don't trust them. Take your child out of that nursery and find alternative care.

If you aren't happy with the exclusion policy, take your child out of that nursery and arrange for family to look after him or stay at home yourself.

If you're upset at having to pay for the nursery while your child is off, withdraw your child and find care that does not charge for Covid absence: some don't.

ThanksItHasPockets · 09/04/2021 08:37

I suppose the only thing that makes me suspicious is they have been known to be understaffed on certain days so have rang round asking parents to keep their child off & they’ll be refunded...And his room is ran by parents with young children and it is the Easter holidays...I can’t help but think they lied about his temp as they didn’t have the staffing for this week as controversial as this sounds! But again pointless theorising really as nothing I can do to prove it!!

If you really believe that this is how the nursery is being run you need to find alternative childcare.

Aprilx · 09/04/2021 08:38

YABU to be mega pissed off yes. The nursery is taking care to ensure something doesn’t run through the entire nursery and staff. Talk about damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2021 08:38

Honestly stop trying to twist this, now you’re at they were trying to get rid as they don’t have the staff

Their policy is the government one and designed to protect staff, other children and their parents. We are in a global pandemic. And yes of course you need to pay, they need to keep the income flowing. All child care settings require this.

Insomniacexpress · 09/04/2021 08:39

Our nursery has the same policies for Covid and we have to pay for sessions missed. If you refuse to get a PCR test for the child they have to stay out 10 days. The rules at ours are that if nursery was open there is no refund. If the setting itself is fully closed due to an outbreak or other reason then a refund is given.

TotorosFurryBehind · 09/04/2021 08:39

Those are the rules the nursery has to follow
Yabu to expect a personal exception.

ChristinaYang10 · 09/04/2021 08:40

YABU, they have to follow those rules.
And yeah, I’d expect to pay in that situation, just like if my child was off ill in any other circumstances.

TrashKitten10 · 09/04/2021 08:43

Your worries about how the nursery are run and the current situation are two different issues.

The nursery are being perfectly reasonable to send home a child with a high temperature and ask for a test. They're also reasonable to charge you for your sessions as normal as none of their costs change when a child is off ill. If you'd got around to the test a bit quicker you probably wouldn't have missed so much. Yes it's annoying to pay for sessions you can't use but it's not really hitting your bank balance as it's what you would normally pay anyway.

If you really think the nursery are capable of lying about your child's health and are running understaffed and with chaotic operation then you really need to look at moving. If you're doubting they're telling you the truth about something potentially so serious then the trust relationship has broken down and you'd be better off finding another nursery.

dropthedeadhorse · 09/04/2021 08:45

My DD spiked a temperature for an hour or so, was fine in herself and it turned out when we got her test results back she had Covid and that was the only symptom. The nursery are doing the right thing

YorkshireIndie · 09/04/2021 08:45

I know it is a ball ache and I have had to pick my LO up and take him to get a PCR test before going home. I have also had to get him tested as he was too poorly for nursery but still needed a clear test before he went back

shouldistop · 09/04/2021 08:45

They're just following the rules. A Covid temperature would go down after Calpol too.