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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Snapchat for 7 year old?

110 replies

M24L · 05/04/2021 22:41

My DD 7 had a sleepover with her cousin who is 12 and has Snapchat, my DD asked if she could also have Snapchat I responded with no as 7 is far too young but after DD discussing with her dad (DH) she stated she would add only her cousin and no one else her dad said it would be OK.

Now DD hadn't downloaded Snapchat but has went for a sleepover with said cousin, I said to DD before dropping her off that she could set up Snapchat when back home so that myself or DH could have access to passwords etc and have control of the account, I have an app on my phone that controls everything DD does and it has just notified me that she has downloaded and set up Snapchat with her cousin behind my back.

I have blocked the app on her phone for the time being and I spoke with DD to find out why she went behind my back to do this only to be told that it was her cousin who set it up and her cousin has added other cousins and said cousins friend.

I am absolutely livid with this. AIBU to have blocked the app on her phone? I honestly think 7 is far too young for such an app and the fact now that they have went and added more than first stated just goes to show me that there is no trust that it would remain only her cousin.

DH is sleeping at the moment so I'm now lying here feeling guilty that DD isn't "down with the cool kids" but also angry that I've been disobeyed and I have noone to talk to about it.

YABU - it's only her cousins she's added and you can get all details etc to keep and eye on it when she's home.

YANBU - She's 7 and far too young for Snapchat, they shouldn't have done it behind your back.

OP posts:
FilthyforFirth · 05/04/2021 23:11

I would stop trying to be her mate to be honest and remove the phone altogether. I cannot fathom why a 7 year old needs a mobile. Madness.

RuggerHug · 05/04/2021 23:11

Yeah...she's been good until now. She went against what you told her, the phone gets taken away now. If she 'needs' one then she gets a brick, not a smartphone. She probably was pressured by her cousin but she went along with it. Have you spoken to the cousins parents?

RuggerHug · 05/04/2021 23:12

Yeah...she's been good until now. She went against what you told her, the phone gets taken away now. If she 'needs' one then she gets a brick, not a smartphone. She probably was pressured by her cousin but she went along with it. Have you spoken to the cousins parents?

Carbara · 05/04/2021 23:14

There no need for a 7yr old child to have a phone. The cliche of ‘but all my friends have—‘ has been trotted out by all previous generations over whatever was in fashion at the time, and gets shot down instantly by basic parenting. Nope. No phone, no apps, no exposure to the hellscape of the internet for young children. Obviously.

Dreambigger · 05/04/2021 23:14

I agree she is far too young for a phone and she's even too young to be able to take responsibility for downloading whatever on the phone or what its being used for...she's not old enough to distinguish exactly what is right and wrong in this situation.. sounds more like the cousin had a much bigger part to play. Dont scare her off telling you stuff though...just accept she's just not old to make these decisions and take charge. Dont put so much pressure on a 7 year old to 'abide by the rules' ..genuinely this is too much responsibility for this age..

sipsmith1 · 05/04/2021 23:15

There is no way I’d ever let a seven or twelve year old have Snapchat. I’m in my twenties and had it whilst at uni, I’d regularly get unsolicited graphic sexual images and messages from people I didn’t know. It may have changed in the past few years but you could explore local peoples Snapchat stories and it shared your exact location with people.

Bringonspring · 05/04/2021 23:16

I’ve just reported this thread as don’t believe for a second this is real.

Lampan · 05/04/2021 23:16

Of course 7 is too young. But if you told her she could download it later when she got home, she probably didn’t feel like she was really doing much wrong.

worried3012 · 05/04/2021 23:18

I'm intrigued as to what app you use to monitor her phone and let you shut it down! I need an app like that.

I think Snapchat is too much for a 7 year old. My child wants it but I've said not until they are 13 even though their friends seemingly have it. I have it and I too have weirdos sending dodgy photos and no idea how they got my details as I only shared it with people I know.

justwaydamin · 05/04/2021 23:22

7 is too young for a phone and I'm not even thinking about her accessing anything untoward. It is simply too young to have a phone. Why oh why would she need one?!

justwaydamin · 05/04/2021 23:23

And you clearly don't have good parental restrictions on it if she was able to download Snapchat?!

SweetAsANutt · 05/04/2021 23:25

Jeez. Way too young and too young to have a phone to.

ferriswheel20 · 05/04/2021 23:27

The age for Snapchat is 13+ so neither your DD nor her cousin should be accessing it, I had it briefly and received all sorts from people I didn't know, dick pics galore

SweetAsANutt · 05/04/2021 23:28

Anyone could be sending her pictures of anything. It's such a dodgy app and if I am rightly informed doesn't it also delete messages?

prosecco13 · 05/04/2021 23:28

I think more 7 year olds have phones than people realise most of the children in year 3 have phones at my school which is why I gave my child an old phone, he is only able to FaceTime friends which he only does whilst he is gaming so 2 tops 3 hours a day then it gets put away with the rest of his devices.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 05/04/2021 23:30

Fucks sake op a 7 year old does not have the maturity to have their own phone. Why would they need one??

LittleBearPad · 05/04/2021 23:30

Take her phone off her. She’s too young for a smart phone

getyourfreakon · 05/04/2021 23:31

Just so you know, a Snapchat account cannot be logged into on more than one device without logging the other out. So you can't keep an eye on it between two.

LittleBearPad · 05/04/2021 23:31

@prosecco13

I think more 7 year olds have phones than people realise most of the children in year 3 have phones at my school which is why I gave my child an old phone, he is only able to FaceTime friends which he only does whilst he is gaming so 2 tops 3 hours a day then it gets put away with the rest of his devices.
They really don’t.

Rest of his devices - he’s 7!

prosecco13 · 05/04/2021 23:41

@LittleBearPad
They really do.
I think a lot of children got them to be able to talk to friends in lockdown.

LittleBearPad · 05/04/2021 23:47

[quote prosecco13]@LittleBearPad
They really do.
I think a lot of children got them to be able to talk to friends in lockdown. [/quote]
Perhaps where you live. Here they used their parents’ phones or zoom on tablets.

Regardless 7 year olds do not need phones. They have access to all sorts of things with them that aren’t safe for children. And any parent who thinks they can control what they see and the apps they use is an idiot.

FireflyRainbow · 05/04/2021 23:49

Omg why has your 7 year old got a phone Shock madness.

FireflyRainbow · 05/04/2021 23:51

My 7 year old had a train set and car garage. Think we must live in different worlds.

LifesLittleDeciders · 05/04/2021 23:52

Your having issues with a smart phone at 7 years old... take it off her, replace it with a text and call emergency only phone. If your having problems now, even if they are influenced by older cousin, you’ll have bigger problems at 12, 13, 14,15 ect.

KnottyKnitting · 05/04/2021 23:53

Jeez a 7 year old with a phone... FFS!Hmm