DP didn't come home AIBU to be Pissed off?

[ShutUpaYourFace]

So yesterday DP went off at 3pm to a socially distanced wake/bbq. His friends DP passed away, the funeral is soon but limited. This is a group of men that haven't got together since the pandemic. I understand they have a lot to catch up on so on, but he said it was just an afternoon thing outside. We have 2 children so about midnight I went to bed. It's now nearly 8am and he still hasn't returned. No text, no call. I'm pissed off. It has happened before and always leads to an argument. I just can't forgive the lack of respect towards myself and the kids.
AIBU? would you be pissed off too?

@ButIcantsitonleather

I can’t help but feel sorry for the posters who think this isn’t a big deal. Raise your standards.

Don't feel sorry for us.

I feel sorry for the posters who have to be so insufferably right they will go through life losing people because people aren't perfect.

@ButIcantsitonleather

I can’t help but feel sorry for the posters who think this isn’t a big deal. Raise your standards.

I feel sorry for people who’d throw a 30 year relationship down the pan for something like this.

Ah so the OP says he was allowed a call but he decided not to make it as it was after midnight.

I am not sure that's how he was thinking (or not thinking.) If he is unaware of the precise events- who dropped him off and where- how was he lucid enough to think 'Oh, it's after midnight, I won't call my partner' [she won't be worried at all that I'm not home.]

@Alsohuman

Same. And the poor sods who would be walked out on .

Well done for handling this so well, OP and being so candid with him. If he was in any doubt about how fortunate he is to have you and your children in his life you have now clarified the situation for him and he will, hopefully, be more careful and thoughtful another time.

Enjoy your Easter egg - try it with an espresso, if you can! 🌹

Would be fuming

@Sansaplans

Getting drunk at a very occasional wake does not make one an unfit parent, regardless of what "some people on here" might say.

Ffs 🙄

[quote AhNowTed]@Sansaplans

Getting drunk at a very occasional wake does not make one an unfit parent, regardless of what "some people on here" might say.

Ffs 🙄

[/quote]
Quite.

@Alsohuman same.

Sounds like you have handled it well. OP and he has some making up to do but definitely sounds like the best outcome which has taught him a painful lesson!

Drunk and disorderly and now with a criminal record having accepted a
Police caution. I hope it doesn't affect his employment. What a prince.

@PanamaPattie

Drunk and disorderly and now with a criminal record having accepted a Police caution. I hope it doesn't affect his employment. What a prince.

🙄

@JinglingHellsBells

Correct me if I'm wrong but surely is a man is arrested and in a cell overnight, he is allowed to make a call to explain to his family where he is? Or the police would?

And as far as I know, a wake is held after a funeral, not as a precursor to one.

I'm Irish so might not be the same everywhere but yes a wake is held before the funeral.

Oh ffs.

The man mer his friends, they're grieving, they got too drunk, by the sounds of it he was found wandering about being drunk and was lifted.

And PPs have decided he's the worst guy ever and must be sent to the gallows.

he doesnt remember anything but remembers it was too late to phone

yeah ok

they dont arrest people walking down the street for no reason

Getting drunk at a very occasional wake does not make one an unfit parent, regardless of what "some people on here" might say
.
He didn't get drunk at a 'wake' .

He was arrested and detained overnight for being drunk and disorderly in public. So he's be shouting, possibly abusive, possible threatening others or getting involved in a fight.

@GabsAlot

he doesnt remember anything but remembers it was too late to phone

yeah ok

they dont arrest people walking down the street for no reason

Maybe he was told this morning when he was discharged.

It's likely he's been stopped and kicked off.

Not the end of the world.

@JinglingHellsBells

Getting drunk at a very occasional wake does not make one an unfit parent, regardless of what "some people on here" might say . He didn't get drunk at a 'wake' .

He was arrested and detained overnight for being drunk and disorderly in public. So he's be shouting, possibly abusive, possible threatening others or getting involved in a fight.

No, let's not make things up.

Ah okay @ancientgran. In my area it's usually the name they give to the 'party' afterwards.

The OP said he was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. What might disorderly mean? @Butwasitherdriveway

@JinglingHellsBells

The OP said he was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. What might disorderly mean? *@Butwasitherdriveway*

Not necessarily fighting or being abusive and threatening.

Ah sure it could happen to a bishop 😂

I used the word 'possibly' @Butwasitherdriveway

@JinglingHellsBells

The OP said he was arrested for being drunk and disorderly. What might disorderly mean? *@Butwasitherdriveway*

A drunk and disorderly offence is acquired through disruptive public behaviour whilst being under the influence of alcohol.

Butwasitherdriveway

“Oh come on.” ? ?

What does that mean. He got arrested for being drunk and disorderly. Would you feel safe around him?
Getting hammered on a night out and not phoning home affects your family.
Getting arrested for being a tit affects family and everyone else who had to see it/stop the fight/ cross over the road/avoid stepping in the wee in the road or whatever (given we have no idea what drunk and disorderly actions he took). It’s not acceptable.