Fed up with everyone leaving London

[Arlington45]

My partner and I are both from London, both sets of parents are in fairly near areas to us. We have no intention of leaving London.

But so many people are. My son (6) keeps having to say goodbye to school friends. Is this going to mess him up, having no sense of security with friends sticking around? I hope at some point it will settle down but at the moment it feels like a mass exodus.

I don't feel pissed off with the people leaving, I get it. But I do feel fed up. AIBU?

@BeagleEagle I'm sorry but if your friends are paying 1700 for a room and queueing outside restaurants they sound really clueless about London and haven't given you a good impression!

I would take you to a 'normal' part of London like Brixton swerving the new hipster spots get some food in the markets, spend the afternoon in the park, then go to a nice local pub, the Jamaican family restaurant, or the trendy restaurant (that's been booked!)

I bet if you started a thread like 'tell me where to go in London so that I'll like it' you would gets loads of great ideas.

I think there's always been an outward flow of people with children from London. But people are starting to realise that time is likely to be called on a lot of WFH. An estate agent I know in Devon has told me that having had a lot of houses go under offer, there's been a lot of cold feet all of a sudden, with deals collapsing left, right and centre.

@LoudestCat14 our eldest two went to a standard/ slightly failing London comp and actually did very well. It’s what you make of it.
I agree a lot of it is more turning your nose up at the demographic than educational problems

I could never understand why people moved away . Surely they didn’t expect this pandemic would last forever and must have realised at some point they would be back in the office for a few days per week.
Having to have a place in London or shelling out for a hotel a few nights per week plus the train fares.
The cost must be prohibitive. I see a really big boomerang back to London. If you work in London how can you afford to live in a far flung area of the U.K.
Whilst trains might get you into London in record speed the cost must be significant if you have to do that 3 times per week

Leaving London and buying a farm was the best thing I ever did.

Winterwoollies but did you have to go back to London to work 3 days per week.

I’m in zone 2/3 London and yes there’s been a bit of an exodus but nothing dramatic. A small handful leaving in both DC’s classes. Just as many people moving within London (slightly further out for a bigger garden) as out of it.

Personally I think a lot of those who have left London would have gone at some point anyway, it was just accelerated by covid. So longer term there won’t be much difference demographically.

Of course I’m sad to see friends go, but if they are close friends then the chances are we will go and visit them/them us. And bluntly if things get a little bit less crowded and competitive, that’s a very good thing for those of us who are staying.

I can't blame them, I wouldn't like to bring children up in a vast, congested, built up city either

@LoudestCat14 i definitely don't find that south of river... you have to push London boundaries. which borough are you in? I want to stay this side to be near ageing parents. North - i guess there's schools like Fortismere - not exactly cheap to buy a 3/4 bed house with garden in Finchley too?

@Oilpyi where do you see London families moving to for secondary schools or where are you planning/have gone yourself?

I agree @minipie those that have left probably would have gone in the next couple of years anyway and if that means less competition for secondary places I am all for it.

@MammaSchwifty

I can't blame them, I wouldn't like to bring children up in a vast, congested, built up city either

If all the temporary Londoners continue to leave, it will no longer be congested or built up.

@Bythemillpond

Winterwoollies but did you have to go back to London to work 3 days per week.

I do work in the city regularly. The farm is not actually my source of income. I don’t have to go back every week but I do really regularly and for 2/3 days at a time. Sometimes I stay, often I drive. Not living in London makes me enjoy London more. And being in London makes me love my rural home with a passion. Best of both.

@MimiPigeon

People used to live in London for work. Now it’s easier to work remotely so there’s no reason to stay in London any more.

Some people are from London. They have family there.

I don't recognise this 'only a handful of decent London comps'! In my borough there's 30 secondaries and only one is the one people try to avoid. At least a third are highly desirable and the rest I hear arent bad. Extra money got pumped into London schools 10-20 years ago and we're reaping the benefits. People talking about 'crap' schools are usually defending their own decisions to go private or move from London - fair enough but you don't have to insult everyone who makes different decisions!

I have to admit I chose to move to London after graduating 25 years ago, when safety for someone queer was my main consideration after a couple hate incidents. I considered London, Manchester or Edinburgh then. Now I'd equally happily pick Birmingham, Leicester, Sheffield and consider other cities, too. Even my home town in Surrey is more diverse than it was - when I grew up the Asian-owned corner shop and curry house staff commuted from Southall and people still pointed and laughed at anyone not white. Now there's a distinct number of non-white people happily living there. Most places are mostly improving.

Our school has been inundated with new pupils in the past year - people moving out of London. It’s impossible to buy or rent a house here at the moment.
But it will settle down. The families I know who have left London were all going to leave in the next few years anyway. Covid just prompted them to do it earlier than planned.

I’m not leaving OP and I don’t know anyone else who is either, bar a really good friend who moved to Surrey last year but was always planning to do that. We’re in zone 3 right now and I am planning how to move into zone 2 next year! Myself DH and our 4 DDs are all born and bred Londoners, we won’t be going anywhere!

The way you’re feeling isn’t unreasonable but I have sons and left London for that reason only.

I see since I left 4 years ago things have got 10 times worse and I can’t think of much worse than raising boys there, scared if they would make it back from school every day.

My eldest went to a slightly failing diverse comp in London - did well - degree, masters, and now has a great job. I have since moved to a grammar school area on the Kent coast. The comps in London perform better than the high schools here. Getting into a grammar schools grows more competitive by the year - part of the reason for that is so many people have moved here (numbers gone through roof in the past year) and most people tutor their children to within an inch of their lives for at least a year before the entrance test - consequently the pass mark is rising. I would not move out of London because of the schools - they have more pumped into them.

Saddened to see so much stereotyping going on in response to this post. Is it so difficult just to recognise that different people want different things. It doesn’t make London a bad place to live, not suitable for children, full of the rich and those on benefits only, bad schools etc. I have brought up 2 children right in the centre of London. They were not disadvantaged and would be the first people to tell you so. But I recognise for some they prefer to bring up their children in a more suburban/country surrounding. Neither is right, neither is wrong. They are just different and it would be nice to see choice respected and not vilified.

Leafy London suburb in zone 3 here with excellent state schools (both primary & secondary) and a great atmosphere for bringing up kids. Great community feel, a lot of outdoor space etc. There isn't much movement here - maybe the odd one here and there but overall people tend to stay put. Some move just slightly up the road where prices are cheaper once children are settled in their school.

This is very different to the more deprived Zone 3 area close by where I lived when having DC1. Virtually all the baby friends I made where gone within a year or two - including ourselves. So I think in London it also depends on the area and on the budget.

@Moomin12345

Thank the government for ever rising house prices.

In what way is it a he governments fault ? House prices in London have always been sky high, especially With foreign nationals buying up and not even living in then , just waiting for the price to rise.

I think this has always been a thing...happened to me when I was growing up and we hit high school age. My friends that all settled there after uni all upped and left to be able to buy a house and/or afford a second child and the few people I know who are still there tend to have an eye on houses elsewhere to see what comes up

YANBU to be fed up. I was too. Now I'm one who's leaving London, and if you'd asked me a few years ago I'd have said never. But we can get a big 4 bed with a huge garden for far less than the tiny 2 bed flat with no outside space we're in right now. Sad for the kids to leave their friends, but so many have left and will leave it doesn't seem like a reason to stay.

My family have lived in London since the 1600’s. So proper London people but we are the only ones left. Reason is house prices. I’ve seen a huge turnover of pupils in my class and my children’s, much bigger then when I was a kid and mum says the same. Brexit saw off a lot of lovely families that no longer felt welcome here. The rest that left were because their family grew and they couldn’t afford a bigger house here so moved further out. We have very few friends still here, again had kids and couldn’t afford the hone they wanted so moved. We’re also having the same issue with staff now and the commute is too long. If something isn’t done about house prices then we’ll have a huge issue with school staff, nurses, shop workers etc as the wages will make it impossible to live here.
I love London, I love how mixed it is, I love walking down the high street or being on public transport and hearing multiple languages, I love the choice of restaurants with food from around the world. For me there is no where better but I know that my kids will never be able to afford to live here without very high paying jobs or a lottery win. So I will be the last generation of my family to live in London which makes me sad.