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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP didn't come home AIBU to be Pissed off?

551 replies

ShutUpaYourFace · 04/04/2021 07:51

So yesterday DP went off at 3pm to a socially distanced wake/bbq. His friends DP passed away, the funeral is soon but limited. This is a group of men that haven't got together since the pandemic. I understand they have a lot to catch up on so on, but he said it was just an afternoon thing outside. We have 2 children so about midnight I went to bed. It's now nearly 8am and he still hasn't returned. No text, no call. I'm pissed off. It has happened before and always leads to an argument. I just can't forgive the lack of respect towards myself and the kids.
AIBU? would you be pissed off too?

OP posts:
itsgettingwierd · 04/04/2021 11:59

Hope he didn't do anything too stupid it affects you and your kids.

But enjoy that upper hand Grin

doitwithlove · 04/04/2021 12:00

Oh my days 🤦🏼‍♀️

scaredsadandstuck · 04/04/2021 12:01

Oh crikey OP. Hope it wasn't for anything that's going to have repercussions for work etc. Pretty sure you get to go back to bed for the rest of the long weekend while he brings you cups of tea, chocolate and whatever else you desire. BrewCakeFlowers

minmooch · 04/04/2021 12:03

Well he's a twat. I'm sorry

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 04/04/2021 12:03

@scaredsadandstuck

Oh crikey OP. Hope it wasn't for anything that's going to have repercussions for work etc. Pretty sure you get to go back to bed for the rest of the long weekend while he brings you cups of tea, chocolate and whatever else you desire. BrewCakeFlowers
He be packing bags not bringing me tea Hmm
Sexnotgender · 04/04/2021 12:03

@ShutUpaYourFace

He just called. He has spent the night in the police cells! He's on his way home now. He apologised and said he would be home soon. I asked him if it was for being a dick head he said yes. We left it there! TBC..... At least he's alive. I think I have the upper hand now!
I’d want to know the actual reason for his night in pokey.

Assuming in Covid times the police don’t want randoms hanging around the station for no reason.

CryptoFascist · 04/04/2021 12:05

I'm sure you are allowed a phone call when arrested, unless that's only in TV shows?

I'd be handing the childcare over to him for the rest of the Easter weekend, for certain.

JustSleepAlready · 04/04/2021 12:07

Maybe they got rowdy , a neighbour called the police, he was maybe mouthing off or just being blindly drunk and unaware... hopefully nothing too bad. Probably chucked ina cell to sober up and a small fine for breaching the peace. I’m sure the shame will be unmatched by anything you can dish out .

gannett · 04/04/2021 12:08

Oh dear, getting wasted all night is one thing, who among us hasn't done it etc, but being so stupid as to end up in cells? FFS.

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:11

@scaredsadandstuck

YADNBU

I'd be cross and I'd probably be a bit worried. I'd probably send a message along the lines of "Presuming you're just hungover and not dead?" to check he was ok. Then I'd start planning my speech for when he finally had the decency to come home! Grin

Funnily enough in OPs circumstances I wouldn't.
FunnyWonder · 04/04/2021 12:11

Oh my goodness. I bet you didn't expect that. Maybe there was a general breaking of the covid rules.

Hope you're ok. Don't forget, you've had it worse than him, because you just spent the night not knowing if he was alive or dead and wondering if he was just being a thoughtless git. Don't let him play the sympathy card just because he was locked up in a cell for the night!

itwa · 04/04/2021 12:11

I'd go out, if I were you

Crinkle77 · 04/04/2021 12:14

Hmmm am dubious about this. What would he be arrested for? There's no pubs or clubs open so where has he been to get arrested? Unless he's been at someone's house and there's been a fight. I'm wondering if this is an excuse to get out of not coming home.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 04/04/2021 12:15

Really? I'd be highly suspicious if this is true!

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:16

Breaking covid restrictions?

Crinkle77 · 04/04/2021 12:17

Oh my goodness. I bet you didn't expect that. Maybe there was a general breaking of the covid rules.

Nah they wouldn't arrest you for that. They'd just fine you unless he's been drunk and disorderly.

BigFatLiar · 04/04/2021 12:18

@Crinkle77

Hmmm am dubious about this. What would he be arrested for? There's no pubs or clubs open so where has he been to get arrested? Unless he's been at someone's house and there's been a fight. I'm wondering if this is an excuse to get out of not coming home.
Perhaps he tried to drive home.

Who knows, wait and see if OP comes back and says.

Or we could have a competition to see who can come up wih the weirdest reason.

Cakecakeandmorecake · 04/04/2021 12:18

Wow, no YANBU! Imagine if you did that, don’t think he would see it as just you catching up with friends and not bothering him.

Febo24 · 04/04/2021 12:18

Oooh please do tell us what for when you find out! I'm thinking some kind of public disorder with added covid breach!

Butwasitherdriveway · 04/04/2021 12:19

@Crinkle77

Oh my goodness. I bet you didn't expect that. Maybe there was a general breaking of the covid rules.

Nah they wouldn't arrest you for that. They'd just fine you unless he's been drunk and disorderly.

They would if thre was loads and all being mouthy.
CustardySergeant · 04/04/2021 12:19

BigFatLiar How could he have tried to drive home? He didn't have his car, the OP dropped him off.

Lamentations · 04/04/2021 12:21

@Overdueanamechange

My first thought would be of worry of this is out of character. Have you got a tracker app on his phone?
Bloody hell do people do this?

I'd be a bit pissed off but if the shoe was on the other foot and my friend had died and me and my mates went a bit over the top at a wake I'd hope for kindness and understanding from my other half.

Lamentations · 04/04/2021 12:22

Just saw the update, sorry! Bloody hell.

louisejxxx · 04/04/2021 12:23

Oh gosh I’m sorry OP.

My dp has done this on 1 of 2 occasions in the 10 years we’ve lived together (not the getting arrested part though!) - for me it’s the lack of contact that pissed me off in the past, and the then being wiped out all day so of no use with the kids. He hasn’t done it an a while because the last time I pointed out that he would go ballistic at me just for staying out all night even if I’d sent him a message saying what I was doing every 30 seconds. He stopped it as I made it clear it was a deal breaker particularly with young dcs at the time.

Ohdobequiet · 04/04/2021 12:25

Wow.