Am I overreacting?

[Holyhonestyjj]

DP of 7 months was angry when we were having a disagreement a few months ago, he ended up punching a wall in his house. This really shocked me & I told him never to behave like that again.

On Friday night, we were having a disagreement (nothing major) but he claims I was interrupting him & wouldn’t listen to him. We were at my house. He picked up the remote control for my tv & threw it at the wall. It smashed beyond repair. He packed his things & left. I was stunned. Next day I get a text telling me he’s sorry for breaking the control, but I wouldn’t listen, I wound him up. He said he needed to be left alone for the day.

I told him he needed to see a therapist as that behaviour isn’t normal. He’s ignored everything I said. The next day he replied saying he’s been thinking all morning what to say and is coming up blank!

Stay a while longer op.. You could be me. Young and stupid. Holding a new baby while his df punches the wall to the side of my head. Saying I pushed him to the point of no return... Became his mantra. As did him smashing up our possessions..
Get bloody rid now op.

You can't fix him, OP..
He'll probably tell you about his hard life making him like this, always blames others, and you can help him. You can't.

7 months in with no children or financial ties to complicate matters even further?

Get the hell out.

Get rid of him right now.

Whenever I see that title I always think “I bet they’re under reacting” before I’ve even opened it. I was right, as ever.

This is physically abusive behaviour, followed by victim blaming and a lack of remorse. Guys a nutcase. Dump and run - ASAP.

I'm sorry I punched you in the face/ribs/back etc but you made me do it, you wind me, you don't listen, you're mental...blah to the fucking blah of abusive behaviour.
Dump him and don't look back.

You have to finish this now. Don’t question yourself or him anymore. Just end it. This will get much much worse and then you will be trapped and he will scare you, damage your property and hurt you physically. This is not an ‘If’ this is a ‘when’. You have a very strong insight into how this relationship will develop, you need to use that information now and remove yourself from the situation. He needs to find treatment for anger management but not related to the relationship continuing. Can you not already see the manipulation he has behaved so badly but it is your fault, he is coming up with nothing by way of explanation and he needs time alone until he can bear to see you again..and you are listening and waiting.

If you’re still together you’re under-reacting.

Massive red flag.

Dump.

What does it matter? I assume you've told him to fuck off so don't worry about it.

He’s ‘sorry but’ it was your fault?
This is how he reacts to a disagreement. You don’t want to find out how he behaves when it’s something bigger.

Time to get rid is now whilst he’s just a new boyfriend not when he throws things and punches when you are pregnant or with young children. Seriously just end it and don’t look back. He has shown you who he is.

I have never actually said the phrase LTB because it’s often so complicated and I think people need support to come to the conclusion themselves, without feeling judged.

But in your case, only 7months and 2 displays of violence like this, that he seems to have no insight into how out of order they are? Massive red flags. He is showing you what he can do and it will escalate. It may hurt for a short while to end but be much easier than years down the line with kids and injuries.

Bin him off. You don't need this abusive arsehole in your life.

Be grateful he has packed his things and left. He's shown you what he's capable of. Do not accept his pathetic excuse for an apology - it wasn't an apology, it was just a way to make you feel bad by telling you that you made him angry. If he has a key to your home get the locks changed asap and block him.

Overreacting?? Underreacting more like. Seven months and he’s already broken a wall and the remote. Give him a chance and he’ll break your face. Run for the hills.

This is not normal behaviour imo. Leave him before it escalates

Blaming his partner for his violent behaviour is a clear red flag. It's a dealbreaker imo.

If he is like this in the first 7 months, can you imagine what he will be like a year from now?

The hills are >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> that way OP.

Dump and run.

Tell him that whatever he has to say, you don't want to hear it, or from him, again.

Then block

Honestly don't think you can fix this after 7months call it a day .
Mates GFlwas like this couldn't control her temper broke a few things justified it by saying she hadn't hurt anyone.
She would stand and scream like a frustrated child she ended up breaking his nose .

What are you going to do OP?
Are you going to listen to the overall majority on here or are you going to listen to him?

Speaking as someone whose exH was like this, you need to end it now. He will not change his behaviour. I put up with it for years thinking if only I could change, then he wouldn't get angry with me.

He used to smash things up in a rage too, and apparently it was all my fault, because if I hadn't made him angry he wouldn't have done it.

It is not your responsibility to 'fix' him. Please don't even try.

What everyone else says. Leave. Or you'll end up living your life worrying about what next will trigger his violence.

Nope.

An ex boyfriend of mine punched a hole in my wall. A few months later he strangled me and bit my face in a drunken rage.

Please don’t waste your time trying to understand what makes a man like this behave the way he does. The answer is - it doesn’t matter, don’t stick around to find out how much worse it gets.