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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Everyone moaning about why lockdown is so hard for them

139 replies

1onway1under12and1over18 · 02/04/2021 20:08

Aibu but does everyone have a reason as to why in their specific circumstance lockdown has been the hardest for them. Be it living alone, living with partner, living with young kids, pregnant, given birth, furloughed, having to work, homeschooling...on & on. Everyone seems to think their particular circumstance is so much harder than the next person. We’ve all suffered, sacrificed, been through hell. Why does your home life/ reason make you more at reason to give up on restrictions / have had enough of it by now than the next person?

OP posts:
WolfMum · 02/04/2021 23:25

I find that everyone is getting a little taste of what it's like to live with a condition that essentially traps you in your own home. Something like Agoraphobia for example. People with these conditions don't get to moan about it. They're barely even noticed, and essentially just told to take their meds and shut up. Now that everyone is getting a taste of what it's like to be stuck at home all the time, they can see just how bad that actually is... All I can do is feel sorry for people suffering with these conditions.

CirqueDeMorgue · 02/04/2021 23:33

The only reason I haven't cracked is that I've been seeing a couple of people who are closest to me even though I shouldn't have been. 🤷‍♀️

transformandriseup · 02/04/2021 23:43

Everyone seems to think their particular circumstance is so much harder than the next person

I think most people who have moaned about their situation during lockdown don't think this at all. So many people have found the last year difficult and their feelings are valid even if there are others who had it worse or who coped with the situation better.

Plus you're moaning too Smile

stayathomer · 02/04/2021 23:46

Well they're experiencing it so I suppose they're just trapped in this blinkered unending cycle. I get it. Try not to let it get to you OP, the people experiencing it dont need you being irritated and you don't need it either

LolaButt · 02/04/2021 23:53

Widowed, working full time, home schooling young kids, no support on a practical level because we’ve been adhering to the rules. Unable to access proper bereavement support for the traumatised children. Children struggling to understand the world and panicking that their remaining parent will catch COVID and leave them orphaned etc etc.

So yeah. I will moan about it being shit. I will also listen to the moans of others in better positions who are also finding it hard.

It’s called empathy.

Mittens030869 · 03/04/2021 00:10

I’ve had Long Covid since the end of February last year, so I’ve been stuck inside the house most of the time, so lockdown hasn’t been the nightmare it has been for some. Or rather, it’s been a nightmare but not because of being stuck at home.

But it has been really hard for my adopted DDs (12 and 9) and for my DH, who was off work between November and January because of stress.

So we really are looking forward to this coming to an end.

QueenPaw · 03/04/2021 00:59

@WolfMum definitely. When I was a carer I would care for people who were in bed 24/7 and with no visitors. That's shit

Ttbhappy · 03/04/2021 09:24

Shall we tell our kids the be kind concept didn't hang about then...

LolaSmiles · 03/04/2021 09:40

Just all let's be kind and support each other through these difficult times. People may come across as moaning to you but maybe that is there way of expressing and or dealing with the pain that I think everyone is going through mentally and maybe physically.
I agree. I've not got any issues with people saying it's been shit for them. It's been shit for me in many ways, and in other ways I've had it much easier than others.

If one of my friends is having a rubbish time then I'm going to listen to them because that is their struggle. Same if someone needs to let off steam at work.

But what I wouldn't do, which I've seen some people do, is hear someone else having a rough time and instantly have to turn it round into why my situation is worse than theirs. It's competitive misery and in my experience the people who do this are moaning Minnie's who will always find something to moan about (eg. one moaning Minnie I know managed to turn a passing comment about the photocopier jamming up part way through a big job into a story about why her life is so dramatic).
Equally, I'm not going to turn any conversation back to a story about why my situation is awful because it's almost being an emotional vampire to others.

WaltzForDebbie · 03/04/2021 10:18

I'm really glad people are moaning. We need more moaning!

The government are quietly taking more and more powers and people are just sitting by. There is a bill going through at the moment to effectively outlaw protests permanently. (Police can quash any protest they deem disruptive). The government are close to backtracking on their promises not to introduce vaccine passports and create a two tier society based on people's health status. The government have set a scary precedent that they can lockdown society for any reason in the future.

It feels like a very long "three weeks".

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 03/04/2021 10:34

Ever since Dominic Cummings was not sacked or even because he was allowed to justify his visit to Barnard Castle, it has given free rein to those who want to find an excuse to support their behaviour.

There have always been people who think somehow they are so special that a rule or rules should not apply to them or their family. Almost any teacher will tell you about a parent or parents who feel entitled somehow and should be treated differently.

And there are always people who moan, the phrase 'first world problems' says a lot.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 03/04/2021 10:40

Aside from everything else, one thing that I think has been overlooked is that trying to deal with anything practical and administrative has become twice as stressful because Covid, and can take three times as long. Endless being on hold phone calls with the irritating music and looped messages saying go to our website - which has no solution, hence why I'm phoning - plus Covid messages.......

People have very different situations to deal with, and in areas such as bereavement, hard enough to cope with in normal times, it can feel like you personally have been singled out for the shittest time ever no matter how hard you try to rationalise. It took me six months to retrieve my Mum's ashes last year (She died of cancer at the end of last April).

Virtually nothing is the same, we have the rules, the vaccine, the endless hokey cokey of restrictions - accepting it all "for the greater good" when much has deteriorated is really hard when there are flaws and hypocrisy rampant.

Competitive moaners, or people trying to share?

Trivial to one is a massive deal to another, and I wouldn't presume to judge, even if I felt a flicker of irritation. I'd rather stand somewhat united than be part of the ever widening divisions going on right now.

DefinitelyOdd · 03/04/2021 10:42

I would rather have people openly say they are struggling then them bottling it up and doing something rash and potentially devastating. This has been an incredibly hard time for people and the impact on mental health is appalling. Its not about comparison or one upmanship its about supporting each other and sometimes that means letting people moan about something that you don't see as a big deal.

And the WW2 analogies can do one. Do people honestly think that nobody was impacted? That the parents who had to evavuate their children didn't care or feel upset? That the people who lost friends and neighbours had no emotional response?

thebillyotea · 03/04/2021 10:49

Everyone moaning about why lockdown is so hard for them
because it is? Hmm
It's more sad if the lockdown is improving your life frankly.

does everyone have a reason as to why in their specific circumstance lockdown has been the hardest for them I don't know anyone pretending they have it hardER, or some people will reasonably justify it.

If you are stuck in a 2 bed flats with 3 kids, it's hardER than having a 5 bed detached in the country.
If you have your family living in the same town and you have been meeting them regularly, it's hardER than people who genuinely isolated.
If you have seen your business collapse under your eyes, it's hardER than someone who saved a lot of money WFH.

What's your problem 1onway1under12and1over18? You are miffed that you don't get the sympathy votes and people are not blown away by your miserable experience and your resilience or something?

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