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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Everyone moaning about why lockdown is so hard for them

139 replies

1onway1under12and1over18 · 02/04/2021 20:08

Aibu but does everyone have a reason as to why in their specific circumstance lockdown has been the hardest for them. Be it living alone, living with partner, living with young kids, pregnant, given birth, furloughed, having to work, homeschooling...on & on. Everyone seems to think their particular circumstance is so much harder than the next person. We’ve all suffered, sacrificed, been through hell. Why does your home life/ reason make you more at reason to give up on restrictions / have had enough of it by now than the next person?

OP posts:

bloodywhitecat · 02/04/2021 20:24

Lockdown has been hard here, DP was sick and eventually diagnosed with terminal cancer which we have mainly faced alone and unsupported. I think lockdown made that so much harder but others may disagree.

TheFormerChild · 02/04/2021 20:25

Lockdown has been a bit of a bummer for me.
But I live alone so don't have to factor in annoying people ( I think anyone, including me would be annoying after some months)!
I don't have to fret about anyone bringing Covid into my house.
I haven't touched a human since lockdown began, but on my short walks I've been so pleased to have met so many friendly dogs who've made a fuss of me, and I of them.
So far, I'm coping, and not complaining ~ long may this last.

LubaLuca · 02/04/2021 20:26

I haven't heard anyone claiming to have had it worse than anyone else, and I know some people who've really suffered because of covid. We've all had a little grumble for myriad reasons, but never in a competitive woe way.

shittingthreeeyedraven · 02/04/2021 20:26

@NutellaEllaElla

Some people are just moaners.

I've found parents to be complaining the most. Apparently having to care for own your kids full time is the worst thing ever.

It’s not looking after my own child I object to, in fact I loved having dc at home all the time and actually seeing them. I treasured lockdown for that reason.

What I objected to was trying to teach remotely, full time, on life lessons while having my child at home. A toddler, a laptop and a class of 25 teenagers isn’t ideal, trust me! And I can’t just rearrange meetings/flexiwork/wait for nap time as a teacher unless you want your children’s education messed up even more than it has been

XenoBitch · 02/04/2021 20:27

Lockdown has affected every single person, and some are dealing with it better than others. I would rather listen to someone that is finding things tough than dismiss or invalidate them, and then go on to find out they did something drastic.

user1471453601 · 02/04/2021 20:27

We are mostly in the same shit, it's just that the sh it is different for each of us.

So, one next door neighbour is isolating for the fifth time since October, the others Ndns husband has died, his funeral is this werk, one friends sister died, she got to go to the funeral,but couldn't give I receive comfort, another friend had a stroke during Autumn lock down. And on it goes.

If course everyone has their own son stories. But if they are not giving up, neither am i.

We are mostly all in the shit. Different circumstances, but still shit

Chicchicchicchiclana · 02/04/2021 20:29

And I sympathise with NHS workers who have had to witness a greater number of deaths in their patients whilst also putting themselves at risk every day. Of course I do. But they still have jobs with decent pay and a decent pension. I have friends in the NHS who have worked their socks off and I have friends in other professions who haven't earned a penny or been furloughed who are looking at decimation of their future. It has been truly horrible.

FireflyRainbow · 02/04/2021 20:50

I've enjoyed lockdown. I've not known anyone who has died. I've still been out at work but everythings been closed so I now have savings. Got to spend loads of time with my children and taken lovely long walks. My children excelled at home learning and completed all of the assessments. They wanted to home school forever. Its been a nice time for our little family.

nordica · 02/04/2021 20:51

I think it's just put a magnifying glass on everyone's situation, and it's easy to end up comparing yourself with everyone else.

I know for me it's really, really highlighted how unusual it is that I have pretty much no family (I literally have 2 living relatives). Suddenly everyone is talking about endless Zoom parties, family WhatsApp groups, not being able to see their many siblings etc. In that sense I've never felt more alone than I've done during the pandemic even though I've lived alone for years and was quite used to not having a big family Christmas or birthdays and so on. Other people just didn't talk about their families as much as they've done when they've been separated so I rarely thought about mine.

Dutchesss · 02/04/2021 20:52

I've found parents to be complaining the most. Apparently having to care for own your kids full time is the worst thing ever.

I love caring for my own children, I love days out at the zoo and meeting with friends. I love home activities like baking and crafts. I do not love the extreme guilt of having to ignore my children for 8 hours a day while I do a full on job. I do not love trying to be their teacher sticking to a rigid structure when they are not used to their time with me being like that.

PegLegAntoine · 02/04/2021 20:53

Many of the posts I’ve seen about struggling in lockdown have included a disclaimer about how they know everyone is struggling and/or they know others have it worse etc.

Even the posts from people at breaking point haven’t given me an “I have it worse than anyone else” impression.

LyndaSnellsSniff · 02/04/2021 20:54

@NutellaEllaElla are you my MIL? 🧐

Junipersky · 02/04/2021 20:55

I've found it tough being away from my 21 year old son I must admit.
I still can't see him now. I could see him at 2 metres apart, but sadly when we tried, he didn't understand why his carers were blocking him from getting to me to give a me a hug. He might be 21, but in his mind he is just a baby who wants to be with his Mum. Completely non verbal, so can't understand the rules at all.
I thought it would be kinder to both him and my younger children to wait until the restrictions are lifted but we have no date for that as yet. It's just heartbreaking.
I'm finding it tough at the moment, but I know lots of other people are too.

jessstan2 · 02/04/2021 20:56

People get fed up and offload on here. Better to do it here, anonymously, than in real life. Then they get on with what they can, within the restrictions.

Wishihadanalgorithm · 02/04/2021 20:57

Maybe lockdown is just very hard for a lot of people for various and personal reasons?

Anyone who has told me how tough it has been for them has also accepted it is tough for others in different ways. Maybe I just know only lovely, accepting people?

Bringallthebiscuits · 02/04/2021 21:02

I've found parents to be complaining the most. Apparently having to care for own your kids full time is the worst thing ever.

It can take years for children to receive a diagnosis for some conditions through the NHS, so during lockdowns some people have been trying to home school children who potentially have learning disabilities (but would usually be attending regular school), whilst also looking after younger siblings or working.

Starlightstarbright1 · 02/04/2021 21:04

We have been in at least some level of lockdown for at least a year.

I doubt many people haven't suffered. People need to be able to express their struggles. I also haven't heard its harder than anyone else. Just its been hard

DancyNancy · 02/04/2021 21:04

Of course some ppl find it harder
Personality, financial circumstances, family situation. It all varies.
My friend is newlywed with her hubby living in a beautiful location, both working full time, no kids, does leisure activities like sea swimming, cycling, running local to home (even pre covid). She says she's just bored by not beingable to go shopping but life is relativelynormal otherwise.
I have 3 young kids, 2 jobs, one in healthcare, my husband works full time in full PPE. OBE of my jobs went wfh so was doing that while home schooling. Fil very I'll and had a lot of medical care cancelled due to covid, has now deteriorated so much that previously planned surgeries cant be done so MIL is caring for him full time and we need to help (happy to help but worry re covid transmission from us to them).

So ya, my friend has pointed out regularly how she thinks I have had a way harder situation than her that has left me so stretched, stressed and triggered a 3 month depression.

But, my personality is anxious anyway so this extra stress took a big toll on me whereas someone more laid back might have hardly batted an eyelid

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 02/04/2021 21:05

I think I'm suffering from agoraphobia now. I dont even want to go out or see anyone any more.

Samcro · 02/04/2021 21:05

@Junipersky

I've found it tough being away from my 21 year old son I must admit. I still can't see him now. I could see him at 2 metres apart, but sadly when we tried, he didn't understand why his carers were blocking him from getting to me to give a me a hug. He might be 21, but in his mind he is just a baby who wants to be with his Mum. Completely non verbal, so can't understand the rules at all. I thought it would be kinder to both him and my younger children to wait until the restrictions are lifted but we have no date for that as yet. It's just heartbreaking. I'm finding it tough at the moment, but I know lots of other people are too.

So sorry you are going through this, must be so hard. I was going to post about how hard it has been not being able to hug or have my severely disabled dd home. But youave reminded me that at least i get to have sd visits with her. Hope you see your son soon.

Conuregreen · 02/04/2021 21:07

@NutellaEllaElla I dont think it's the thing of having to be a full time parent, but more so the point that there are no outlets for parents. Before being with a demanding young child was much easier as parents could take their children to parks, play areas, to see family or friends. Things that filled up the day and took away their boredom. Now I think you find some parents are coped in small spaces, such as flats, where their children are wanting more stimulation and entertainment than they can offer whilst also trying to juggle working and time for themselves. Cut them a break.

DancyNancy · 02/04/2021 21:07

@Junipersky hugs to you that must be incredibly hard xx

RoseAndRose · 02/04/2021 21:12

Richard Okorogheye, a CEV 19 year old student, remains missing (without his medal) and was last seen approaching Epping Forest

His lockdown was stricter than for most, and at may or may not have been a factor in his disappearance

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-56604588

(Londoners - look at the link if you're not already familiar with this case: were you in any of the places where he was picked up by CCTV - did you see him?)

RoseAndRose · 02/04/2021 21:13

'Medal' is DYAC for 'meds'

Livelovebehappy · 02/04/2021 21:16

It’s all about individual personalities too. Some people are glass half full, and adapt to difficult situations with a positive mindset. others are natural Half glass empty, where it doesn’t take a lot to push them over the edge. We all react to a crisis in different ways.

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