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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I overreacting?

140 replies

Holyhonestyjj · 05/04/2021 11:02

DP of 7 months was angry when we were having a disagreement a few months ago, he ended up punching a wall in his house. This really shocked me & I told him never to behave like that again.

On Friday night, we were having a disagreement (nothing major) but he claims I was interrupting him & wouldn’t listen to him. We were at my house. He picked up the remote control for my tv & threw it at the wall. It smashed beyond repair. He packed his things & left. I was stunned. Next day I get a text telling me he’s sorry for breaking the control, but I wouldn’t listen, I wound him up. He said he needed to be left alone for the day.

I told him he needed to see a therapist as that behaviour isn’t normal. He’s ignored everything I said. The next day he replied saying he’s been thinking all morning what to say and is coming up blank!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/04/2021 11:14

If I was you I would not continue the relationship unless he seeks some form of anger management

He's her boyfriend of only 7 months.

This relationship needs to end now.

AgentProvocateur · 05/04/2021 11:15

I presume he’s your ex-DP now?

ohfourfoxache · 05/04/2021 11:15

Run like fuck

Then run some more

dopeyduck · 05/04/2021 11:16

He's been violent twice in 7 months and now he's blaming you.

Yeah you need to leave him.

What a honeymoon period.

He's not the one and you definitely don't want DC around him.

MrsBungle · 05/04/2021 11:16

He’s showing you exactly what he’s like. If this is how he reacts over ‘minor’ disagreements imagine how he’d react over a more major disagreement. You’d be very unwise to continue this relationship.

AtrociousCircumstance · 05/04/2021 11:16

Actually the chances are much less than 1%, that he engages in a lifelong therapeutic commitment to rewiring his behaviours.

Leave OP.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 05/04/2021 11:16

You are WAY underreacting

mbosnz · 05/04/2021 11:17

I'm another saying you're underreacting.

He's escalating it, to the point of destruction of your property, he is blaming you for his appalling behaviour, he is not taking any responsibility or showing any remorse for his violent and threatening behaviour.

I'd be saying to you, if you were my daughter, sister, or friend, get the hell out, NOW.

Make like Usain Bolt away from this person. Whatever else he contributes to your life, it's not worth continuing involvement with someone who is already behaving in such a way. It will only get worse.

YoBeaches · 05/04/2021 11:17

Of course it was your fault. What gives you the right to disagree with him and make him so angry he looses his shit. What were you thinking?

Confused

Time to move on isn't it. The best thing that happened was that he took his stuff and left. Keep it that way.

ShadierThanaPalmTree · 05/04/2021 11:17

Good riddance to him! It's only been 7 months, he should still be on best behaviour. Most men don't show their violent streaks until years into the relationship. Please op, run!

thepeopleversuswork · 05/04/2021 11:17

You are underreacting. Massively.

There's no way back from this and you know what you have to do.

badatcrochet1996 · 05/04/2021 11:18

Op, you're under reacting.

I really mean this, get out of that relationship. Don't minimise it in your mind, say you've decided that behaviour is a deal breaker and you're done.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 05/04/2021 11:19

He would have been an ex after the wall incident. Not to mention the constant disagreements/arguments which a happy relationship rarely has imo.

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 05/04/2021 11:19

So he threw the remote at the wall and broke it but says it's your fault Hmm

There's a name for that op .....

Well luckily you don't live together so makes it easier to get rid.

Cheeky shit blaming you.

Shoxfordian · 05/04/2021 11:19

It’s only a matter of time before he hits you and tells you that’s your fault too

Dump him

HollowTalk · 05/04/2021 11:20

Oh god, I'd be terrified of him. Twice in seven months and he's blaming you. You know it will get much, much worse, don't you? End it now - you deserve someone lovely, not a violent man.

Roszie · 05/04/2021 11:21

It'll be your fault when he beat the shit out if you too

FannyChops · 05/04/2021 11:23

You are underreacting.

Tell him to never contact you again and block him.

Dobbyisahouseelf · 05/04/2021 11:25

Dump him pronto.

Throckmorton · 05/04/2021 11:26

Run for the hills. It's a wall and a remote now - in time it'll be you.

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 05/04/2021 11:27

When he hits you, which will happen, he'll blame you. You weren't listening. You made him do it. Run. Fast.

PoTheDog · 05/04/2021 11:27

In the first 7 months, he will still be on his "best behaviour". If this is best, then imagine what he will be like when he gets his feet properly under the table...

HeartsAndClubs · 05/04/2021 11:28

Get rid.

And if you’ve given him a key change the locks.

Whatisthisfuckery · 05/04/2021 11:31

What the rest of them are saying, get rid, immediately. No good will come of hanging round to see what he damages next.

Purplecatshopaholic · 05/04/2021 11:32

This is not normal. He needs to seek help. And you need to thank your lucky stars you dodged a bullet before things escalated. Hugs op, that’s must have been a hard thing to go through.

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