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AIBU?

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Original poster

Snapchat for 7 year old?

110 replies

M24L · 05/04/2021 22:41

My DD 7 had a sleepover with her cousin who is 12 and has Snapchat, my DD asked if she could also have Snapchat I responded with no as 7 is far too young but after DD discussing with her dad (DH) she stated she would add only her cousin and no one else her dad said it would be OK.

Now DD hadn't downloaded Snapchat but has went for a sleepover with said cousin, I said to DD before dropping her off that she could set up Snapchat when back home so that myself or DH could have access to passwords etc and have control of the account, I have an app on my phone that controls everything DD does and it has just notified me that she has downloaded and set up Snapchat with her cousin behind my back.

I have blocked the app on her phone for the time being and I spoke with DD to find out why she went behind my back to do this only to be told that it was her cousin who set it up and her cousin has added other cousins and said cousins friend.

I am absolutely livid with this. AIBU to have blocked the app on her phone? I honestly think 7 is far too young for such an app and the fact now that they have went and added more than first stated just goes to show me that there is no trust that it would remain only her cousin.

DH is sleeping at the moment so I'm now lying here feeling guilty that DD isn't "down with the cool kids" but also angry that I've been disobeyed and I have noone to talk to about it.

YABU - it's only her cousins she's added and you can get all details etc to keep and eye on it when she's home.

YANBU - She's 7 and far too young for Snapchat, they shouldn't have done it behind your back.

OP posts:
HoldontoOneMoreDay · 06/04/2021 00:03

My 15 yo spent some of yesterday with his 7 yo cousin and didn't take his phone out with him cos 'honest mum, why would I be using my phone with a 7 year old kid around, I don't want the responsibility of her seeing things that are too old for her.' (He meant minecraft and his WhatsApp groups).

Give your head a wobble OP. It would be a sad day indeed if my DS had more sense than you.

GuildfordGal · 06/04/2021 00:15

I'm now lying here feeling guilty that DD isn't "down with the cool kids"

At 7? Jeez. Take the phone away and replace with something for 7 year olds.

Kokeshi123 · 06/04/2021 00:21

I would not let a 7yo have an internet enabled phone, and I really don't think they should be coming on sleepovers. I'd be very annoyed if a parent sent their child with a smartphone, as I would not be allowing unsupervised access to it, so I'd have to take the responsibility of taking it off them, hiding it and dealing with the moaning about "Can I have my phone? Please? For just five minutes?" all day long. She does not need a phone on a sleepover---I assume there is a landline in the house?

Returnoftheowl · 06/04/2021 01:18

7 is absolutely too young for Snapchat. You also need to increase the parental controls back up... If she can download things without permissions there are even worse apps she could stumble on.

Happynewtier · 06/04/2021 01:20

I cannot believe your 7 year old has a phone...?! Actually quite concerning that you appear to think this is normal too, and agreed to an app such as Snapchat! I have a 7 year old, and couldn't imagine letting her have a device to take places with her and use unsupervised. Not that she'd ask for one or want one, as she wouldn't see the point. She spends most of her time playing with toys, and her siblings, drawing/painting, out on her bike/scooter, in the garden looking for insects, at the park playing etc. She'll maybe have half an hour of t.v/kids tablet time if she feels like it, but then back to playing. They're kids for such a short time, why try and make them appear "cool"/grown up at 7?!

Lesssaideasymended · 06/04/2021 01:31

My DS probably had Snapchat at that age but only had me and his DF on it. He only wanted it because of the filters and liked making videos with them. Never uses it now at 11

Shelddd · 06/04/2021 01:33

I think some people don't know the origins of Snapchat but it originally was created as an app geared towards adults. It was solely created for the purpose of sharing nude photos that you didn't have to worry about getting saved and forwarded on.

Obviously years later they tried to rebrand it towards all ages... But the original idea and functionality is still there and that was to share nude photos.

I wouldn't let a 7 year old, i would let a 13 year old use it either.

Shelddd · 06/04/2021 01:34

Wouldn't** let a 13 year old use it either

sorry won't let me edit.

hellomom · 06/04/2021 01:43

Why on earth does a 7 year old have a smartphone. You wouldn't have this issue if you didn't give her. Phone at such a young age. Sorry but it's ridiculous. Why does she need a phone at that age? I have a 8 year old and there's no way I would even think of giving him one. Especially not a smartphone.
There's already a huge age gap between herself and cousin, so really not sure why she's having sleepovers with her. What else is cousin teaching your daughter

SoMuchBadInfo · 06/04/2021 01:48

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RoseRedRoseBlue · 06/04/2021 02:00

This all starts and ends with the OP letting her daughter have a smart phone. It is completely unnecessary.

SuperSange · 06/04/2021 02:25

@RoseRedRoseBlue

This all starts and ends with the OP letting her daughter have a smart phone. It is completely unnecessary.
Exactly. If she didn't have a phone, it wouldn't have happened. Because she's not mature enough to be able to understand a simple instruction. Take some responsibility here OP, this is on you, not the cousin.
LudoTrouble · 06/04/2021 02:31

You have to settle into that feeling of her missing out on some things. Be okay with that feeling. Don't feel guilty.

theyallfelldown · 06/04/2021 02:48

I don't know why a 7-year-old is having a sleepover with a 12-year-old.

I get that they're related, but that doesn't mean they're close in age and/or have the same interests. If you let your child spend alone time with kids who are so much older, it's no surprise she will try to do things that are inappropriate for her own age!

I would try to subtly discourage the two from spending so much time together for now. The age gap will mean less when they're both older, but at this stage in their lives, it's a bit of a chasm.

AnniesAmazingEyebrows · 06/04/2021 02:53

I'm actually. It against phones for seven year olds within government reason but I don't think unsupervised online access for seven year olds is a good idea which is basically what your seven is having if there's not an adult around.

Four years is large age gap in terms of online coney and what is ok for a 12 year old isn't ok for a 7 year old. 12 is around the time many start with social media and it can seem exciting to far younger kids and I can see why a seven year old hasn't said no to the cousin.

You can have the tightest controls on her phone but you can't control what her cousin gives her access to on her own phone, and at seven it's your responsibility to make sure they're kept on, she's too young to be held responsible for this, it's a bit of red herring though because if she's having unsupervised online access at her older cousins then her cousin can just show her anything in her phone you say no to.

AnniesAmazingEyebrows · 06/04/2021 03:03

I have no idea what happened to first part of my post.

Should have said, I'm not actually against 7 year olds having access to phones within reason.

Coney should say content.

Hmm stupid phone.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 06/04/2021 03:16

Why on earth does a 7 year old need a phone ?

Far too young and she has no idea about the dangers this can bring. Let her contact her cousins using your phone under supervision.

SakuraEdenSwan1 · 06/04/2021 03:19

I suggest you watch Undercover Paedophile on C4 if you think you have control @M24L

Original poster
M24L · 06/04/2021 05:47

@worried3012 the app is called family link on Samsung (not sure if you can download it on iphone)

OP posts:
Original poster
M24L · 06/04/2021 05:58

The phone was bought as a present for DD to be able to keep in contact with DH when working away, yes she could have used my phone which she was doing at the start but we trusted her enough to allow her the contact between her and dad on her own phone. As stated above I have great control over the phone but let my guard down slightly when I allowed any free app to be downloaded.

The idea of DD having Snapchat was definitely a no no for me, DH said yes to her but after speaking with him this morning he has said that he wasn't aware of the type of app it was and thought that it would be OK for DD to stay in contact with her cousin via this (neither of us have Facebook or any other social media platform) but now it's been explained he has also said it should not be happening and he's glad that I have blocked the app on her phone.

The "sleepovers" are not a regular thing this is the first time it's happend in a long time and now completely understanding that the cousin has grown up quite a bit since the last time DD stayed over she has just started to become allowed social media etc. I will be speaking with DD when she comes home and explaining that Snapchat is 100% a no go and the app will be remaining blocked on her phone.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 06/04/2021 07:42

Why did she need an internet enabled phone to stay in touch with her father?

rainbowthoughts · 06/04/2021 07:49

She is 7 and she was told by her dad it was okay . Fair enough you did tell her to wait but I can't see she did much wrong here as an excited 7 year old who's dad said she could have the app.

This is all about parental responsibility. It's not your child you need to be angry at.

Mumoblue · 06/04/2021 07:50

Definitely way too young for Snapchat. Too young for a phone in general IMO.

Inneedofanewwardrobe · 06/04/2021 07:55

You sound completely deluded. You've given a seven year old a phone, a seven year old is not mature enough to handle that responsibility and all that comes with a smartphone. Poor kid.

somuchlaundrytowash · 06/04/2021 07:56

7 is too young for a phone, never mind Snapchat

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