Fed up with everyone leaving London

[Arlington45]

My partner and I are both from London, both sets of parents are in fairly near areas to us. We have no intention of leaving London.

But so many people are. My son (6) keeps having to say goodbye to school friends. Is this going to mess him up, having no sense of security with friends sticking around? I hope at some point it will settle down but at the moment it feels like a mass exodus.

I don't feel pissed off with the people leaving, I get it. But I do feel fed up. AIBU?

I let out a hollow laugh every time I read a post about leaving London for a "better lifestyle".

Try seeing how much better your life is in the countryside if you're not white or not straight.

I let out a hollow laugh everytime I read a comment like yours, always lived in the countryside as a non white and work internationally as a sofatware dev, the only racism I have faced is in Scotland and walking around some suburbs of London walking with my white partner.

It's funny how low lived experiences are only accepted on one level.

We moved away from London 30 years ago. Best thing we ever did and really house prices are just so ridiculously high I don't know how people can afford to live there. It is a shame if your sons friends are leaving but you cannot blame people for trying to find a better way of life.

Born and bred Londoner here. We left 10 years ago for the SW and I can honestly say it’s the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. Now DC at secondary and we’re priced out so can’t go back. I feel like I’m in limbo and don’t belong anywhere. It’s a horrible feeling; like my identity is gone.

I’ve not read the full thread but whoever said about queuing for the restaurants 😂😂😂 - no Londoner would go to a restaurant without a booking unless they were sure they’d be seated sharpish. We get pissed off waiting more than 5 minutes for a bus.

I left SW London for a market town just over an hours commute on the fast train. Busy market town surrounded by countryside. I miss London and my DP doesn’t understand why at all. But then he was born here and didn’t really “get” London other than for work.

Being in my 50s I will make this work but if I was far younger I think it would be a big problem. Most of my friends made the move out to various different places all easily accessible for London years ago.

Interesting thread.

Live in London with small children. Pre covid some families moved. When I found out they were moving I sometimes stepped back from the friendship a little, as didn't want my child to build more of a friendship that was going to probably end quite soon.

Since covid nearly everyone I know has at least considered moving (including us!) I really want a change of scene- but maybe I just need a holiday?!

We get pissed off waiting more than 5 minutes for a bus
Five minutes? I mutter offensive words if I wait for more than two 😂

@sbhydrogen

We get pissed off waiting more than 5 minutes for a bus Five minutes? I mutter offensive words if I wait for more than two 😂

So true. 😂

I said to another poster, please let me know what I'm doing wrong and how I can do it better and I give you my word I'll give it a fair punt next time I'm in. I'm not hostile to enjoying London, if it truly is amazing then I'd love to experience that. I just never have.

@BeagleEagle You're not doing anything 'wrong' but if you and your friends choose to go to a restaurant / bar / cafe where you have to queue to get in or they pack you in like sardines, then that's on you. Nothing to do with London. There are literally hundreds of restaurants in London where you book a table, arrive on time and they will seat you comfortably.

@KatherineJaneway

I said to another poster, please let me know what I'm doing wrong and how I can do it better and I give you my word I'll give it a fair punt next time I'm in. I'm not hostile to enjoying London, if it truly is amazing then I'd love to experience that. I just never have.

@BeagleEagle You're not doing anything 'wrong' but if you and your friends choose to go to a restaurant / bar / cafe where you have to queue to get in or they pack you in like sardines, then that's on you. Nothing to do with London. There are literally hundreds of restaurants in London where you book a table, arrive on time and they will seat you comfortably.

So where's good? Where shall I go? What's a good evening out in London? I want to experience it. Easy to say it's on me but I'm with friends so it's on them really if they live in the city and aren't giving a good experience.

Lots of people do queue for restaurants in London as many operate no bookings. why are people pretending it doesn't happen?

@greengrey

I'm sick of them leaving London and moving here !

Pushing up the house prices and clogging up the schools!!

Common feeling where I live too. It's better to have people living here though, than just sundry homes that leave for a semi-deserted village during other months.

Beagle - which part of London though? And what do you mean by “good evening out?” Dinner? Clubbing (that I have no idea about these days).

EastWestWhosBest Very happy to call a truce! All the disparaging on both sides of the argument needs to stop.

@Twoblueblocks

Ah wobble not controversial at all, totally valid. I waver between z5/6 (where I am) and further out market town but the commute cost does it for me. We can walk to cinema, nando's, shops, train station etc. But it's still the suburbs, I do miss z2/3 type neighbourhoods but no way I can afford. Also I only lived there pre kids and dont feel it's where I want my kids to grow up.

I'd love to experience another city like Birmingham but reading upthread I'm worried about diversity (in every sense, of thought, openness etc). Have multiracial DC.

That said, we are likely to move in a couple years, for secondary school... so always on lookout for ideas where!

I think some posters have a very out of date idea of what life outside London is like.

All the major cities in the UK are ethnically and culturally diverse - yes, even places miles away from London like Manchester, Leeds and Brimingham. Small towns less so, but it is not the case that you have to be white and straight to be accepted in any of the areas I know. Where I live (North Yorks national park), it is majority white but certainly not 100% and we also see increasing numbers of young people from diverse ethnic backgrounds coming here to go walking and climbing on the moors. I and most of my neighbours would be horrified to think they feel unwelcome. Racism is a problem everywhere of course, but some of the worst instances I've seen have been in cities (I grew up in London).

Just because the small town or village you grew up in in the 80s / 90s was bigoted, backwards and insular doesn't mean that is the norm these days.

My neighbours work in a wide range of industries, both in cities and rurally, and I agree with the comments above that outside of London it is far more normal to have friends from all social classes and walks of life. My social circle includes tradesmen and consultants - the London friends I grew up with openly admit they don't socialise with anyone who does a traditional working class job, because London is generally far more socially segregated. We have plastic-free shops, vegan cafes, and amazing delis nearby; we have a heritage cinema that would be the envy of many hipsters; environmental and climate change campaigns going on locally; a large regional food and drink festival; several Michelin starred restaurants within a shortish drive (or taxi if you want to drink); and at every major holiday the village organises a free trail for the local children (lately an Easter trail).

Granted, there is less to do for teenagers (although they don't need to rely on lifts as the nearest town is only 2 miles away and they can walk!), but this is not an ignorant cultural desert because it's not within the M25. I've lived here for 2 years and made friends, so the stereotype about village communities not being friendly to incomers is rubbish in my experience.

[quote MargosKaftan]@Oilpiy - we're outside the M25 but have decided to stay central in this town in a house that is walking distance to the station /on a bus route, rather than have the bigger place further out so our teens don't have that issue.

I must say though, when I lived in London in zone 3, I found it was fine if I wanted to go to the centre and back out at weekends, but if I say, had an invite to dinner at a friend's house also zone 3 but in a different area, it would be a taxi or going into the centre and back out again. The fabled London transport is good for getting people from outer areas to zone 1 to work and back, and then around their close area, but not between areas outside the centre. In comparison, most commuter towns aren't much worse. [/quote]
Were you still here when the London Overground was built? The extension of that has made travelling around the outskirts much easier!

@Cornishclio

We moved away from London 30 years ago. Best thing we ever did and really house prices are just so ridiculously high I don't know how people can afford to live there. It is a shame if your sons friends are leaving but you cannot blame people for trying to find a better way of life.

The affordability is an issue, for sure. You either need to have help from the bank of Mum and Dad, a house you've inherited, a humungous salary or have been really lucky moving up the property ladder as prices exploded. We were the latter: we bought a one-bed in a rubbish neighbourhood in our twenties when prices were average but the flat we bought after that sold for three times what we paid for it, giving us enough equity to buy a house in a nicer area on the same mortgage. It's bonkers.

He is 6 ! It’s hardly losing life long ties

Post Covid I see two people close to me leaving
And both for very valid reasons

London is always a transitory place
Don’t sweat it
Us born and bred won’t be leaving

Anyhow, later today I'm going into the centre of London for only the second time in a year. I've got to drop something off in Covent Garden then I'm going to walk down to the Embankment and along the river to St Paul's to catch the Tube home. I have missed walking along the Southbank so much I can't wait!

I get why lots of people hate London but for me it will always be the best place in the world to live. It's home.

@LoudestCat14 I rarely go to the centre and I find public transport fine. I can go one way to a tube station running north/ south and I’m near two overgroundS that run in different directions. There are multiple buses than fan out from here in every direction. I don’t recognise this description at all!
All areas are really accessible with few changes. The bus network is great and every few minutes they turn up

Sorry, tagged you by mistake @LoudestCat14

Oilpyi No worries! The transport is great, isn't it. When my parents come to visit they can't get over how frequent the buses are – where they live it's a 30 minute wait between each one. That's why everyone relies on cars. I much prefer to walk!

YABU in that it is not a new thing, just adding my voice to echo the posters saying that.

We moved out of London 20 years ago; I loved the 6 years we were there, but a year longer would have been too much for me. I was so envious of all the school families leaving at the end of every school year to move away, and every time a for sale board went up in my road I had my nose pressed against my living room window with an envious “wah, when will that be me”.

Loved my years there, but couldn’t move back. Don’t really enjoy visiting any more either, I prefer a lot of other cities and towns in the UK.

@LoudestCat14 I feel the same. I'm not from London or uk at all, but London is my home. I've had 3 longer stretches of not living here (once for travel, once for work and once for ill-fated love) and every time I got back I felt a pang of what can only be described as affection and warmth and almost love. I would miss it too much if I moved out. Controversially, I also think London is a great place to raise kids. So much to do, see and experience, fantastic playgrounds and woodlands only a short tube ride away.

Genuine question for those who have moved to more rural areas- are the kids not bored when they reach their teens? I'd imagine it would be wonderful to raise little ones in the country but you'd end up just being a taxi service when they reach 12?

@flooredreally

Lots of people do queue for restaurants in London as many operate no bookings. why are people pretending it doesn't happen?

I havent a clue - I checked with a friend who lives and works there and he said it's a constant thing. Not the chains but the up and comers, the trendy places, places with good reviews. Can be very difficult to get a seat sometimes. Sure the local hidden gems will have seating but you'd have to be in the know in that neighbourhood to be aware of what's good.

@quest1on

Beagle - which part of London though? And what do you mean by “good evening out?” Dinner? Clubbing (that I have no idea about these days).

Any part, I would travel. Clubbing? Definitely not. I don't drink. Dinner and a bar (I do drink alco free beer and enjoy sitting in a bar with friends)