Most Couples Are Doomed

[SmidgenofaPigeon]

I mean in film and TV and literature .

Often at the end of a film depicting a great love story I just think...nah....two years max.

Examples:
Rose and Jack if he hadn’t frozen to death. Would she REALLY have been content with a future cut off from society and spitting and ice-fishing her way round America? No.

Satine and Christian from Moulin Rouge. I know she’s dead (and died very beautifully and romantically from TB too) but if they’d had to leave Paris, rattling through Europe dragging a bird cage, it would be no time at all before she realised there’s no freedom in being dirt poor while Christian writes his book, she’d go back to her tried and tested ways in no time to make a few bob, he’d get jealous and she’d piss off to join a chorus line in London, not as the sparking diamond but a cubic zirconia near the back.

Film Harry and Ginny- he’d realise all those years of playing the field as the chosen one was a missed chance, and he’d move out to his own flat where he’d show off his new Nike AirMax to his bewildered children and boast about crazy nights out in the local bar. Ginny would sniff stoically in a beige trench coat and hold it together for the kids.

I’m sure there are loads more.

Rapunzel realises that the Prince has a hair fetish. She shaves her head, takes. PHD in women’s studies, joins a vegan lesbian community.

Elizabeth & Darcy are madly in love for about 5 years during which she produces 4 boys. She then realises that Darcy has more than 1 mistress & she falls out of love. They remain good mates though. At the age of 44 she produces twin girls who are 3 months premature...remarkably Darcy has been exactly 9 months away in the Americas.

What about Mr De Winter and his second wife? She would have grown up and realised he was a selfish and self-absorbed person who did not back her up or give her any support when she had to deal with Mrs Danvers

It’s ages since I read the book but didn’t Mrs Danvers know something that she could’ve blackmailed Max about?
However once Max and Mrs de Winter got the proof that Rebecca had cancer and so a reason to kill herself there was nothing Mrs Danvers could’ve done.
The book was published in 1938 so soon after they left Cornwall they’d have had to leave France (or wherever they were on mainland Europe) and return to UK.
Hmm...I wonder if their relationship would’ve survived coming back after Mrs de W throws herself into war work and meets glamorous young men on leave from active service.
Iirc we aren’t told if Mrs D dies in the fire (or are we?) so maybe she plotted further revenge.

Excellent thread, op.

Any Crash Landing on You fans on here?
Even if Capt Ri and Se Ri found a way to be together permanently, his habit of not answering questions, instead staring moodily at his interlocutor, may get on Se Ri’s nerves after a bit.

Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks in Splash

She'll realise he's just keeping her as a mermaid sex toy and she'll fuck off back to the ocean where the men know how to treat a half woman, half fish.

MistyGreenAndBlue In the book, he's pretty sure Adele is the daughter of his mistress's bit on the side, though there was no way to be sure. Jane tries to find a resemblance between him and Adele and can't.

[quote CaveMum]@benorjerry but that's exactly how I picture them - forever flitting from house to house, sponging off friends and family and outstaying their welcome! The original CFers![/quote]
Actually they remind me of the cousin in the RV in National Lampoon Christmas Vacation etc..

Oh, Duke and Daphne - he will be bored of her and back at sleeping with the waitresses at the gentlemen's club in no time.

Never understood why the Provincial Lady stays with Robert, he is an arrogant unfeeling arse.

I think Miss Mapp and Colonel Benjy will end up loathing each other, they don’t seem to like each other very much when they get together!

@ DrSbaitso

Rhett should have stayed with Scarlett O’Hara. He'll never find anyone to excite him like she did.

But his love wore out... Belle Watling would have made him happier long term. Not the same passion and thrill, but a solid dependable love. She was in love with him and they had a son together.

I think you're right that as we get older we look past the superficial and the lust and see what's real. I'm going back on myself now, when he lost Bonnie I think that's when his lust for Scarlett left him. I just wonder what would have happened if they had stayed together after Scarlett's slight change of character and when she realised she truly loved him.

@IJustWantSomeBees

Completely disagree about Monica and Chandler! They grow a lot throughout their relationship and both want the same things from life. If Monica had stayed with Richard she would have found herself having children with someone who didn't actually want them and caring for her elderly husband while only being middle-aged herself. Chandler is completely devoted to her and I like them so much better than Ross and Rachel.

...yet in real life Tom Selleck has aged beautifully, has stayed with his wife for decades whereas poor Matthew Perry just looks awful because of all his personal demons. That's why I quoted real life Harrison and Calista as an example!

Charles and Carrie wouldn't last in Four Weddings and a Funeral. She was unfaithful to Hamish with Charles, and had a far more varied and adventurous sex life than Charles. He is basically a drip who should have gone for Fiona, she would be perfect for him.

I never understood what Charles saw in Carrie. She was not a nice person.

I also disagree about Ron and hermione and actually find them a far more believable couple
than Harry and Ginny, she would have needed someone who was a bit of a laugh as she would have had a super stressful ministry career!

Beatrice and Benedick (Much Ado) would go the distance. Both sarcastic gits, but very much a team. Claudio and Hero - not so much. Neither really trust each other.

Paul and Sarah in Fever Pitch would be divorced within 2 years. She would get fed up after he wanted to name his baby daughter Lanesra and he would bugger off to the football every chance he got to escape her nagging.

@VienneseWhirligig

Charles and Carrie wouldn't last in Four Weddings and a Funeral. She was unfaithful to Hamish with Charles, and had a far more varied and adventurous sex life than Charles. He is basically a drip who should have gone for Fiona, she would be perfect for him.

Carrie was deeply unfunny and very unlikeable. I never understood the line "I love this girl". Why?

@CuntyMcBollocks

I think you're wrong about Rose and Jack. Rose did all of the things she planned to do with Jack in honour of his memory, and she kept him alive in her heart for all of those years.

But that was probably because she’d only known him a couple of days so was always infatuated with a perfect version of him because she didn’t know him long enough to get to know his flaws. Maybe they’d have stayed together if he hadn’t died but maybe they’d have realised they weren’t that suited once they spent more than a couple of days together or it would have fizzled out

May be the wrong end of the stick here but ripley and Hudson in aliens would have made a great couple if alien three and four hadn't happened

@JustJustWhy exactly! She was a dick. I suppose she was so different to his friendship group that they thought she was exotic or modern. Duckface was his usual type.

@CloudFormations

Baby and Johnny - never going to be more than a summer fling before she waltzed off to college or the peace Corps and left him behind.

Sandy and Danny - she would discover feminism at college and dump him for being a rapey bastard

Carrie and Mr Big - he let her down over and over. It would only be a matter of time until he did it again.

Good on you Sandy!

She'll realise he's just keeping her as a mermaid sex toy and she'll fuck off back to the ocean where the men know how to treat a half woman, half fish.

@DriveMeCrazy1974

What about Rachel and Ross in Friends, does anybody think they'd really still be together? I think Rachel would have finally told him to go about 6 months after the show ended. She'd have loved the whole drama of the 'did she get off the plane?' but then would have been regretting not making the move to Paris, I think.

I hope they didn’t end up together. It was such a bad ending that she gave up a great opportunity to go to Paris. Even if they’d decided to be together surely she could have gone for a year or six months and they could have made it work long distance. Instead she ended up back in a dead end job and with a guy who sabotaged a career opportunity for her by guilt tripping her into staying.

@VienneseWhirligig

Charles and Carrie wouldn't last in Four Weddings and a Funeral. She was unfaithful to Hamish with Charles, and had a far more varied and adventurous sex life than Charles. He is basically a drip who should have gone for Fiona, she would be perfect for him.

She literally had no redeeming features (well, I guess she was quite attractive but that's it!)

She slept with him, then ghosted him, then rocked up with a new fella (and why was he so unattractive as well?!), cheated on her new fella by sleeping with Charles again, ghosted him again, then fucking got him to come along wedding dress shopping with her before telling him all about all the blokes she had ever shagged, invited him to her wedding, then broke up with her husband after a few months but didn't bother telling Charles until she turned up to his wedding! And he still thought she was the best thing to ever happen to him?

WTAF? Why did they make Carrie such an unpleasant character, I never understood that?

I'm going back on myself now, when he lost Bonnie I think that's when his lust for Scarlett left him. I just wonder what would have happened if they had stayed together after Scarlett's slight change of character and when she realised she truly loved him.

He says so in the book; while Bonnie was alive, he could give her all the love Scarlett didn't care about and be happy enough that way. But when she died, she took everything. And then Scarlett blamed him for Bonnie's death and they had that terrible row that left even the stoic Mammy in floods of tears....how do you come back from that? By the time Scarlett realised her feelings, it was too late. His love had worn out. There was nothing left but pity and kindness.

I agree that Chandler and Monica will stay together. Yes, he's totally devoted to her and they want the same things.
Ross and Rachel is just a bit meh in comparison… Ross never proved his fatherhood credentials with Ben, did he?

What about Noah and Allie from the notebook? I know you see that they do stay together until old age but is this realistic?

I think it is very believable that they do stay together-so much chemistry when she goes back to him after they’ve been apart