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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be uncomfortable about this kind of breastfeeding picture posted on social media?

252 replies

Swoonforpeterbishop · 02/04/2021 22:55

I’m not going to post the actual picture as then I’d just be getting more people to look at it but a small time influencer has posted a picture of her and her baby breastfeeding, both very clearly naked, in order to advertise some breast milk jewellery.
You can barely see the jewellery but can clearly see mum and child are naked - very flattering shot of the mother and a lovely caption about how precious breastfeeding and how the jewellery is the perfect memento.

I am perfectly prepared to be told I am being completely unreasonable but I feel uncomfortable about the picture. The child has no say over this - anyone can now view this picture of them both naked. It’s going out to thousands of random followers.

I breastfed my child, am pro normalising breastfeeding but feel like I’m this context this picture isn’t about the breastfeeding at all despite the caption.

I also feel really uncomfortable about using a picture of the child in that state to advertise the jewellery?

Maybe I’m old and out of touch and I know, I know, I should mind my business but I don’t follow her it popped up as a sponsored post on my feed and it’s bothered me.

OP posts:
AutomaticMoon · 03/04/2021 02:58

There are women on YouTube who make these kind of videos regularly, as far as I can tell, they cater to men (or people?!) who have a breastfeeding fetish. The children are used as props and I’m pretty sure the women make a lot of money. I don’t know whether they are all voluntarily doing this or if they’re forced somehow?! It’s very creepy

malificent7 · 03/04/2021 03:15

Never mind the photo...the jewellery sounds mawkish and boak!

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/04/2021 05:23

Are you uncomfortable with this ancient baby lotion ad? Because naked babies have been in published photos without any particular harm coming to them or others for a long, long time.

You didn't post the ad (and I appreciate why) but it doesn't sound at all sexual so I think YABU to condemn it just because it happens to have nudity in it.

If you were complaining about the fact she was selling breastmilk jewelry I would find that totally reasonable!

AIBU to be uncomfortable about this kind of breastfeeding picture posted on social media?
RizzleRazzle · 03/04/2021 05:30

@BoomBoomsCousin

Are you uncomfortable with this ancient baby lotion ad? Because naked babies have been in published photos without any particular harm coming to them or others for a long, long time.

You didn't post the ad (and I appreciate why) but it doesn't sound at all sexual so I think YABU to condemn it just because it happens to have nudity in it.

If you were complaining about the fact she was selling breastmilk jewelry I would find that totally reasonable!

I think the point OP is making is that as this woman is an influencer, lots of people follow her and know the child's name, where they live, what classes they go to etc as well as having these photos of them naked on Instagram.

So it's not just a random baby on an advert, lots of information is available about them as well.

I might be wrong but I think that's what is concerning OP

BoomBoomsCousin · 03/04/2021 05:43

I think the point OP is making is that as this woman is an influencer, lots of people follow her and know the child's name, where they live, what classes they go to etc as well as having these photos of them naked on Instagram.

So it's not just a random baby on an advert, lots of information is available about them as well.

I might be wrong but I think that's what is concerning OP

I used the baby lotion ad because it was easy to search for on the Internet and I can see an argument that commercialization is problematic. Most "known" naked babies won't be known far and wide. I suppose I could have used Spencer Elden's. The point is, naked baby photos have not been limited to unidentified pictures in adverts. They have been printed in local papers and passed around family gatherings, been on the news, displayed on slide shows at 18th birthday celebrations and wedding speeches.

The harm that has happened to people because of them is no more severe than the harm that has happened to people because of clothed photos.

GreenSlide · 03/04/2021 05:47

@SoMuchBadInfo

Yes yabvu.

Why do you care what another woman does with her child, her own breasts?? Are you jealous that yours don't look as good?

Get over it and stop bringing women down fgs.

You have no right to call yourself "breastfed friendly" or whatever other silly term you used in your OP when your obviously not.

Women have fought for hundreds of years to have their bodily autonomy and you don't get to decide that yours is okay but hers isn't.

This is a normal reaction to the OP Hmm

nancywhitehead · 03/04/2021 06:34

@Lineofconcepcion

I find it a bit sad that people seeing a naked mum with her naked baby could be an issue for anyone. It's about as natural as you can get with the caveat that the photo is not sexualising in order to sell, what could possibly be wrong?
This.

I don't see the problem.

You say you can "clearly see they are naked" but it sounds from your description like it is actually tasteful and not full on genitalia shots.

If there is no genitalia on show then it's not breaking any social media rules. This really is your own issue OP - why do you think you have such a strong reaction to an image of natural human bodies?

CloudFormations · 03/04/2021 06:51

Yanbu. I’m also breastfeeding and pro-breastfeeding but I don’t think children should be naked on social media. You have no idea what those images could be used for.

AmyLou100 · 03/04/2021 06:54

Yanbu, complete self absorbed attention seeking. That's for your private use, I don't think anyone wants to see that.

Lollyneenah · 03/04/2021 07:10

Yanbu at all

Mollymalone123 · 03/04/2021 07:10

Breast milk jewellery- wanky nonsense

Sansaplans · 03/04/2021 07:16

On the whole influencers who shill their children are grim, but I wouldn't say a BFing one was any different than them doing anything else. It is odd to post loads of photos and details of local area, home, routine to a public social media account imo before the child can choose what to share themselves.

tortoiselover100 · 03/04/2021 07:23

@Lineofconcepcion

I find it a bit sad that people seeing a naked mum with her naked baby could be an issue for anyone. It's about as natural as you can get with the caveat that the photo is not sexualising in order to sell, what could possibly be wrong?
This, I actually quite like normalising breastfeeding after the mothers of the 60's 70's and 80's were encouraged down the formula route.
HikeForward · 03/04/2021 07:31

Why did she need to take all her clothes off? The camera angle focuses on her bottom not the baby. I’m slightly shocked she’d post a nude photo of herself, breastfeeding or not, but guess it’s click bait to get more attention for her business. You can’t really miss that image and I guess social media can’t remove it for nudity as she’s breastfeeding? 🤔

JackieWeaverHandforthCouncil · 03/04/2021 07:34

‘Breastfeeding journey?’ Fucking ridiculous. Up there with ‘we’re pregnant’.

Boatonthehorizon · 03/04/2021 07:35

It is soft porn. Pics of naked ladies. The inclusion of the child makes it immoral. Obs.

Surprised noone else has realised this and its obvious that that is what OP meant.

HeyGirlHeyBoy · 03/04/2021 07:43

We don't know for sure that is the pic the op is referring to as she said it was suggested nudity, where that is definite, and she said a slightly older baby. I it could have so easily been baby's bare back and mother's bare top half with a sheet draped over so if it was this one I think the bottom half naked is a bit odd but at the sale time it wouldn't cost me a minute's thought. I would imagine she will continue to post as baby gets older and that's more problematic imo, all little babies are so similar and their nakrd bodies are fairly normalised so I don't take much issue with that. At the same time didn't and wouldn't do it myself.

Megan2018 · 03/04/2021 07:43

Nudity doesn’t bother me in the slightest.
There’s nothing wrong with nakedness-apart from on Mumsnet

ThePricklySheep · 03/04/2021 07:50

Breast FEEDING jewellery is a sturdy set of beads that stand up to fiddling with while the baby is feeding. They look nice and are useful. I had some and they then went into the dressing up box.

BreastMILK jewellery is made of breast milk. Two different things.

chalktheblockwithglitterchalk · 03/04/2021 07:52

You haven't shared the picture
But no I don't find a picture of a mum and baby breastfeeding offensive . I'd be thinking 'I hope the LO doesn't pee/ poo on the mum'

RampantIvy · 03/04/2021 07:56

For those asking, it's jewellery made from breastmilk

What is the point of it? Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do. It doesn’t need to be fetishized by a piece of jewellery or made into a “journey”.

I agree that it needs to be normalised, but making a big deal of it like this is likely to put mums who are undecided about breastfeeding off the idea.

For the record DD was breastfed.

Magnificentmug12 · 03/04/2021 07:59

It’s the fact the mother is naked, you don’t need to be naked to promote breastfeeding or jewellery.

That’s social media for you though, this is clearly about the mother hiding behind breastfeeding as a way to post a modest naked shot without using the caption “look at me and how as women I am!”

FourTeaFallOut · 03/04/2021 08:01

Jesus, never breastfeed a naked baby, you are seconds away from being pissed on or worse.

5128gap · 03/04/2021 08:01

I think its an excellent way to promote breastfeeding to a demographic who may otherwise not be keen.
Glamour sells, to women as well as men.

FourTeaFallOut · 03/04/2021 08:02

Xpost, I was thinking a tiny baby till I saw the photo.