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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP didn't come home AIBU to be Pissed off?

551 replies

ShutUpaYourFace · 04/04/2021 07:51

So yesterday DP went off at 3pm to a socially distanced wake/bbq. His friends DP passed away, the funeral is soon but limited. This is a group of men that haven't got together since the pandemic. I understand they have a lot to catch up on so on, but he said it was just an afternoon thing outside. We have 2 children so about midnight I went to bed. It's now nearly 8am and he still hasn't returned. No text, no call. I'm pissed off. It has happened before and always leads to an argument. I just can't forgive the lack of respect towards myself and the kids.
AIBU? would you be pissed off too?

OP posts:
CuntyMcBollocks · 04/04/2021 12:25

I'd be pissed off if my DH didn't let me know that he would be staying out, not by the fact that he decided to stay out. It takes literally seconds to just text/call to let you know.

ChronicallyCurious · 04/04/2021 12:26

@CryptoFascist

I'm sure you are allowed a phone call when arrested, unless that's only in TV shows?

I'd be handing the childcare over to him for the rest of the Easter weekend, for certain.

You’re allowed a phone call only if it’s deemed in public interest. However I think you have the right to pick someone to be your ‘notified person’ if you’re not allowed a phone call. I only know this because when I was 18 my ex got arrested and he wasn’t allowed to contact anyone but the station rang me to tell me he was in custody and told me I was the notified person.

Maybe he was so intoxicated he couldn’t take a phone call/give details of who to ring?

DinosaurDiana · 04/04/2021 12:27

Wow, what a role model to the kids.

PerspicaciousGreen · 04/04/2021 12:27

@BigFatLiar Or we could have a competition to see who can come up wih the weirdest reason.

My entry is that his phone ran out of battery and he realised he should let OP know he wasn't going to be home that night so he broke into a mobile phone shop so he could borrow one to give her a ring.

Macncheeseballs · 04/04/2021 12:28

Don't know much about police matters but surely they coulda let him phone his family

Macncheeseballs · 04/04/2021 12:30

Why do men seem to get into so much more trouble when they are drunk than women

ArchieStar · 04/04/2021 12:31

I thought they were allowed one phone call, or is that just if arrested? Either way OP, he sounds like a tosspot when it comes to drinking. Hopefully this is lesson learnt!

Brunt0n · 04/04/2021 12:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Abraxan · 04/04/2021 12:43

@Macncheeseballs

Don't know much about police matters but surely they coulda let him phone his family
The police do offer a phone call, though usually not using your own mobile.

Perhaps the partner was so drunk he couldn't manage to call.
Or told them he didn't want to call anyone.

We don't know it's the police's fault he didn't call.

I'd be worried about potential drink driving, amongst other things.
It's unlikely to be a 'simple' breaking of the rules - the police would just disperse them, not arrest them. It would have to be more - in such a case it could be being aggressive or verbally abusive to the police. Though the Op says he is normally a 'happy' drunk.

Abraxan · 04/04/2021 12:44

@Macncheeseballs

Why do men seem to get into so much more trouble when they are drunk than women
Look at the response of several posters to a man going our, getting drunk, not coming home and not even letting his partner and children know where he is.

They are being enabled to act in this way.

A wake and supporting a friend is in no way an excuse for such behaviour.

minou123 · 04/04/2021 12:45

What a tit. He must have been really drunk and disorderly for the police to pick him up.

Ignore him, OP and try and have a good day for you and the kids.

OverTheRubicon · 04/04/2021 12:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Abouttimemum · 04/04/2021 12:48

I just couldn’t be arsed with all this drama from a fully grown adult. What a dick.

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn as it quotes a deleted post.

Brunt0n · 04/04/2021 12:48

You’re 100% right @OverTheRubicon

He has wasted her life, and he’s a crappy dad

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:49

Ignore the stupid comments.
Let the loss of the pals partner be a reminder not to get caught up in nonsense .

He made a mistake. Talk about it and move on.

ArchieStar · 04/04/2021 12:53

@Brunt0n that’s a very unhelpful comment to make right now.

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:53

[quote ArchieStar]@Brunt0n that’s a very unhelpful comment to make right now.[/quote]
Several times as well when nobody was interested.

CentBoppers · 04/04/2021 12:54

@Butwasitherdriveway

Ignore the stupid comments. Let the loss of the pals partner be a reminder not to get caught up in nonsense .

He made a mistake. Talk about it and move on.

Have you read the OP's updates? He spent the night in the cells.

Talk about it and move on - really?.

Brunt0n · 04/04/2021 12:54

@Butwasitherdriveway he’s 45 with young kids at home and he’s out getting hammered and arrested, he’s hardly one of life’s winners is he?

EL8888 · 04/04/2021 12:55

YANBU when he gets back l vote he takes over parenting duties, while you lie in bed with a book and chocolate. How often do you get to disengage for so long? Not very often l bet

ArchieStar · 04/04/2021 12:55

@Brunt0n and if you read OPs posts properly you’d see he hasn’t always done this. Either way, your original comment is victim blaming for lack of a better word so unless you have something useful to say, stop.

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:56

[quote Brunt0n]@Butwasitherdriveway he’s 45 with young kids at home and he’s out getting hammered and arrested, he’s hardly one of life’s winners is he?[/quote]
Bla bla bla bla

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:57

@CentBoppers yes cent. Is there s problem with that?

Brunt0n · 04/04/2021 12:57

People who police who can answer on Internet forums are hilarious 😂