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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH annoyed that I wouldn't have sex with him last night.

128 replies

DisneyDamsel89 · 08/04/2021 11:38

I don't know if aibu but DH has been in a foul mood since he got up and had a bit of a nasty tone to his voice so I asked him what was up and he snapped at me that he was really annoyed that he'd been hinting for sex last night and he didn't get any.

For some reason I feel fuming. We have regular sex so it's not like he isn't getting any - it just feels really entitled.

OP posts:
MinnieMountain · 08/04/2021 13:00

Is he always like that it you don’t have sex when he wants it?

And not ask outright rather than hint if he was so keen?

Regardless, yuck.

MinnieMountain · 08/04/2021 13:00

*why not

Unanananana · 08/04/2021 13:03

Urgh so unsexy!

'You won't let me use you as an unwilling wanksock so I'm gonna sulk!'

Who does he think he is??

Whatwouldscullydo · 08/04/2021 13:07

Urgh

They never see past the actual act do they.

No connection is ever made between how they treat you and how often you sleep with them.

Nothing worse than a man who fir the most part would quite happily barely speak to you, then think that spending a day being "nice" and "showing affection" and by showing affection I mean pawing at you and instead of helping you with the house they just grope you and hump you while you try and get cleared up so you aren't up all evening doing chores, means you will shag them.later.

Predictable. Annoying and about as big a turn off as you can get.

iklboo · 08/04/2021 13:08

His attitude to that is "why do that when I've got you

So he thinking your his walking wank sock? Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Nonmaquillee · 08/04/2021 13:09

@Dogscanteatonions

I'd be inclined to say "well I wanted Chris Hemsworth in my bed and that didn't happen either"
😂😂😂
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/04/2021 13:22

That's awful OP

So instead of sex being a mutually wanted fun thing between two parties, he thinks that the one who 'hints' at sex has some sort of right to the others body, and should automatically get sex whenever they fancy it even if the other person doesnt? And if they don't that they are entitled to punish the partner that didnt want it, through a shitty mood, to try and manipulate them into making them do it against their wishes next time they don't fancy it? Does he really want a partner who sleeps with him because they're thinking 'shit I better shag Dave so he doesn't go off on one' rather than sleeping with him because they want to?

The entitlement to someone elses body and the misogyny here is sickening

ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 08/04/2021 13:24

I think this is more than 'entitled', 'unattractive' and 'unsexy'. Does he really think that it's OK to expect sex whenever he wants it irrespective of your feelings? And that it's OK to punish you the next day for refusing his demands? And use that tactic to manipulate you into not refusing them in future? To me that's abusive tbh.

For some reason I feel fuming.

I would say this is an underreaction if anything. As well as anger, I would be feeling alarm if I found myself in a relationship with someone who viewed me this way, and I would be thinking seriously about whether I wanted to stay.

TristantheTyrannosaurus · 08/04/2021 13:28

I'd tell him I seriously question a relationship with someone who thinks I'm a human wank sock. Sex pests are just immediate dump material.

GabsAlot · 08/04/2021 13:29

how lovely of him-what a way to make sure he doesnt get any later on either

CupoTeap · 08/04/2021 13:29

Shudder am reminded of my exh

pinkyredrose · 08/04/2021 13:32

What an immature man. Has he always been like this?

Egghead68 · 08/04/2021 13:34

Is he controlling in other ways too?

MazekeenSmith · 08/04/2021 13:35

Propagandalf

Inthesameboatatmo
Tell him if he was that bothered he could've beaten one off instead
Be careful what you say here.

The MN anti-pr0n brigade will hunt you down and bring your head to MNHQ on a silver plate!
Bookmarked

You're aware it's possible to masturbate without porn right?

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 08/04/2021 13:38

That's completely unacceptable.

I presume this isn't the first time.

What are you going to do about it? I suggest ignore it until next time is NOT a good idea.

Either get him told or leave.

Personally I'd leave because I'm no ones wank sock. No one is entitled to use my body that way and there's just no way I'd want to have sex, ever, with someone who sees sex as something they're owed rather than as a mutually enjoyable experience.

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/04/2021 13:39

He sounds a delight. And sulking is just sooo sexy too. Well if he didn’t have sex, neither did you, and you don’t have a strop on. He needs to grow up a bit, and preferably apologise for being a bit of a tit!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 08/04/2021 13:39

@Dogscanteatonions

I'd be inclined to say "well I wanted Chris Hemsworth in my bed and that didn't happen either"
That would be acceptable if OP is ok with her husband reeling off a list of women he'd want to have in his bed. If my husband came out with the smartarse comment that isn't at all smart, it would escalate.

He's wrong for treating OP as a fulfiller of sex but upping the ante isn't going to lead anywhere good; not unless the OP wants this to end. Perhaps she does?

I think many couples are temporarily fed up with the sight of each other, however much they may love them.

TristantheTyrannosaurus · 08/04/2021 13:40

@CupoTeap

Shudder am reminded of my exh
Yes, had a boyfriend, briefly, like this. He was controlling in other ways, too.
Aquamarine1029 · 08/04/2021 13:41

Men like your husband are utterly repugnant. I don't know how you can be married to a man who thinks so little of you.

Gothichouse40 · 08/04/2021 13:42

He really needs to grow up. I cannot stand huffy men. Apart from that it is your right to be able to say you don't feel like it.

Original poster
DisneyDamsel89 · 08/04/2021 13:42

He can be controlling in other ways yeah. We've talked about it until I'm blue in the face but I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference.

The worst thing is, I actually started to feel guilty that l'd not been up for it. Now I definitely will not be having sex tonight, quite frankly it's put me off it any other night.

OP posts:
MazekeenSmith · 08/04/2021 13:43

@DisneyDamsel89

It's not just the ick of it all, it's the fact that his attitude will ruin the rest of the day.
This is emotional and sexual abuse and coercive control
Eyevorbig0ne · 08/04/2021 13:43

God yeah that's annoying. My partner and I are on leave. Meant to go to cottage with hot tub.. Cancelled. We're decorating and every time he sees me it's "ooh I need to feed you some beans". I'm on atm but he keeps grabbing it and demanding a blow job. 🙄
I've told him to sort himself out. 🤬

MazekeenSmith · 08/04/2021 13:43

@DisneyDamsel89

He can be controlling in other ways yeah. We've talked about it until I'm blue in the face but I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference.

The worst thing is, I actually started to feel guilty that l'd not been up for it. Now I definitely will not be having sex tonight, quite frankly it's put me off it any other night.

You can't talk a controlling man into not being controlling
Aquamarine1029 · 08/04/2021 13:44

He can be controlling in other ways yeah. We've talked about it until I'm blue in the face but I don't think it makes a blind bit of difference.

Of course he's controlling in other ways, an attitude like this is never just limited to sex, and talking about it will never change anything. The fact is he doesn't see you as an equal and he never will. Get rid of this arsehole. You would be so much happier.