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Original poster

Daughter looks like her Dad :-(

492 replies

Dorset555 · 06/04/2021 15:43

Hi I'm really annoyed that I'm so annoyed about this but my first child (7 week old daughter) looks just like my partner. She has done since she was born and everyone says it...his family. My family ..everyone. any photo we put online is followed by a barrage of comments to him 'oh she's your double' etc.
Firstly I don't want my daughter to look like a 40 year old man. Secondly am I being unreasonable, but I feel really jealous and upset that she doesn't look like me. I feel like I have put so much time and effort into making her and now spend 90% of my time looking after her and I just don't see any of myself in her appearance and literally all of him. To make things worse my partner is not really enjoying being a new dad and I'm trying to help him adjust but I don't even feel he really likes her yet. It all seems very unfair.
I keep checking myself though as I'm so grateful she's a happy healthy baby and this is really very unimportant. But I have to say its getting me down a bit. Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for any comments/advice.

OP posts:
AlfonsoTheTerrible · 06/04/2021 16:28

Hi I'm really annoyed that I'm so annoyed about this but my first child (7 week old daughter) looks just like my partner

Is your partner Winston Churchill?

QuidditchQueen · 06/04/2021 16:28

"that bairn looks nothing like you, but it does look like yon fella from the next cave over"
GrinGrinGrin

Chunkymenrock · 06/04/2021 16:28

Actually lol at the 'put time and effort into making her' remark! Grin Don't worry OP, at least you're not Melania!

Skigal86 · 06/04/2021 16:29

My daughter was (apparently) the spit of her dad when she was born - I never saw it, but everyone else did and it was the first thing anyone ever commented on when they saw her, from the day she was born. Now at two she’s a mix of both of us, if you put a photo of either of us at the same age next to her you’d say how alike is both she looks, so there might come a time when she looks more like you, but she might end up completely different to you both

AlfonsoTheTerrible · 06/04/2021 16:29

Given that mirrors are a very recent invention - relatively speaking - this seems unlikely.Men tens of thousands of years ago wouldn't really know what they looked like in any detail

No, mirrors are thousands of years old. The Etruscans were very fond of mirrors and ascribed mystical qualities to them.

Noideawhatnametotype · 06/04/2021 16:29

Yabu!
My son was the absolute image of his father from birth to 2 years. Absolute image. Now looks more like me. They change so quickly so she may look like you later on down the line. If not, it's no big deal.

You had a baby with him so therefore there is a good probability the baby will look like him! What else were you expecting?

Enjoy her and don't worry

Tianatiers · 06/04/2021 16:29

My DD1 looked just like my DH as a baby and everyone said it all the time, it didn’t bother me as I think he’s gorgeous. I remember someone saying to me at the time that babies do often look more like their dads at first and it’s an evolutionary thing so the dad knows the child is theirs. Not sure how true that is! At age 6 now everyone says she is my double.

notalwaysalondoner · 06/04/2021 16:30

I thought this was normal and due to evolutionary reasons. It will fade with time most likely.

Staffy1 · 06/04/2021 16:30

Just be thankful the dad is your partner then.

puffinkoala · 06/04/2021 16:31

My ds didn't look like his dad when he was born, he looked like MY dad.

He doesn't look anything like anyone now, despite being very like me as a young child. He has changed such a lot.

Your dd might do too, OP, and you'll probably find similarities with other people in the family like cousins or a grandparent.

As for your dp not liking being a parent. She's 7 weeks. Babies are boring. Give it time.

DancingInTheDaffodils · 06/04/2021 16:31

My DCs are the doubles of their Dad, fortunately they are boys. It irrationally upset me when they were younger as I did 99% of the childcare.

Fortunately they got my brains 😉

wigjuice · 06/04/2021 16:31

My mum told me that when she was pregnant with me, that she prayed I didn't have my dads nose (he had a fantastic big nose which suited him perfectly). She was granted her wish and I ended up with a little upturned button one. I always wanted it to be bigger.

AgnesNaismith · 06/04/2021 16:32

Ahhhh OP. My dd looked like Heather from Eastenders when she was born. Don’t sweat it!

Just read your most recent update. Also completely empathise, life won’t be the same - some of it will be really tough but some will be the best moments you’ll ever have. Take it easy on yourself, don’t feel the pressure to get stuff done and enjoy just lying there with her at the moment watching box sets or whatever you want to do...she’ll have no idea what the hell is going on and as long as she’s near you that’s all she’ll care about.

Don’t worry about being there for your partner, you are what matters right now.

Misspacorabanne · 06/04/2021 16:32

Hi op, both my DC looked like their dad when newborn and for the first few months! But now I can definitely see glimpses of myself, and alot of people now think DC 2 looks more like me, than his dad! So they change! Smile

mooonstone · 06/04/2021 16:32

She’s 7 weeks old. Her face will obviously change as she gets older, she might not resemble him at all soon

Choccyp1g · 06/04/2021 16:33

Evolutionary theory is thatit is so that the grandmother bonds with them, the father has no idea what he looked like as a baby.

Tianatiers · 06/04/2021 16:33

My DD looked just like her dad when she was born and everyone said it all the time. Now she’s 6 everyone says she’s my double. I personally think she’s a real mixture of the two of us and just looks like herself! I’m sure I’ve heard that babies do tend to look more like their dads at first and it’s an evolutionary thing so the dad knows the child is definitely his. Not sure how true that is!

Dixiechickonhols · 06/04/2021 16:35

Babies resemble dad so he knows it’s his and has instinct to stick around the cave and care for it. She’ll change and her personality will develop meaning you’ll see her not just a mini double of him.

Sleepdeprivedmama1 · 06/04/2021 16:36

She doesn't look like a 40 year old man. She looks like her father who is 40 years old.

Babies change, my son looked a spitting image of his father when born and now he looks more like my me. My daughter has always been a copy of her father but she doesn't look masculine or like a 38 year old male!

Don't get so worked up over something you'll never be able to control!

pigglepot · 06/04/2021 16:36

Please ignore everyone saying you are being unreasonable. It's not unreasonable at all to feel a bit put out that your new daughter doesn't look like you when that may have been what you've always imagined. I also felt really irritated when people said It constantly about my newborn daughter. She doesn't look exactly like him anymore (although she doesn't look much like me either) she looks much more like just her and has a proper little personality and her own looks!

VeganVeal · 06/04/2021 16:36

Better looking like the dad rather than the milkman

mooonstone · 06/04/2021 16:37

Ahhhh OP. My dd looked like Heather from Eastenders when she was born. Don’t sweat it!

Crying💀

YouJustDoYou · 06/04/2021 16:37

Try being mixed race and 8 years later strangers STILL ask if you're the nanny 😅

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 06/04/2021 16:38

I looked identical to my dad when I was born, then I turned into my mother as a teenager!

sweetkitty · 06/04/2021 16:39

Babies change so much in their first year especially in the first 3 month, they fill out their faces from that squashed up newborn look Grin
I have 4 DC they are all a bit older now, 2 DDs look like me, nothing like DH at all, they have my eyes and colouring, other DD looks like DHs sister and DC in that she could be one of her children but has my eyes too, DS is a carbon copy of DH, always has been, he looks nothing like me at all. All four DC have different hair colours as well, the beauty of genetics you never know what your going to get.