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Most Couples Are Doomed

226 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 08/04/2021 11:02

I mean in film and TV and literature .

Often at the end of a film depicting a great love story I just think...nah....two years max.

Examples:
Rose and Jack if he hadn’t frozen to death. Would she REALLY have been content with a future cut off from society and spitting and ice-fishing her way round America? No.

Satine and Christian from Moulin Rouge. I know she’s dead (and died very beautifully and romantically from TB too) but if they’d had to leave Paris, rattling through Europe dragging a bird cage, it would be no time at all before she realised there’s no freedom in being dirt poor while Christian writes his book, she’d go back to her tried and tested ways in no time to make a few bob, he’d get jealous and she’d piss off to join a chorus line in London, not as the sparking diamond but a cubic zirconia near the back.

Film Harry and Ginny- he’d realise all those years of playing the field as the chosen one was a missed chance, and he’d move out to his own flat where he’d show off his new Nike AirMax to his bewildered children and boast about crazy nights out in the local bar. Ginny would sniff stoically in a beige trench coat and hold it together for the kids.

I’m sure there are loads more.

OP posts:
YourCakesAreShit · 08/04/2021 20:29

Totally agree. As if Hermione - cleverest witch ever - would be content with total bludger Ron.

Emma and Mr. Knightley - can't believe in that one in the first place. I always want to ask him when, exactly, it was that he started to consider Emma as a romantic prospect, given that he held her when she was a baby and he was about 13... Plus, she's a prick.

I can believe in Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy because I think they knock each other's rough edges off - they improve each other in the best way.

I never worry about Belle and Beast because they're in pre-revolutionary France and are clearly filthy aristos, so I expect the guillotine will get them long before her realisation that she's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome does.

I do think that Peeta and Katniss from The Hunger Games would last. I think they understand what they've been through in a unique way.

I think Rhett did right to leave Scarlett and I don't think they got back together. I think he tried and tried and she threw it back in his face too many times. For Ashley! Ashley the Drip! I think once he was done, he was done. Shit for Scarlett, but there we are.

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 08/04/2021 20:30

@Wizzbangfizz

I also disagree about Ron and hermione and actually find them a far more believable couple than Harry and Ginny, she would have needed someone who was a bit of a laugh as she would have had a super stressful ministry career!
I agree with you, if anything book Ron is too good for book Hermione. He got over being jealous of Harry’s fame by the end of Goblet of Fire. He realises he’s wrong about house elves and other little things, hermione never has the same growth. But I think they’re both well aware of each other’s faults and have good chemistry.

I think JKR heavily hinted that Lily and James would be divorced had they lived as she was too good for him.

I hope Neville ended up happy, that bit with his parents makes me cry every time.

Heathcliff and Cathy were a right pair of insufferable pricks, and would’ve been drunk and fighting every week.

Lysander would’ve cheated Hermia non-stop, Helena and Demetrius might’ve worked out as they’re both pretty dull.

In my head the last book never happened and Bridget and Mark live until their 80s madly in love.

WiganNorthWest · 08/04/2021 20:36

I loved phoebe and mike together but I don’t think it would have worked. Or if it did she would have a few affairs. I think she would have liked the idea of having a normal life with a normal guy but would have ended up happier with someone less conventional like someone 20 years younger than her and/or from a different culture. I can imagine her being 50 and with a sweet Australian or Eastern European guy in his 20s or 30s.

Wizzbangfizz · 08/04/2021 21:14

Have Pacey and Joey been mentioned yet? Angela and Jordan? Angel and Buffy of fates hadn't conspired? Tapping into my youthful 90s obsessions...

MinesAPintOfTea · 08/04/2021 21:19

@tinylittleyou

Also re Harry Potter wizards apparently have an average life expectancy of 137 years yet they all seem to settle down and marry their school boyfriend/girlfriend in their early 20s
But nearly all of the older adults are single. Maybe they marry young, have DC then part ways?
Wrenna · 08/04/2021 21:29

Donkey and the dragon in Shrek would never have happened in real life. Actually I thought Shrek and Fiona were a better couple before she became her real self too.

Starsandglitter · 08/04/2021 21:44

I have to disagree! Book Harry and Ginny are perfect together. Ginny is completely misrepresented in the films. She’s wry, funny, confident and feisty in the books. I think Harry also doesn’t get much of a chance to have fun in the books but he’s got a great sense of humour and doesn’t actually take himself that seriously.
It’s addressed in the books that so many couples got married and had children very quickly during the last time but I think Harry and Ginny would have been just fine (Thinking about this far too much Blush )

HeechulMyOppa · 08/04/2021 22:00

@Andante57

Excellent thread, op.

Any Crash Landing on You fans on here?
Even if Capt Ri and Se Ri found a way to be together permanently, his habit of not answering questions, instead staring moodily at his interlocutor, may get on Se Ri’s nerves after a bit.

No. They are a love match. His parents, one day, will die, he’ll flee from the North with nothing keeping him there anymore and they will be together forever. Hear me? FOREVER.

Probably the only time where the leads of a programme have gotten together in real life and I’ve genuinely been happy. They had such chemistry

ScarfaceCwaw · 08/04/2021 22:13

It was such a bad ending that she gave up a great opportunity to go to Paris. Even if they’d decided to be together surely she could have gone for a year or six months and they could have made it work long distance. Instead she ended up back in a dead end job and with a guy who sabotaged a career opportunity for her by guilt tripping her into staying.

If I were Rachel I'd be reeeeeally asking myself why Ross so often "coincidentally" ended up inserting himself between me and my big career opportunities.

whyarewealwaysmuddy · 08/04/2021 22:18

@Wizzbangfizz I definitely think Joey and Pacey would still be together. I've been rewatching Dawson's creek and love their story arc.

ScarfaceCwaw · 08/04/2021 22:18

And I've said this before, but Mal and Inara from Firefly/Serenity, even though they never really did properly get together. Because they couldn't even have a fucking honest conversation, much less a vaguely functional relationship! I'm always surprised that people actually thought they would settle down.

Buffy and Angel, nope.

JaninaDuszejko · 08/04/2021 22:23

@Temp023

Never understood why the Provincial Lady stays with Robert, he is an arrogant unfeeling arse.
No, he's perfect. He indulges her and has a great sense of humour.
WiganNorthWest · 08/04/2021 22:26

@ScarfaceCwaw

It was such a bad ending that she gave up a great opportunity to go to Paris. Even if they’d decided to be together surely she could have gone for a year or six months and they could have made it work long distance. Instead she ended up back in a dead end job and with a guy who sabotaged a career opportunity for her by guilt tripping her into staying.

If I were Rachel I'd be reeeeeally asking myself why Ross so often "coincidentally" ended up inserting himself between me and my big career opportunities.

I watched the episode where Rachel announces she’s been offered a job in Paris the other day. She can barely get the sentence out before Ross interrupts and says “can I stop you there who said that something good would come along ME” and makes it all about him. Grim.
ImAncient · 08/04/2021 22:29

Anne Elliot & Captain Frederick Wentworth ❤️❤️ - my favourite Austen couple. They definitely would have lasted imo.

Mittens030869 · 08/04/2021 22:41

I never understood what Charles saw in Carrie. She was not a nice person.

I didn’t like either character, which is why I haven’t watched Four Weddings more than a couple of times. And no, they wouldn’t have lasted, not with her record for cheating.

Andante57 · 08/04/2021 23:10

No. They are a love match. His parents, one day, will die, he’ll flee from the North with nothing keeping him there anymore and they will be together forever. Hear me? FOREVER.

Heech oh dear, then that makes their 50 weeks a year forced separation - until the parents die - even more painful.

PamDenick · 09/04/2021 00:14

Jonathan and Mina … if he can put up with the love bites...

PamDenick · 09/04/2021 00:20

whoever mentioned Helena and Lysander…

he would HAVE to keep on loving her as he never had the love potion removed…

BashfulClam · 09/04/2021 00:37

@theluckiest, yes Ted and Alexis must be together!

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 09/04/2021 06:41

@PamDenick

whoever mentioned Helena and Lysander…

he would HAVE to keep on loving her as he never had the love potion removed…

Ahh, I’ve watched the CBeebies version too many times Grin
thecatsthecats · 09/04/2021 07:15

@Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong

What about Mr De Winter and his second wife? She would have grown up and realised he was a selfish and self-absorbed person who did not back her up or give her any support when she had to deal with Mrs Danvers.
They didn't work, but in a different way. The opening chapter is all about the unhappy, stultified life they lead on the continent, with her permanently in thrall to him.
theproudgeek · 09/04/2021 08:09

@ImAncient

Anne Elliot & Captain Frederick Wentworth ❤️❤️ - my favourite Austen couple. They definitely would have lasted imo.
Definitely. In finally coming together they have come home. Its a grown up relationship.
KatharinaRosalie · 09/04/2021 08:14

Carrie and Mr Big, I never understood why this was shown as such a happy ending and how she now successfully managed to catch her man, who clearly didn't want to be 'caught'. Dumped her several times and she still kept running after him, embarrassing to watch. Clearly does not want to marry you, even when he had no issues with his previous 2 weddings.

apalledandshocked · 09/04/2021 08:31

re Alan Rickman... He never actually left Emma Thompson did he? She dumped him (justificably) after finding out about the necklace and the shag. There is no way he would have left her to be with office woman on his own accord if he hadnt been discovered. So I think he would have been full of regret fairly quickly, the relationship with office woman would have limped on a while but he would be sad-eyeing Emma Thompson every time he picked up the kids and asking if they couldnt give it another chance meanwhile.

Latenightreader · 09/04/2021 10:13

I like to think that Rachel got off the plane, organised a few things with Ross, and then got back on it a few days later. She had an amazing time in Paris and was hugely successful. Ross visited regularly, but they didn’t last long term.