DP didn't come home AIBU to be Pissed off?

[ShutUpaYourFace]

So yesterday DP went off at 3pm to a socially distanced wake/bbq. His friends DP passed away, the funeral is soon but limited. This is a group of men that haven't got together since the pandemic. I understand they have a lot to catch up on so on, but he said it was just an afternoon thing outside. We have 2 children so about midnight I went to bed. It's now nearly 8am and he still hasn't returned. No text, no call. I'm pissed off. It has happened before and always leads to an argument. I just can't forgive the lack of respect towards myself and the kids.
AIBU? would you be pissed off too?

Surely you don’t get arrested just for being drunk in the street on your way home.
He’s either been very very unlucky or he’s not telling the truth.

If he is being honest he’s just been very unlucky. However this is either the straw that broke the camel’s back or you’re angling for a reason or excuse to get rid of him , that much is clear from your “upper hand” comment

James - high five to you !

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Why is that relevant

Because if the tables were turned the responses on here, and probably of the husband, would be VERY different. But OP seems to be told to let him get away with it because why? Because he has a penis?

No 🙄

Because they've been married for 30 years and she presumably loves him. If this is a one off, this is not territory to kick him out.

Ps , hi again James 😘

My DH did this recently because he "didn't want an argument about it" while he was out. The next time he sent a text at 1am to say he was staying out. This was after completely checking out on parenting for the last three months except for a few hours at the weekend to let me "catch up on work." Our marriage is now on the rocks partly because of his disrespectful and selfish actions in the last few months (not just the nights out).

YANBU to be pissed off.

If it was the other way round, he'd be ringing hospitals and police stations. Some men can be very thoughtless in their actions.

It does favour women!

Men are automatically the worst thing ever and throw them out.

If a woman posted this, the responses would be poor OP drunk and emotional over her friend clearly needs help.

Glad he’s home safe OP!

My ex H used to do this all the time. one of the reasons hes now ex

If a woman posted this she would be told she needs rehab and social services would be involved

If a woman posted that she went to a wake and got so pissed she couldn't remember a thing, woke up in a police cell and only managed to call her husband at noon who was looking after the kids, then people here would be calling social services and telling her to check in to rehab

Oooh Great minds @Tinacollada 🤣🤣

James thank you !!

Oh just realized there was more. It's early where I am (not the UK) and just drinking coffee so didn't realize there was more.

Glad he's home safe and you got to the bottom of it OP. YA still NBU for your anger. But I'm speaking from a similar position right now and that may be clouding my judgment.

@Tinacollada

If a woman posted this she would be told she needs rehab and social services would be involved

Yep, this.

And you're right with your previous post about the crock of shit too.

I agree, I'm amazed people say let this go! This is a serious lack of respect on every level.

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

If a woman posted that she went to a wake and got so pissed she couldn't remember a thing, woke up in a police cell and only managed to call her husband at noon who was looking after the kids, then people here would be calling social services and telling her to check in to rehab

Not a chance.

Just seen the update, you can still make a phone call.from a police cell.....

@Flowers24

Just seen the update, you can still make a phone call.from a police cell.....

He said he didn't because of the time.

So he doesn't remember kicking off so badly he got arrested for drunk and disorderly but he remembers turning down the opportunity of a phone call and the reason why 🧐 sounds like the truth

Also why be dropped near your house and not at your front door? What did he do between the main road and your house that was so bad it warranted an arrest and the police just happened to be in the vicinity. Come on OP, wise up.

@Butwasitherdriveway

It does favour women!

Men are automatically the worst thing ever and throw them out.

If a woman posted this, the responses would be poor OP drunk and emotional over her friend clearly needs help.

Not if she spent the night in the cells and - this is important - had been away before all night without calling. P

Yanbu. Oh I hate men sometimes (yes I know not ALL men yada yada, but it's much more likely to be a man leaving his partner and kids to get pissed and not even bother to check in). It doesn't matter what time it is if I'd been arrested and couldn't get back to my children I'd be ringing who ever was responsible for them at that time to let them know why I couldn't get back to them!! Has he got his discharge forms? (sorry if x post, haven't read whole thread,...)

Because of the time? Bollocks!!

@FreshFancyFrogglette tenner says they "didn't give him discharge forms".

I’m sorry for you and your children 💐

Because policing during a pandemic means there's gonna be loads of extra resources for avoidable arrests