Fed up with everyone leaving London

[Arlington45]

My partner and I are both from London, both sets of parents are in fairly near areas to us. We have no intention of leaving London.

But so many people are. My son (6) keeps having to say goodbye to school friends. Is this going to mess him up, having no sense of security with friends sticking around? I hope at some point it will settle down but at the moment it feels like a mass exodus.

I don't feel pissed off with the people leaving, I get it. But I do feel fed up. AIBU?

Greengrey, yeah free movement eh? It's a right pisser

Are people really leaving London in droves though? If so, who is buying their houses?

Yabu kids are adaptable, he will be fine. People will move out of London for all sorts of reasons and for a lot of people covid has highlighted that they really don't want to be at the other end of the country away from family. I don't think all companies will have staff back in offices full time but think there will still be an expectation that you show face at least once a week.

@ProfessorPootle

My family have lived in SW London for generations and I was always fed up with people moving here in their 20s, setting up home here, pushing up the house prices so locals can’t afford to buy then selling up and shipping back to their home towns where they can then afford something much bigger than here. I wish we had a similar scheme in London where housing is reserved for locals as in parts of Cornwall and Devon, we were in our late 30s before we could buy here (an executor sale, so completely run down in a bad area for schools).

Very similar to me but East London. I grew up on the Isle of Dogs when we had one bus route and nobody outside the island wanted to move there. But we had a great community as everyone knew everyone. Then Canary Wharf was built. Suddenly none of us could afford the live there and the younger generation had to move away. Many now live outside London including myself. The community all but disappeared. And not many of the locals were offered long term jobs in Canary Wharf either. Whilst I'm very happy where we are now, I'm sad that the community that has been there for generations has been decimated so much.

That's just part and parcel of city living, isnt it? Especially once people start having children. City life is expensive and people often prioritise space over amenities.

I would imagine the younger generation are buying the houses of people moving out. Those with London-based careers, maybe before starting families. It is most likely something of a cycle. Yes, it's increasingly expensive, but the jobs are there, often well paid.

Same in our corner of north London but rather them than me. I love living here and when things start to open up again it will far less busy because everyone's moved out! So it's a win-win. I also think some people are going to come unstuck if their firms decide remote working isn't what they want to advocate in the long term. Some people are going to be stuck with really long commutes.

I am genuinely surprised at all of the London love in this thread.

Whenever I have stayed with friends there the evening follows the same formula - either queue for half an hour for a restaurant, or if they've been able to book it, get crammed in.

Spend way too much money on a mediocre meal that everyone is swearing is AmAzInG or the next big thing!!!

Go to the pub/bar, try to find a place that hasn't spilled out onto the street, pay £10 for a shit glass of wine.

The only thing I do like about London is the museums and the buzz of energy. Having said that, we do have some historic and local art and culture, and the people are really friendly and up for a laugh. It's very diverse too - you'd be hard-pressed to find social groups with only one race, ethnicity, culture, nationality, religion etc - but you don't get bogged down by the weird social justice naval gazing I seem to pick up in London. Everyone's just sound.

I live in Birmingham and swear down the food is better here, we have a huge variety of excellent cocktail, gin, wine and beer bars and don't have to go into debt to enjoy them.

I even have a chance at being able to buy a house with a garden in a nice area.

Please don't move here though, you'll ruin it ;)

Not from London but have lived on the outskirts. We have a couple of tube station and other stations if we need to get in for the day. One dc went to school in London. They both couldn’t think of living away from London because they had so much freedom and things to do growing up.
There were a few who moved out when dc were in primary school. They came back a few years later

Another thing I've picked up - is that everyone mixes in class groups in Brum. You could be friends with a builder and a surgeon and they'd mix together too. In London it depends who I'm staying with, but people generally stick to their own social class. It's pretty weird visiting my successful friend and being the provincial one with a job that no one thinks much about.

@BeagleEagle London is fabulous. Your friends however seem a bit clueless, sorry.

I have lived near Birmingham. In one if the villages. I don’t think I spoke to anyone for years.
I think village living is ok if you go to the church, have children or like to go to the pub. Outside of that there is little to do especially if you are woman who isn’t interested in books/knitting or cooking.Add to that being the only “immigrant” in the village and it becomes very linely

[quote Pigtailsandall]@BeagleEagle London is fabulous. Your friends however seem a bit clueless, sorry.[/quote]
I remember going to a house party where the host was sharing a room in the house with her boyfriend - she was paying £1700 a month - for a room. Same sized house here I'd pay £900 for the whole house. I met someone there who asked me about myself. Social worker in Birmingham. Her? Nurse in London. I said oh so we've both seen some stuff then.

No - you couldn't POSSIBLY compare situations. I'm a NURSE in LONDON. I deal with the real shit.. Wow, okay.

That sort of thing happens a lot. I have friends who have moved there for work, who are honest about the attitude towards 'provincials' and how 'the north' is anywhere above Watford Gap.

I have had yet to access the 'fabulous' part. I have seen dirty, cramped, snobby, expensive and chaotic.

@BeagleEagle

I am genuinely surprised at all of the London love in this thread.

Whenever I have stayed with friends there the evening follows the same formula - either queue for half an hour for a restaurant, or if they've been able to book it, get crammed in.

Spend way too much money on a mediocre meal that everyone is swearing is AmAzInG or the next big thing!!!

Go to the pub/bar, try to find a place that hasn't spilled out onto the street, pay £10 for a shit glass of wine.

The only thing I do like about London is the museums and the buzz of energy. Having said that, we do have some historic and local art and culture, and the people are really friendly and up for a laugh. It's very diverse too - you'd be hard-pressed to find social groups with only one race, ethnicity, culture, nationality, religion etc - but you don't get bogged down by the weird social justice naval gazing I seem to pick up in London. Everyone's just sound.

I live in Birmingham and swear down the food is better here, we have a huge variety of excellent cocktail, gin, wine and beer bars and don't have to go into debt to enjoy them.

I even have a chance at being able to buy a house with a garden in a nice area.

Please don't move here though, you'll ruin it ;)

This has not been my experience of London at all! I've lived here nearly 20 years. All the Londoners I know are far too impatient to queue for dinner and would opt for the equally award winning restaurant down the road rather than join a queue. On the other hand I've seen queues for pizza express in provincial towns on Saturday nights.

There are definitely down sides to living in London. But queuing for restaurants isn't one.

@Bythemillpond

I have lived near Birmingham. In one if the villages. I don’t think I spoke to anyone for years. I think village living is ok if you go to the church, have children or like to go to the pub. Outside of that there is little to do especially if you are woman who isn’t interested in books/knitting or cooking.Add to that being the only “immigrant” in the village and it becomes very linely

Yeah many of the villages are like brexit britain on steroids. Once went to a wedding at the jinney ring and stopped in whatever pub we could find. Whole pub turned around and stared at us. Asian boyfriend said he felt the thing he's often felt going into the 'wrong pub'. Yikes.

A friend from Droitwich said it's nice there? I prefer city living.

In the last two years 5 friends have left for Essex, Gloucestershire, Sussex and one has moved back to South America.

A pandemic plus me making no effort as I didn’t really need to means I have very few people left locally (do have parents though and best pal I known since 4yo)

All of these people have moved either to be near to parents or parents have followed. Mine have no intention of leaving 🤣

This last 6 months 10 houses are selling/sold up my street. Mine included so as I rent I have to now move!

@BeagleEagle

I am genuinely surprised at all of the London love in this thread.

Whenever I have stayed with friends there the evening follows the same formula - either queue for half an hour for a restaurant, or if they've been able to book it, get crammed in.

Spend way too much money on a mediocre meal that everyone is swearing is AmAzInG or the next big thing!!!

Go to the pub/bar, try to find a place that hasn't spilled out onto the street, pay £10 for a shit glass of wine.

The only thing I do like about London is the museums and the buzz of energy. Having said that, we do have some historic and local art and culture, and the people are really friendly and up for a laugh. It's very diverse too - you'd be hard-pressed to find social groups with only one race, ethnicity, culture, nationality, religion etc - but you don't get bogged down by the weird social justice naval gazing I seem to pick up in London. Everyone's just sound.

I live in Birmingham and swear down the food is better here, we have a huge variety of excellent cocktail, gin, wine and beer bars and don't have to go into debt to enjoy them.

I even have a chance at being able to buy a house with a garden in a nice area.

Please don't move here though, you'll ruin it ;)

Whereabouts did your friends take you out in London? Because it sounds like it was somewhere touristy in the centre. I live in north London where there are pockets of neighbourhoods with brilliant restaurants you don't need to queue outside for. Also, this comment: you don't get bogged down by the weird social justice naval gazing I seem to pick up in London. Wow. Small minded much?

I’ve lived in London and Birmingham and I loved both. Birmingham can be amazing and I miss visiting there over the last year. I had to leave London because we couldn’t afford to live there with one full time and part time salary when we had children. I agree with those that say you have to be v. rich or on benefits. Through work I met many people on benefits and the social housing can be very poor. Private renting is very tenuous in terms of stability so we were forced out really. Miss it so much

" All the Londoners I know are far too impatient to queue for dinner and would opt for the equally award winning restaurant down the road rather than join a queue. On the other hand I've seen queues for pizza express in provincial towns on Saturday nights."

The snobbishness is surfacing! Provincial towns with Pizza Express! Award-winning restaurants! Oy. The only towns I've known where people would queue for a pizza express are commuter belt. Usually in 'provincial towns' you'd get at least one or two local restaurants run by someone born and bred there. They wouldn't win any awards because guardian food critics rarely bother to try them out. Big cities though - Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Leeds.. you'll see lots of wonderful eats. You more often find out by word of mouth than the papers but the food is brilliant.

London got too greedy, it was bound to happen at some point.

It's been similar for years - 10 years ago half the nursery mum's were considering local schools, the rest all hoping their moves out of London would go through in time. It made a bit split in local friends.

By the time the kids were 7 or so, the classes were mostly stable with few changes. Some families moved back to London after a few years.

I wouldn't object to London being less crowded, so if people want to move away, fine by me.

"Whereabouts did your friends take you out in London? Because it sounds like it was somewhere touristy in the centre. I live in north London where there are pockets of neighbourhoods with brilliant restaurants you don't need to queue outside for."

I've been many times with different friends and different experiences and never had a meal in London that I remember as being particularly great.

"Also, this comment: you don't get bogged down by the weird social justice naval gazing I seem to pick up in London. Wow. Small minded much?"

The opposite. People know what racism is, they know to say racism when they see it and they know to not do it. However, at the same time you don't end up with as many terrified people waxing lyrical about critical race theory non-stop when you're trying to enjoy yourself. Conversations are there, they're just not so intense and obsessive.

This always happens - young people move there for their careers or grow up there - then have kids and find out what a better quality of life they can have elsewhere.

@BeagleEagle

" All the Londoners I know are far too impatient to queue for dinner and would opt for the equally award winning restaurant down the road rather than join a queue. On the other hand I've seen queues for pizza express in provincial towns on Saturday nights."

The snobbishness is surfacing! Provincial towns with Pizza Express! Award-winning restaurants! Oy. The only towns I've known where people would queue for a pizza express are commuter belt. Usually in 'provincial towns' you'd get at least one or two local restaurants run by someone born and bred there. They wouldn't win any awards because guardian food critics rarely bother to try them out. Big cities though - Manchester, Birmingham, Liverpool, Leeds.. you'll see lots of wonderful eats. You more often find out by word of mouth than the papers but the food is brilliant.

You just spent lines of text telling me my home was shit and naval gazing but I'm the snob? Ok.

I have lived in other towns in the UK - including Birmingham actually - and the one thing they have that is different from London is a certainty of their own superiority. It's very excluding actually.

The opposite. People know what racism is, they know to say racism when they see it and they know to not do it. However, at the same time you don't end up with as many terrified people waxing lyrical about critical race theory non-stop when you're trying to enjoy yourself. Conversations are there, they're just not so intense and obsessive.

I don't recognise anyone in London as being terrified, intense and obsessive about this. It must be the people you hang out with!