Fed up with everyone leaving London

[Arlington45]

My partner and I are both from London, both sets of parents are in fairly near areas to us. We have no intention of leaving London.

But so many people are. My son (6) keeps having to say goodbye to school friends. Is this going to mess him up, having no sense of security with friends sticking around? I hope at some point it will settle down but at the moment it feels like a mass exodus.

I don't feel pissed off with the people leaving, I get it. But I do feel fed up. AIBU?

userblahlotsofnumbers - I think there is an element of wishful thinking there. Many industries pay highly for expertise - that will not change.

There are also many jobs that, by their very nature, have to be done in person. That will also not change. I think there will be some degree of 'reset' but not as much as people are hoping for. You may be able to get a 5-bed semi elsewhere for the equivalent of a 1 bed flat in London but you will have to make compromises to your lifestyle and they're not always positive.

@ThePlantsitter

Honestly it always was a feature of bringing kids up in London. I'm know it's a torrent of people just now but it will settle down to the normal slow seepage again I'm sure.

This is absolutely true. People start families in London, then buy bigger houses elsewhere. Ten years ago we had the same issue of our dd’s having to say goodbye to friends, off to Stroud, Kent, etc.

I left London in 2013. The place I was born in (Newham) is a shithole and I didn’t want my kids going to the secondary schools there. Full of crime and grime.
I go back usually a few times a year to visit my nan and other family and it looks like it’s got worse, so moving was the best thing for us

@Thewiseoneincognito

A return to more Office based work won’t be happening anytime soon.

This is the nice bit after a wave I’m afraid.

PWC accountants have said they're moving to a system of 2 or 3 days in the office and 2 or 3 days at home. WFH doesn't suit everyone, especially younger/trainee staff who need more experienced people around them to train/supervise them.

When ds was born more than 2t years ago, I started with six good friends in London at the same stage. By the time he was 2, only one couple were still in London.

The DC's primary usually only had six of the original intake by year 6: half moved out of London due to poor secondary schools and half moved their children to the independent sector from about age 7.

YANBU but you can't stop it.

Also, from a more positive angle, changing friendships can develop a sense of resilience to change in children, rather than everything always being the same. Life does change a lot and children who are comfortable with change and used to it will fare better in the future.

I understand that people might choose going forward to live a little further out if they do not need to be in the office five days a week. However, London is a fine place to live, and when it has all the theatres, cinemas, restaurants and other things open I do not think people will be quite so keen to leave. Also, whilst I am sure that five day office working has gone, most of us will still be in an office three to four days a week and this will not change in my view.

Many people leave London because they can buy bigger houses for less. However London has so much to offer! It is a shame your son is losing friends but that's life, there are plenty who will stick around.

If it's any consolation, the same thing has been happening in New York.

PWC accountants have said they're moving to a system of 2 or 3 days in the office and 2 or 3 days at home. WFH doesn't suit everyone, especially younger/trainee staff who need more experienced people around them to train/supervise them.

PWC has a large trainee intake each year. There is plenty of learning that can be done online but lots of the softer skills are better taught in person and working closely with others, especially for those who have never had a professional job. That's probably where the 2 - 3 days comes from.

DH is applying for jobs at the moment and his work can easily be done remotely. However, for various reasons, he would prefer to be at least 3 days in the office. Every single job he has applied for has said this will not be a problem and they still intend to have an office presence post covid.

WFH is fine in a well established, mature environment but recruitment, training, development, performance issues are difficult to manage on a remote basis in the long term. There will be a degree of compromise and more home working but office based working will increase in time. Rents will reduce to encourage businesses to go back in, there is talk of part time season tickets for travel. As with everything there will be creative ways to get the city centres back up and running even if they take on a different form e.g. more focus on people living there rather than business.
I also think there will be a degree of FOMO once people start to drift in to work and people will want the distinction between home and work again. Younger people will want to live in the cities as they have done in the past once bars, restaurants, concerts etc get going again. My DC have both said they don’t want to stay here and will look to move where there is more going on.

Pandemic aside, you could set your watch and time of the year, by the DFL's, all welcome.

Well............ apart from the arsehole who complained about the town hall bells being rung at night, the town council stopped them without any consultation with the town residents, there was uproar. They had been ringing for 146 years.

They soon changed it back, but for quite a while afterwards DFL's were welcomed with a degree of suspicion (is too strong a word for it) but told that they had bought into our lives, not the other way around.

I’m in Surrey and loads are people are moving here from London. Affecting house market

Houses in my parents village have been selling in under a week. Normally it’s years.

It is nothing new and always happened. We moved out of London in the 1970s though with the job moving.

If people can wfh even part of the time and not be travelling to an office each day, more likely to happen. I hope OP that your son can develop resilience and adapt to change, and please be supportive and not make him feel sad.

If it evens up house prices/rents and means that people such as NHS workers and the police are able to afford somewhere to live nearer to work, at least there will be some positives.

I'm sick of them leaving London and moving here !

Pushing up the house prices and clogging up the schools!!

I left London once I had my children, over priced, over populated, over rated.

I sold my 1 bed flat in a affluent part of North London and we brought a 4 bed house in a semi rural location. Best thing we ever done. This was 6 years ago and I don't miss London at all!

I hope that a better work-pay balance evolves between the big cities and the regions; it needs to. And I am sure employers will be reluctant to pay London weighting allowances to staff not living in London.

Surely that's not new?
I was born and raised in Paris and very few of my friends/family/friends of my parents are still in Paris now. I'm abroad but the vast majority have simply moved to smaller cities for a better lifestyle. Seems sensible to me. I still love Paris (I don't love London though, lived there 2yrs, more than enough!)and wouldn't mind going back but I'm happy in the North West as well in a smaller town.

I think it’s always been a bit like that. Once you start having children your life changes : what’s the point in paying a premium to be 20 mins from some of the finest restaurants / museums/ pubs in the world when in reality you just spend every Saturday standing with a cup of tea at yet another soft play party!

hennybeans huge Yorkshire fans here but Im surprised you think so many are coming up to WFH. We've always found the wifi/4G signal absolutely appalling in Yorkshire. DH has tried to WFH rather than taking huge chunks of holiday when we visit, but has since given up with that as the connectivity is just so poor in comparison to the South East.

It’s a thing and has been for generations. But SM makes it better. I can name the four BFF I lost for ever when I was in primary school well outside London almost 50 years ago amd the families moved away. It really was profound loss and as a result I’m quite unattached to friends. I love them but I notice I’m not as bonded as most are. My DC, schooled in London, have friends from pre primary, but I don’t think one of them had a friend from reception or primary to VI Form.

I know quite a number of people who left London, most having had a longish-term plan in place to do so. They took quite large amounts of equity with them and moved to places like Dorset. Bought large houses, found good state schools for their children, and have had, by their accounts, a better quality of life. For some people, London seems to be a stage in their lives, careers and then, if they can, they move on.

@blueangel19
Also, the government should revise why people not working and on benefits have to live in such an expensive city.

Don't worry. Housing benefit doesn't actually cover rent in London so many of those 'living off benefits' are either living in a shit, damp bedsit, have already been shipped off the deprived coastal towns or are disabled (with all their support networks/treatment teams nearby) but I am sure your desire to socially cleanse the place of the vulnerable and undesirable will continue apace under this government and you shall get what you desire. Hopefully they'll evict the disabled and poor from the remaining council houses and sell the lot off to the deserving and virtuous middle classes.

God, human beings are depressing.
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