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AIBU?

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Original poster

Snapchat for 7 year old?

110 replies

M24L · 05/04/2021 22:41

My DD 7 had a sleepover with her cousin who is 12 and has Snapchat, my DD asked if she could also have Snapchat I responded with no as 7 is far too young but after DD discussing with her dad (DH) she stated she would add only her cousin and no one else her dad said it would be OK.

Now DD hadn't downloaded Snapchat but has went for a sleepover with said cousin, I said to DD before dropping her off that she could set up Snapchat when back home so that myself or DH could have access to passwords etc and have control of the account, I have an app on my phone that controls everything DD does and it has just notified me that she has downloaded and set up Snapchat with her cousin behind my back.

I have blocked the app on her phone for the time being and I spoke with DD to find out why she went behind my back to do this only to be told that it was her cousin who set it up and her cousin has added other cousins and said cousins friend.

I am absolutely livid with this. AIBU to have blocked the app on her phone? I honestly think 7 is far too young for such an app and the fact now that they have went and added more than first stated just goes to show me that there is no trust that it would remain only her cousin.

DH is sleeping at the moment so I'm now lying here feeling guilty that DD isn't "down with the cool kids" but also angry that I've been disobeyed and I have noone to talk to about it.

YABU - it's only her cousins she's added and you can get all details etc to keep and eye on it when she's home.

YANBU - She's 7 and far too young for Snapchat, they shouldn't have done it behind your back.

OP posts:
Xmassprout · 05/04/2021 22:42

Of course she is far too young. And going behind your back and downloaded and added more than just the one cousin, shows that she can't be trusted.

Wowcherarestalkingme · 05/04/2021 22:43

Far too young. And too young to have a phone to be honest

BoobsOnTheMoon · 05/04/2021 22:44

I don't understand why your 7 yr old even has a smartphone tbh Confused but yes, she is far too young for Snapchat. Who's the adult here? Get a handle on this and get some proper parental controls if you are determined to allow a 7 yr old a smartphone.

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 05/04/2021 22:45

@Wowcherarestalkingme

Far too young. And too young to have a phone to be honest
This.
Original poster
M24L · 05/04/2021 22:47

7 can be too young for a phone although I have full control over her phone which enables her the trust of having a phone but I can also see exactly what she does on it. So far she has been very good with it and abided by every rule up until today.

OP posts:
Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 05/04/2021 22:47

Seven is young to even have a phone. I can quite understand how your daughter would agree/go along with her cousin's suggestion of setting it up for her there and then so I don't think your daughter can be blamed for that. I think, ultimately, the develoomental gap between seven and 12 is too large and you'll have to rethink the unsupervised sleepovers if this is the sort of thing your niece (and no doubt every 12 year old) is in to. It's not appropriate for your daughter.

Original poster
M24L · 05/04/2021 22:49

@BoobsOnTheMoon as stated in the comment above I have very strict parental controls on her smartphone, I can see everything she does on the phone, I can delete apps, block apps etc and also remotely shut her phone down from my phone.

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 05/04/2021 22:50

What does she even need a phone for?! Games: switch, xbox, an old DS...
Calls: to who? Borrow a grown-up's one.

BoobsOnTheMoon · 05/04/2021 22:52

If your 7 yr old can install Snapchat then no, you do not have "very strict parental controls"!!

TreacleTits · 05/04/2021 22:55

A phone? Like something they can take from the house and have an opportunity to use without supervision? 7 is not ok OP honestly....

Original poster
M24L · 05/04/2021 22:57

I relaxed the parental controls slightly the other day as she had downloaded free games I decided to allow free app downloads as it is normally games she downloads and she always asks before she downloads anyway, I hadn't put the controls back on but as soon as I received the notification stating Snapchat had been downloaded I blocked the app straight away so the parental controls are there I only relaxed them slightly not thinking that they would be downloading Snapchat on it.

OP posts:
mybonnieliesovertheocean2 · 05/04/2021 22:57

My DD had a friend who had access to a phone from a young age and ended up being groomed by a ‘friend’ she met on one of those sites and sent nude photos of herself . She was 8. Snapchat is a place which is commonly used amongst older kids ,messages disappear so you won’t have a trail to monitor who she is engaged with. She is far too young

nimbuscloud · 05/04/2021 22:59

What she is looking at on her 12 year old cousin’s phone is also a question you should be asking.

Original poster
M24L · 05/04/2021 23:00

@mybonnieliesovertheocean2 this is exactly what I've been thinking I've heard people saying Snapchat is used as a bullying platform and it is also apparently easy to set up. I asked DD how she managed to set it up without an email address etc and she said her cousin just input a birthday.

OP posts:
littlemisslozza · 05/04/2021 23:00

I honestly don't know any 7 year olds with phones. Tends to be age 10/11 amongst my DCs friends. Year 6 into year 7. Age 7 is kindle or a Switch type age.

altlife · 05/04/2021 23:00

Sorry to come across judgy but absolutely agree she shouldn't have a phone. She's 7, and far too young to know any better than what her cousin (or anyone else) tells her. Or puts on her phone. Just because you can see it doesn't necessarily mean it is safe.

If you don't feel able to take the phone away from her, perhaps you could only allow her to use it in the house? So when she is at a sleepover for example, she doesn't take it with her?

Thedogscollar · 05/04/2021 23:02

Why does a 7 yr old need a phone?
Whether you have control or not I still can't understand the rationale for a child this age to require the use of a smartphone.
As for snapchatShock

TimeForTeaAndG · 05/04/2021 23:02

Most apps are free to download, Tinder, Snapchat, Instagram, whole heap of apps I've not even heard of but all massively unsuitable for a 7yo. I absolutely agree with a PP who said that the unsupervised sleepovers with a 12yo are not appropriate.

Remove the phone and then you won't have to bother with any of this.

Merryoldgoat · 05/04/2021 23:02

Far too young for a phone and Snapchat. Literally no reason they need one.

LewisFan · 05/04/2021 23:04

If you don't want to say no outright, the minimum age for Snapchat (and all other social media) is 13.

I agree that she is miles too young and clearly too young to stop others taking advantage as seen with her cousin.

Snapchat is one of the more well known sites for issues too as it is untraceable so no, it isn't about being "down with the cool kids"; it's safeguarding and protecting your most precious thing on earth.

mybonnieliesovertheocean2 · 05/04/2021 23:07

M24L that’s the problem with the apps. Anyone can make you an account. I would be having a word with her cousin to advise she is too young. I think the 12yr old is too young too as I am pretty sure the age limit is 13/14. It is a forum for bullying and it can get pretty nasty. You can follow anyone and you have no idea who they are. My DD was harassed over months by a boy/man asking for a topless photo of her. Thankfully she told me however other friends fell for the I like you etc over months and send a photo for the boy to screen shot it and share it amongst his mates. Definitely a time to safeguard our kids and educate from a young age of the use of these sites

MazDazzle · 05/04/2021 23:08

My SIL allowed my DN to have snaphat on her tablet when she was 7. I was horrified, but bit my tongue. Apparently it was to keep in touch with a couple of friends only and her mum would have strict control over it.

Fast forward two years and her mum has deleted the app completely. One of my DN’s close friends had been giving out her personal details to strangers on Roblox and connecting with them on Snapchat. The friend added my niece to a group chat. Thankfully her mother saw a notification and opened up the chat - what she found was horrendous. The strangers she met via Roblox were clearly much older and the chat was leaning towards sexual content.

Your daughter is far too young to have social media!

Bringonspring · 05/04/2021 23:09

Surely this is not true, no one in their rig mind would give a child a phone, do you do any parenting or just let her sit in her phone? What possible justification is there for a 7 year old to have a phone

Or maybe you also let her out at night time/head to night clubs are therefore to make sure she is safe you give her a phone

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 05/04/2021 23:10

I'm now lying here feeling guilty that DD isn't "down with the cool kids"

Problem is that the cool kids she's trying to be 'down' with are five years older than her. Her fellow Year 2/3s aren't on Snapchat and most won't have their own phone. I'd be limiting the time your DD spends with her cousin massively- she's proven herself to be a bad influence.

MazDazzle · 05/04/2021 23:10

Also, as well as being easy to set up an account, you can have multiple accounts. My DN’s friend had two accounts: one her mum monitored and another one. It was the other one she used to connect to boys/men and set up group chats with them and her friends.