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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Most Couples Are Doomed

226 replies

SmidgenofaPigeon · 08/04/2021 11:02

I mean in film and TV and literature .

Often at the end of a film depicting a great love story I just think...nah....two years max.

Examples:
Rose and Jack if he hadn’t frozen to death. Would she REALLY have been content with a future cut off from society and spitting and ice-fishing her way round America? No.

Satine and Christian from Moulin Rouge. I know she’s dead (and died very beautifully and romantically from TB too) but if they’d had to leave Paris, rattling through Europe dragging a bird cage, it would be no time at all before she realised there’s no freedom in being dirt poor while Christian writes his book, she’d go back to her tried and tested ways in no time to make a few bob, he’d get jealous and she’d piss off to join a chorus line in London, not as the sparking diamond but a cubic zirconia near the back.

Film Harry and Ginny- he’d realise all those years of playing the field as the chosen one was a missed chance, and he’d move out to his own flat where he’d show off his new Nike AirMax to his bewildered children and boast about crazy nights out in the local bar. Ginny would sniff stoically in a beige trench coat and hold it together for the kids.

I’m sure there are loads more.

OP posts:
SmidgenofaPigeon · 08/04/2021 13:56

@Igotfiveonit great input 👍🏻 Have a lovely day.

OP posts:
Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 08/04/2021 13:57

I always thought Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t get past a few shags. Their romance was as deep as a standard nightclub hook-up, and the whole intro is about his wandering eye. He would have already been long married if the other women would take him.

belle002 · 08/04/2021 14:01

Ugh yes Ron & Hermoine! She would have been so bored of him in real life - he was such a dull sulk!

dayswithaY · 08/04/2021 14:02

Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman would have got an education and realised her rich boyfriend Edward (Gere) was a creep who enjoyed having power over her.

Andie McDowell would dump Hugh Grant's sorry ass within six months and go back to the States. (Four Weddings).

Harrison Ford and Melanie Griffiths would stay together (Working Girl), he'd admire her work ethic.

Jules (My Best Friend's Wedding) would have an affair with Dermot Mulroney while he was married to Cameron Diaz. Once he knew she fancied him, he wouldn't be able to resist.

MatildaTheCat · 08/04/2021 14:02

Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester. He was a grumpy devil even before he was maimed and blinded by the fire started by his psychotic wife. I’m afraid Jane would have tired of his tempers and his spoiled ‘niece’ before long.

She might have had trouble securing a divorce but she might have paid staff to tend his needs and floated around having a lovely time and ignoring him. Grin

SmidgenofaPigeon · 08/04/2021 14:02

100% Hermione would have grown out of Ron within a few years!

OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 08/04/2021 14:02

One of my favourite Biden-Obama memes!

Most Couples Are Doomed
Trixie78 · 08/04/2021 14:03

@Mumoftwoinprimary

Cinderella and Prince Charming.

She only loves him because he is a prince and she has been starved of affection. He loves her because she is an exciting unknown.

Within six months she’ll be begging the fairy godmother to find her a good lawyer!

🤣🤣🤣🤣
Pinkdelight3 · 08/04/2021 14:04

There's a saying in drama that happiness is death. Once a couple is happy, the story is over.

Shodan · 08/04/2021 14:11

Andy and Nate (Anne Hathaway and Adrian Grenier) in The Devil Wears Prada.

Six months tops before Andy realised what an absolute chauvinist tool he was and dumped his whiny arse, before pursuing her own career on her own terms (and doing brilliantly)

Bagamoyo1 · 08/04/2021 14:12

@HazelBite

I bet Harry and Sally were happy ever after though!
I was just about to say that! They would have been happy for ever, I just know it!
EdinaMonsoon · 08/04/2021 14:13

Michael & Kimberley would have lasted 2 years max...then he'd have ditched her saccharine whining ass for Jules. (My Best Friend's Wedding)

And I agree with whomever said that Carrie would have dumped Charlie (4 weddings). He was so drippy. She'd be bored with his foppish ways in a very short space of time. At which point, Darling Fi would step in and mend his broken heart. They should always have been together anyway "It's you Charlie. It's always been you".

Laura would have bitterly regretted staying with her husband (Brief Encounter) and would eventually have left him. If not for Alec, then just to give herself the opportunity to be more than someone's wife.

thecatsthecats · 08/04/2021 14:15

@CuntyMcBollocks

I think you're wrong about Rose and Jack. Rose did all of the things she planned to do with Jack in honour of his memory, and she kept him alive in her heart for all of those years.
Yes, but it's very convenient to honour someone's memory rather than living with them and thinking, "If he fucking spits one more time..."
thecatsthecats · 08/04/2021 14:17

@Onjnmoeiejducwoapy

I always thought Romeo and Juliet wouldn’t get past a few shags. Their romance was as deep as a standard nightclub hook-up, and the whole intro is about his wandering eye. He would have already been long married if the other women would take him.
I always thought the opening sonnet was sarcastic to be honest. No tale of more woe - very melodramatic pre-teen.
EdinaMonsoon · 08/04/2021 14:17

@HazelBite

I bet Harry and Sally were happy ever after though!
Absolutely! They were such a solid, happy couple. I refuse to believe that they would ever split up!

On a Meg Ryan theme though... she definitely would have ended up ditching Andy Garcia in When a Man Loves a Woman. There was too much intensity there.

Wizzbangfizz · 08/04/2021 14:17

I think it was largely acknowledged that Jonny and baby were and only ever would be a summer fling and her "bit of rough" as she was off to college and the peace core and he was presumably back to
painting and decorating Grin

Pumperthepumper · 08/04/2021 14:18

I’m not sure if this counts but Jim and Pam from the Office US would have been miserable together. He was a massive child, he did loads of stuff without telling her and their whole relationship was played out over camera, effectively like reality tv. Dwight and Angela were a much better couple.

the80sweregreat · 08/04/2021 14:24

The Notting Hill couple would have lasted a few years , then she would have gone back to the US and left him and his odd family and friends to it.
Lizzie and Mr Darcy would have stayed married forever.
Jack would have struggled with Rose's demands I think : they would have divorced eventually.
Cinderella would have realised it was only lust that kept them together, become a bit bored and divorced him for half the castle and a few of the horses. She would have set up her own successful cleaning company and made millions.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 08/04/2021 14:26

That meme made me laugh a lot, Havelock Grin

I wondered that too, why didn't Rose make an effort to get him up next to her instead of languidly stretching out to him as he was metres under the water. Silly woman.

JosephineBaker · 08/04/2021 14:29

Harry and Sally and Lizzie and Darcy last forever and are happy together. Anna and Kristof are well suited.

Finn and Rapunzel will be happy because I love them and I need them to be. Plus he's the hot Disney hero, and she deserves a hottie after all she's been through.

Arial and her obtuse Prince won't be.

Cantbebotheredtothinkofaname · 08/04/2021 14:29

I was never sure on Penny and Leonard (Big Bang Theory) it wasn’t much of a happy ending, he wanted kids she didn’t, oops I’m accidentally pregnant, the end! I suspect she would have ended up resenting the life she had because it wasn’t what she wanted.

sonjadog · 08/04/2021 14:30

I agree about Harry and Ginny. He wanted to be with her because he wanted to recreate his parents' marriage. Ginny even looked like his mother. It would have broken up by the time they were in their mid-twenties. I think Harry was probably more interested in men, tbh.

likeamillpond · 08/04/2021 14:32

David and Natalie in Love Actually
Divorced wirhin 2 years.

No way would that relationship survive the British class system.

BurningRed · 08/04/2021 14:32

@Shodan in the book they don’t get back together. Different ending!

I LOVE these. You’re all so right. Mr Big and the screeching induced heart attack has got me cackling away to myself @SmidgenofaPigeon Grin

ProfessionalWeirdo · 08/04/2021 14:32

@MatildaTheCat

Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester. He was a grumpy devil even before he was maimed and blinded by the fire started by his psychotic wife. I’m afraid Jane would have tired of his tempers and his spoiled ‘niece’ before long.

She might have had trouble securing a divorce but she might have paid staff to tend his needs and floated around having a lovely time and ignoring him. Grin

I've often wondered why Jane so readily (eagerly, even) agreed to give up her independence in order to become Rochester's full-time carer. And you're right about Adele - although he denies that she's actually his daughter, why else would he bring her into his household?

What about Cathy and Heathcliff? I think the jury is still out on that one!