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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be uncomfortable about this kind of breastfeeding picture posted on social media?

252 replies

Swoonforpeterbishop · 02/04/2021 22:55

I’m not going to post the actual picture as then I’d just be getting more people to look at it but a small time influencer has posted a picture of her and her baby breastfeeding, both very clearly naked, in order to advertise some breast milk jewellery.
You can barely see the jewellery but can clearly see mum and child are naked - very flattering shot of the mother and a lovely caption about how precious breastfeeding and how the jewellery is the perfect memento.

I am perfectly prepared to be told I am being completely unreasonable but I feel uncomfortable about the picture. The child has no say over this - anyone can now view this picture of them both naked. It’s going out to thousands of random followers.

I breastfed my child, am pro normalising breastfeeding but feel like I’m this context this picture isn’t about the breastfeeding at all despite the caption.

I also feel really uncomfortable about using a picture of the child in that state to advertise the jewellery?

Maybe I’m old and out of touch and I know, I know, I should mind my business but I don’t follow her it popped up as a sponsored post on my feed and it’s bothered me.

OP posts:
Frogartist · 03/04/2021 16:04

@RampantIvy

For those asking, it's jewellery made from breastmilk

What is the point of it? Breastfeeding is a natural thing to do. It doesn’t need to be fetishized by a piece of jewellery or made into a “journey”.

I agree that it needs to be normalised, but making a big deal of it like this is likely to put mums who are undecided about breastfeeding off the idea.

For the record DD was breastfed.

Perhaps it's just for fun?
SionnachRua · 03/04/2021 16:07

Agreed. I'm all for breastfeeding but I am not for posting naked pictures of your children on the internet. And it's the internet - once it's up, you can't completely take it down.

It'll be interesting to hear what all the children of these influencers have to say about it in a few years. They never asked to be used as a marketing accessory.

Frogartist · 03/04/2021 16:07

How do you feel about this well known poster from the 80s? en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27Enfant_(poster)

Frogartist · 03/04/2021 16:09

[quote Swoonforpeterbishop]@GrumpyHoonMain nothing wrong at all but tell me, when you do this do you whip out a camera to take a picture of the moment and post it on a public forum for 20k+ followers and how many other randoms to see? That’s the bit I have a problem with[/quote]
I agree. I wouldn't post photos of my children anywhere, naked or clothed. But I can't see that this lady is doing something that hasn't been done before, for many years in different ways.

LolaSmiles · 03/04/2021 16:13

SionnachRua
Same here.
I've seen friends post holiday photos where they were nursing in some of them. That's very different to using naked images of your child as a marketing ploy to get likes.

I feel very uncomfortable with naked, staged photos of children being put on the Internet.

Some breastfeeding support workers have had pervy calls from men claiming to be wanting support or advice for their wives, but it's become apparent they were getting off to the consultant talking. I don't think women putting their nude babies online are considering that there are some disturbed perverts online.

Ofallthethings · 03/04/2021 16:27

I'm not sure I've seen the right

Ofallthethings · 03/04/2021 16:31

I'm not sure I've seen the right picture on here but I don't think a picture of nude breastfeeding would be offensive. Although I wouldn't do it myself!
I do have an issue with consent and pictures of children on social media I.e. they just can't consent. So that would be my only objection to a picture like that.

Influencers are out to get attention /likes aren't they, and breastfeeding jewelry is just odd.

PrudenceDictates · 03/04/2021 16:57

I don’t think this normalises breastfeeding at all. It makes it look a bit like Gwynth Paltrow wank.

This^
I think it is self-obsessed, attention seeking wank. It's not normalising or promoting breastfeeding... no one feeds like this.

I have breastfed 5 children. The first was 30 years ago, and all of them were when it was still legal to turf BFing mothers out of cafes.
I'm all for normalising, but pics like this do not do that.

PrudenceDictates · 03/04/2021 16:58

And as for breast milk jewellery 🤮

Original poster
Swoonforpeterbishop · 03/04/2021 17:08

It doesn’t offend me at all. I just think it’s a questionable choice to post it online

OP posts:
Mallowmarshmallow · 03/04/2021 18:28

Breastfeeding or not, I would never post a photo of my child naked on any public facing platform. It's an invasion of their privacy; what are this generation of children going to think when they are old enough to understand their parents sold their naked bodies in return for likes/sponsors/ads.

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 03/04/2021 19:41

@SoMuchBadInfo - you're the only one trying to tear other women down by suggesting they are jealous of someone else's boobs and have shit husbands! How very high-school, aka pathetic.
People who are comparing this photo with posters/billboards from the past aren't really comparing like with like. Obviously there are images of these online but the original photos aren't. They were mostly just seen by family and friends and can't be accessed in digital form. Neither are they alongside ridiculous amounts of information about the child in the picture. It's highly unlikely this IG mum is going to stop posting information about her child in the near future so they are probably going to have their whole childhood invaded and shared in this way. It's hideously inappropriate and grossly unfair on the child. Once you upload a photo to the internet you lose any and all control over it.
The photo in question is all manner of cringe. So many questions: why the hall floor? Probably because it's the only place in her house with an appropriate selfie-mirror. If she was sitting on her bed or something and someone else took a photo then ok, but to stage this ridiculous selfie - getting herself and her child naked, positioning herself 'just so' in front of the mirror, getting her child to performance breastfeed for her to get the perfect selfie (probably took hundreds of shots) then I imagine she told her child to stop/get up, ran about stretching her legs to shake off the pins and needles/go off and get dressed/whip a nappy and some clothes on him, etc, just seems like a really unpleasant experience for both of them, just to get what she thinks is the perfect IG shot. Seriously, who could be bothered? It's so tedious to see these women thinking they are breaking some sort of mould when they breastfeed their children. It's been happening for thousands of years and she knows she's not unique or even remotely special in doing this so she's trying to use her child and being naked as her USP. There really should be a rule against 'influencers'/bloggers exploiting their children like this.

dammit88 · 03/04/2021 19:52

Who is it?

SnackSizeRaisin · 03/04/2021 20:24

It’s a beautiful picture and let me tell you as someone who is still bf a 15 mo - we often still bf like that when it’s hot or DS needs comforting because skin to skin seems to regulate his temp and calm him. On my part I don’t wear underwear to bed and as it’s a lot easier just to take my pyjamas off - we do often fall asleep like that. Not sure what the problem is here

Do you also kneel on the hall floor whilst breastfeeding him naked, and does he not wear a nappy either? And do you also take pictures and post them on social media? If not it's not really the same, is it.

MinnieMous3 · 03/04/2021 20:27

@SnackSizeRaisin

It’s a beautiful picture and let me tell you as someone who is still bf a 15 mo - we often still bf like that when it’s hot or DS needs comforting because skin to skin seems to regulate his temp and calm him. On my part I don’t wear underwear to bed and as it’s a lot easier just to take my pyjamas off - we do often fall asleep like that. Not sure what the problem is here

Do you also kneel on the hall floor whilst breastfeeding him naked, and does he not wear a nappy either? And do you also take pictures and post them on social media? If not it's not really the same, is it.

Grumpy can’t see a thread that mentions bfing without rushing in to mention that she does it as well. Doesn’t matter if it’s basically irrelevant, we all must know 😉
SnackSizeRaisin · 03/04/2021 20:32

But I can't see that this lady is doing something that hasn't been done before, for many years in different ways.

The difference is that this image is forever available to anyone who knows the child's name. Along with a lot of other photos and information. That is not the case for photographs published in the local newspaper, or babies in adverts, or family photos shared between family and friends only, or an arty photo for an exhibition etc.
None of those are easily available to random teenage bullies doing a Google search for the child's name. Or future employers, colleagues or girlfriends.

Original poster
Swoonforpeterbishop · 03/04/2021 20:45

@SnackSizeRaisin agree.
People are missing the point. It’s not about breastfeeding it’s not about naked breastfeeding it’s about an overtly posed naked breastfeeding picture that’s been posted for thousands of strangers when her child has no say over the matter

OP posts:
Original poster
Swoonforpeterbishop · 03/04/2021 20:46

And I don’t think people realise how much info has been shared about the baby in question on Instagram which combined with the breastfeeding picture makes me uneasy

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 03/04/2021 21:25

I never got naked bf. One baby fed on one side, both sides let down and if I was naked we both got covered lol

IndecentFeminist · 03/04/2021 21:53

Are people genuinely still comparing this to anonymous adverts or posters? That latter poster is absolutely nothing in comparison.

Frogartist · 03/04/2021 22:27

@Swoonforpeterbishop

And I don’t think people realise how much info has been shared about the baby in question on Instagram which combined with the breastfeeding picture makes me uneasy
Well, no we don't realise this, because we don't know who this is and we haven't seen the photo.

I am just wondering why you are singling out this lady when there are so many other people also posting nude photos of their children, breast feeding or not breastfeeding.

Original poster
Swoonforpeterbishop · 03/04/2021 23:43

@Frogartist the photo has been posted up thread. It’s the black and white one.
I’m not singling her out as such it’s just the only one I’ve seen recently as it popped up on my newsfeed (I don’t follow her).
I was just trying to articulate the fact that I’m not offended by the picture or by breastfeeding or by women’s bodies but the privacy issue for the child and the posting it on a public forum.
If others have done the same, I feel exactly the same way about their pictures too, I just haven’t seen them

OP posts:
dammit88 · 04/04/2021 08:12

Please tell us who it is! She obviously doesn't mind people seeing it as she has posted it in social media! Id like to look at the page ...

Wherediditgo · 04/04/2021 11:07

I don’t like it.
Not because of the BF, or that fact it’s a toddler (BF my own for nearly 2 years)
I don’t like it for the same reason I don’t like most shite posted over social media.
Monetising fucking everything. Everything is for likes because everyone wants to be a bloody influencer. I feel like I’m in a parallel universe sometimes. Consumerism has gone mental.

Hallyup5 · 04/04/2021 20:49

@Fembot123

What upsets you about it *@Hallyup5*
Nothing upsets me. I just have no wish to see a woman breastfeeding naked or in her underwear. I appreciate that many women do, I've done it plenty of times myself but I feel that, with that level of nudity, it should be a private moment between mum and baby. Makes it worse when it's splashed all over social media by some self-appointed 'influencer'.