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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish people would stop quoting a long post and typing This.

300 replies

CateTown · 05/04/2021 17:05

It's doing my head - and my scrolling finger - in.

OP posts:
MumofPsuedoAdult · 05/04/2021 19:57

@OlympicProcrastinator

Oh no. People not using MN as other posters want them to is a big problem this week.

This

[big grin]
Giantrooster · 05/04/2021 20:02

@littlepattilou

Oh HELL no to a 'like' button.

As I said on a previous thread a few days ago, it creates cliques, and divisions, and bullying, and ganging-up. I have seen it happen many times on other forums. And if two people are arguing, the one with the most LIKES on their posts feels all smug and special and assumes they're right.

A LIKE button is a horrible idea.

Definitely agree an edit function would be a good idea though. Even if it was only 'open for editing' for say, one minute, to enable you to correct typos.

This this this

Ohh dreaming of an edit function (begging).

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:02

Another good thing about a like button is that they can defuse flame wars. If you can see one person building up a lot of agreement via the like button, and the other not so much, it can "settle" the debate a bit (at least in the sense of seeing who's speaking for the majority) and enable people to show where they stand without having to add comments that could fan the flames.

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:04

I swear that was a cross post! I stand by it (not seen the negative effects elsewhere that others have) but I didn't see the previous posts while I was typing it...I'm not just trying to be contrary!

EarringsandLipstick · 05/04/2021 20:05

@DrSbaitso

Another good thing about a like button is that they can defuse flame wars. If you can see one person building up a lot of agreement via the like button, and the other not so much, it can "settle" the debate a bit (at least in the sense of seeing who's speaking for the majority) and enable people to show where they stand without having to add comments that could fan the flames.
How on Earth?

A like button would absolutely enable more bullying & piling on by some, who wouldn't be bothered to post & be articulate about why.

Absolutely no. (And as well, the often brilliant posts here are what makes MN for me).

Sparklingbrook · 05/04/2021 20:07

Another good thing about a like button

What were the other good things? Confused

Giantrooster · 05/04/2021 20:08

@DrSbaitso
You must have seen the royalty posters on here (not necessarily old ones) being on every possible thread on specific boards. By posting this much they build an entourage as people recognize them. Imo they (some) often give shit advice. Hell no should they have the last say just because they live on MN.

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:10

A like button would absolutely enable more bullying & piling on by some, who wouldn't be bothered to post & be articulate about why.

That's not been my experience in other places that have it, unless it's "bullying" and "piling on" when one person says something that a lot of people show they agree with.

Bullying and piling on is far more likely to happen when commenting is the only way to show how you feel about something. Lots of comments to the effect of "you are wrong" are far more overwhelming than a few of them with lots of likes on them. And of course comments beget more comments, and more flame wars, and more ways of saying "you're wrong", thus fanning the flames if it's going that way.

I haven't seen cliques on the like button either. Again, that's the kind of thing that's expressed by comments.

Sparklingbrook · 05/04/2021 20:13

That's not been my experience in other places that have it

This seems to be the point all the time. These 'other places' that have it and therefore MN must too. Maybe a lot of people like MN because it's not the same as all the rest?

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:15

@Giantrooster

@DrSbaitso You must have seen the royalty posters on here (not necessarily old ones) being on every possible thread on specific boards. By posting this much they build an entourage as people recognize them. Imo they (some) often give shit advice. Hell no should they have the last say just because they live on MN.
I don't know who the "royalty" posters are. I recognise some names as long timers who obviously haven't changed like most of us probably do. If we had a like button, people could use that to show their agreement rather than more and more comments that I think are more overwhelming than a high popularity score on a smaller number of posts.

I don't know how you could stop people from gravitating towards posters they like. I don't know if you would want to. Isn't that just part of a community?

AnyFucker is probably the only "royalty" member I can think of and much as I like her, I know she's had some suspensions. So as popular as she is, that doesn't seem to make her untouchable, so I'm not really worried about popular posters becoming invincible.

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:16

@Sparklingbrook

That's not been my experience in other places that have it

This seems to be the point all the time. These 'other places' that have it and therefore MN must too. Maybe a lot of people like MN because it's not the same as all the rest?

It is different, but the lack of a like button isn't the difference that draws me, personally.
TheWristBoundLatexBitch · 05/04/2021 20:18

@PolarnOPirate

I see your point but it’s also infuriating when someone on page 10 says ‘what *@username* said’ ...... I’m not going to search 10 pages of usernames to see what they agree with.
This
1Morewineplease · 05/04/2021 20:21

But surely just writing 'this, twenty posts after the post you agree with means nothing to anyone?

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:23

This very discussion about the like button could be more easily "solved" if we had one. If we could see which posts were getting the most "likes", we could get a better idea of the consensus.

littlepattilou · 05/04/2021 20:24

@DrSbaitso

Another good thing about a like button is that they can defuse flame wars. If you can see one person building up a lot of agreement via the like button, and the other not so much, it can "settle" the debate a bit.

WTAF? Confused

If a particular poster has a bunch of fans/ followers/ mates on here, or is much more vocal, or has been here a lot longer, they will get more LIKES on their posts than someone who is quite new, or less vocal/less opinionated. (Basically, some people will get more LIKES because they have more people in their clique/more fangirls.)

Yet according to you, the one who has the most 'likes' is RIGHT, and it 'settles the debate!' Hmm

Oh HELL no! Angry Hmm

Someone having more LIKES will not 'settle the debate,' it will just create cliques and bullying, and make the poster with less 'likes' feel isolated and ganged-up on. It also PROVES NOTHING if a certain poster has more 'likes!' (Other than they have more people in their clique.) As a pp said, the MN 'Royalty.' Wink Anyone who denies these posters exist is deluded.

WE. MUST. NEVER. HAVE. A. LIKE. BUTTON.

NEVER! Hmm

littlepattilou · 05/04/2021 20:25

@DrSbaitso

This very discussion about the like button could be more easily "solved" if we had one. If we could see which posts were getting the most "likes", we could get a better idea of the consensus.
Have you not heard of the AIBU vote function?! Hmm
ThornAmongstRoses · 05/04/2021 20:25

There is absolutely nothing worse than someone typing: “I agree with everything you said (insert username)”

But not actually quoting what that poster said....

So nobody has any bloody idea what is being agreed with Grin

Sometimes I scroll back but it’s so so so irritating!

whenthebellsring · 05/04/2021 20:27

Yet according to you, the one who has the most 'likes' is RIGHT, and it 'settles the debate!'

Yes, this is exactly what's wrong with the Lie button. This is what most people actually think - both those who love the Likes given to them and those give them.

DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:27

according to you, the one who has the most 'likes' is RIGHT, and it 'settles the debate!'

There's a reason I put "settle" in speech marks and also said "at least in the sense of seeing who's speaking for the majority". If you're going to get outraged over comments, at least have the decency to quote them in context.

whenthebellsring · 05/04/2021 20:28

[quote littlepattilou]@DrSbaitso

Another good thing about a like button is that they can defuse flame wars. If you can see one person building up a lot of agreement via the like button, and the other not so much, it can "settle" the debate a bit.

WTAF? Confused

If a particular poster has a bunch of fans/ followers/ mates on here, or is much more vocal, or has been here a lot longer, they will get more LIKES on their posts than someone who is quite new, or less vocal/less opinionated. (Basically, some people will get more LIKES because they have more people in their clique/more fangirls.)

Yet according to you, the one who has the most 'likes' is RIGHT, and it 'settles the debate!' Hmm

Oh HELL no! Angry Hmm

Someone having more LIKES will not 'settle the debate,' it will just create cliques and bullying, and make the poster with less 'likes' feel isolated and ganged-up on. It also PROVES NOTHING if a certain poster has more 'likes!' (Other than they have more people in their clique.) As a pp said, the MN 'Royalty.' Wink Anyone who denies these posters exist is deluded.

WE. MUST. NEVER. HAVE. A. LIKE. BUTTON.

NEVER! Hmm[/quote]
ALL. OF. THIS!!

whenthebellsring · 05/04/2021 20:29

*and those who give them.

I swear I read that a few times before posting!Hmm

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 05/04/2021 20:29

The first person who writes a really, REALLY long, detailed, thoughtful response to the OP is going to break the thread. Grin

Am I going to try to be that person? Well...

It's an interesting point, OP, and I think several people have advanced some valid arguments both for and against the practice. I won't reiterate them here.

To properly address the issue, we first need to examine the etymology of the word 'this'. Wikipedia tells us that the word originates "[f]rom Middle English this, from Old English þis (neuter demonstrative), from North Sea Germanic base þa- "that", from Proto-Germanic þat, from Proto-Indo-European tód, extended form of demonstrative base to-; + North Sea Germanic definitive suffix -s, from Proto-Indo-European *só (“this, that”)."

So there's that.

Next, let's explore the origins and purpose of the website 'MumsNet'. Again, Wikipedia is our friend here.

Mumsnet was created by Justine Roberts who came up with the idea of a website to help parents pool information and advice following a disastrous first family holiday with her one-year-old twins. Once back in the UK, Roberts persuaded friends Carrie Longton and Steven Cassidy to help her build the site that is now regarded as one of the most influential women's sites in the UK.

In November 2009, the Prime Minister Gordon Brown, opposition leader David Cameron and many leading ministers took part in live webchats with Mumsnet users.

Mumsnet's 10th birthday party was hosted by Google UK at their London headquarters in March 2010. Guests included Ed Miliband and Steve Hilton, and both the then Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, and his wife Sarah Brown gave speeches. Gordon Brown referred to Mumsnet as one of the great British institutions. In May 2011 Roberts founded Gransnet, a sister site to Mumsnet for the over-50s.

Roberts, CEO, was named in the Media Guardian's 2010 power 100. In February 2013 Roberts and co-founder, Carrie Longton, were assessed as the 7th most powerful women in the United Kingdom by Woman's Hour on BBC Radio 4. Roberts was appointed Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) in the 2017 New Year Honours for services to the economy.

In 2018 Mumsnet had 1.3 billion page views from 119 million unique users, and revenue of £8.6 million.

In April 2020, Mumsnet announced a premium option.

Also of interest is the 'favourite biscuits' section:

David Cameron Oatcakes (Harrods brand)
Gordon Brown Did not answer (Easter Biscuit)
Nick Clegg Rich tea and Hob Nobs (greedy)
Ed Miliband Jaffa Cakes
Boris Johnson Chocolate Digestive (prick)
Nicola Sturgeon Tunnock's Caramel wafer
Nigel Farage Did not answer (prick)
Jeremy Corbyn Shortbread
John McDonnell Broken rich tea biscuits from his Mum's counter in BHS
Anna Soubry Ginger Nuts

But I think, ultimately, we need to consider the Talk Guidelines, which state:

No personal attacks
No posts that break the law, including hate speech of any kind
No trolling, misleading or deliberately inflammatory behaviour
No trollhunting
No spamming

Now, I think the practice you describe could not reasonably be described as a personal attack, hate speech, trolling or trollhunting.

'Spamming' is an interesting one. It is defined as 'sending the same message indiscriminately to (a large number of internet users)'. I think the key word here is 'indiscriminately'. If one were to quote a particular post, followed by the word 'This' on a large number of threads across MumsNet, then that would certainly be in breach of the Guidelines. However, I do not believe that quoting the same post on a single thread constitutes spamming, as the post would remain relevant and repeating it is not, therefore, indiscriminate.

But.... does the aforementioned practice (i.e. quoting a pp and then typing 'This') constitute deliberately inflammatory behaviour? Well, not ordinarily. However, IF someone were to start a thread professing their intense dislike of the aforementioned practice, and a number of posters chose to display the very same behaviour on the thread in question (perhaps by quoting a lengthy and detailed response in exactly the manner the OP finds most objectionable) then I think an argument could be made that the aforementioned practice does, in fact, breach the Talk Guidelines.

I do hope this helps.

Giantrooster · 05/04/2021 20:30

DrSbaitso
I won't name names, but atleast Anyfucker is to the point and don't wait round for her yes-sayers to support her.

And

littlepattilou has it
Yet according to you, the one who has the most 'likes' is RIGHT, and it 'settles the debate!'

Oh HELL no!

If posters can't form an opinion of their own, perhaps it would be better not to post or like.

Mumdiva99 · 05/04/2021 20:31

@PurpleWh1teGreen

But who would know what I'm nodding sagely to?

A nodding sagely emoji would be a very good thing though.

But with all the cross posts you might end up nodding sagely at the wrong person. God forbid you nod at someone you disagree with.....
DrSbaitso · 05/04/2021 20:31

I'm starting to think that the really vehement anti like button people are just worried that nobody will ever like anything they say. Given their fury and inability to read comments properly and in context, I can see why they're concerned.