Fed up with everyone leaving London

[Arlington45]

My partner and I are both from London, both sets of parents are in fairly near areas to us. We have no intention of leaving London.

But so many people are. My son (6) keeps having to say goodbye to school friends. Is this going to mess him up, having no sense of security with friends sticking around? I hope at some point it will settle down but at the moment it feels like a mass exodus.

I don't feel pissed off with the people leaving, I get it. But I do feel fed up. AIBU?

I don’t blame people for wanting to move out. YABU for expecting people to stay because you want them to.

I live in a small Yorkshire village, 2 miles from a station with a direct 2 hour train to London. My friend has her house up for sale and about half the viewers are coming from London. On my little lane, 2 families have moved in from London this past year that I know of.

I can only think they have been swayed being able to buy a huge house for 500k and WFH. But what happens when they are wanted back in the office? Surely WFH is not is not permanent for everybody for ever?

With regards to your concern, OP, all 3 of my DC have had about half their classmates change from reception to yr 6, with nothing to with London. People move around a lot in general. I don't think it's anything to worry about.

I know what you mean OP.

I've lived in London for most of my life, love it here, have no intention of leaving.

I can see on paper the reasons for wanting to leave: more space, more bang for your buck, property wise, less pollution.

But a lot of lifelong city-dwellers idolise country life and in practice it rarely matches up to the reality (and I have lived in the countryside): the litany of reasons you hear for moving out to the countryside rarely stand up to scrutiny: smaller communities are often quite insular, hostile to outsiders -- you have to have lived somewhere for 20 years before you're considered "one of us" and people often can't be arsed making friends. And the lack ethnic diversity would be difficult for me as I have a mixed race child. The alleged "safety" for kids doesn't really stand up either. It may be safer for young children to play out on streets but small seaside communities are awash with drugs and teenagers are usually bored stupid in the countryside and need endlessly ferrying around. Small towns are not geared to teenagers.

There are certainly lots of lovely towns outside London and you can have a great life in many of those. But I find the kneejerk assumption that moving to the countryside is just what you do because you have kids a bit depressing.

@catspider

This is the Governments fault. The only people who can afford to live in London are the very rich and those who get their rent paid for by benefits or have a council home. Everyone else has to leave if they want any kind of security.

How is it the government’s fault? I see this said a few times and not being an economist, I don’t understand how it is he governments fault rather than a capitalist supply and demand issue? Would appreciate some one explaining (in simple terms)

I think I'll have only one friend left from the couple of groups of friends I made in playgroup/ preschool days next year. Everyone else has moved out. A combination of moving for primary/ secondary/ wanting to get out of London/ wanting more space.

House prices are also insane and the character of the area has changed completely - I see a bit difference in the jobs of parents in my Y6 class and my Y1 class. And, to be honest, if we put our heads over our hearts (I love my local area) we'd be moving as well.

people have always moved in and out of cities more than in and out of villages or market towns we live reasonably near a large naval base and some move in and out every 2-3 years
I live rurally but I can see that city living offers some advantages, the ease of public transport and frequency more choice on your doorstep move diverse more opportunity for careers promotion etc ( for us the city is a day trip and we can't go right now because of covid) but also in general it is more crowded and more expensive and for many couples with 2 children there comes a point when you see yourself stretched for a 2 bed house / flat with a girl and a boy approaching teens and you need 3 beds but can't afford it and see you can get a house twice as big for 2/3rds of the price elsewhere it can become a bit of a no brainer even if a reluctant no brainer
housing is too expensive; a couple who are for example are well established nurse and teacher ( ie not qualified yesterday or on probation but not a head teacher either) should be able to buy a 2-3 bedroom house or flat but in some cities they can't this type of house can cost 600K in one place and just under 100K somewhere else. while wages are more in some places they are not 6 times in the place where house prices are 6 times more, however in places with cheaper housing there is less choice in employment wages are generally lower but you might be able to live better in some places on 30k than you can elsewhere on 50K becuase of cost of living variables

Yabu massively so. We had to leave London because the cost of accommodation is rediculouly high and we couldn't afford to buy out own home. We have good jobs too.

Even if this is light hearted it's really self involved.

I brought my children up in Zone 4. Spacious detached house, big garden, excellent schools. London isn't all flats, grime and traffic. I live in Zone 6 now, lovely country side just up the road. Property prices are high, but they are in lots of attractive towns in the south east. I grew up in a small village in Kent. I wouldn't want to live like that again.

Covid has encouraged people to move out of cities to houses in the countryside,with gardens etc.

Also, it may be a stage-of-life move also. If the children are six, maybe they’re moving to the next stage house, before the dc enters junior school. I had a few friends who moved around that time, and that was in a south -east town, not London.

Also, once one or two decide to move, it gives that idea to other people, so they start looking around, and then move.

I live in London and there has always been an exodus out of London by friends, usually at key points in children's education. Before starting school, Y2 just before KS2 begins and Y5 in advance of secondary school transfer are all really common.

Most people tend to move as they perceive elsewhere to be safer and want a more rural idyll. It works for some people but you also get people who realise it's not what they anticipated and want to move back but are priced out.

I always wanted to move out but DH is born and bred in London and did not want to move as his career is very London-centric. Now my teens and young adult children are older they are delighted we didn't move. They love having easy access to everything on offer in London and are phased by nothing. Also, now the children are mostly grown up, we can fully enjoy going out more.

YANBU in as much as it affects you negatively. But there are plus points. House prices will come down hopefully making it a bit more affordable. Commutes less crowded. But if people are now working from home they don't need to bè near work. And if shops cafes restaurants at all closed what's the point in living in a city.,

@MrsExpo

Personally, I can't say I blame them. London is overcrowded, ridiculously expensive and generally pretty unpleasant in my experience. Every time I go there, I cant wait to leave.

Exactly. Most people are only there because that's where the decent jobs are. If you don't "need" to live in/near London to get a decent job, then people don't need to be there. We've had a couple of decades of London sucking people in because there are few decent jobs in the regions. That's obviously going to reverse now.

@Viviennemary

YANBU in as much as it affects you negatively. But there are plus points. House prices will come down hopefully making it a bit more affordable. Commutes less crowded. But if people are now working from home they don't need to bè near work. And if shops cafes restaurants at all closed what's the point in living in a city.,

Commutes won't be less crowded because there'll be a reduction in bus/tube/train services.

I guess a lot of people are thinking even when Covid is over they will only have to go into the office twice a week max.

Which means s Londoner could get a cheaper house in say the midlands and just have to put up with a long commute twice a week (or less).

I live elsewhere (we left London when DC1 was two, as we couldn't afford a house there). IME this isn't just a London thing, although it might be a city thing.

Each of my DC has seen a close friend relocate, and a few other classmates move, during the primary years. IME families tend to want to get any big moves done well ahead of having to choose secondary schools (or in some case move for secondary schools) in year 6, and it all settles down by year 5 at the latest.

If anyone in the country (or world!) can apply for a London job, could this lead to a crash in London salaries?

@hennybeans

I live in a small Yorkshire village, 2 miles from a station with a direct 2 hour train to London. My friend has her house up for sale and about half the viewers are coming from London. On my little lane, 2 families have moved in from London this past year that I know of.

I can only think they have been swayed being able to buy a huge house for 500k and WFH. But what happens when they are wanted back in the office? Surely WFH is not is not permanent for everybody for ever?

With regards to your concern, OP, all 3 of my DC have had about half their classmates change from reception to yr 6, with nothing to with London. People move around a lot in general. I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Higher wages will also come down in the long term. Employers only have to pay more in London because they need to attract staff to live there, who have to pay inflated housing costs. As time passes, firms won't need to pay the "London weighting" to people not actually living in London.

This is the Governments fault. The only people who can afford to live in London are the very rich and those who get their rent paid for by benefits or have a council home. Everyone else has to leave if they want any kind of security.

This.

Also, the government should revise why people not working and on benefits have to live in such an expensive city. The taxpayers on the other hand do not get much in return out of the current system. Middle class are the most affected.

Personally I'm pissed off with whinging londoners in the supermarket, not distancing and loudly proclaiming there's no decent deli in town, they don't have some fancy cut of beef or a particularly expensive bottle of wine and that our Waitrose isn't as good

I'm surprised about this. I can't imagine anyone not realising that they would need to rely more on online luxury suppliers if they move out of London. Totally unrealistic to be complaining if they were expecting Waitrose or any other average supermarket to fill that need.

I lived in London but left before having kids, moved to a small town. Don’t regret it at all. Lots of the kids here keep leaving and moving back to London - that’s been tough on my kids, but tbh that’s a normal part of life. People will move to where they feel they’ll get the best quality of life.

My family have lived in SW London for generations and I was always fed up with people moving here in their 20s, setting up home here, pushing up the house prices so locals can’t afford to buy then selling up and shipping back to their home towns where they can then afford something much bigger than here. I wish we had a similar scheme in London where housing is reserved for locals as in parts of Cornwall and Devon, we were in our late 30s before we could buy here (an executor sale, so completely run down in a bad area for schools).

YANBU but people who don’t live here and haven’t experienced it themselves are unlikely to understand. We are literally the only people in our entire circle of friends who are still here. Everyone else has moved back to continent or the suburbs.

I couldn't wait to leave the south east, I just didn't want to leave my secure job but I had every intention of leaving when I retired.
Thanks to NHS staff leaving a whole load of new jobs my grade came up in the west country so I jumped at the chance and it's been every bit as wonderful as I thought it would be.
i don't blame them.

A return to more Office based work won’t be happening anytime soon.

This is the nice bit after a wave I’m afraid.

No longer paying a huge mortgage for a horrible run down rabbit hutch, I now own my own chocolate box cottage and contributing to the local area.