Everyone moaning about why lockdown is so hard for them

[1onway1under12and1over18]

Aibu but does everyone have a reason as to why in their specific circumstance lockdown has been the hardest for them. Be it living alone, living with partner, living with young kids, pregnant, given birth, furloughed, having to work, homeschooling...on & on. Everyone seems to think their particular circumstance is so much harder than the next person. We’ve all suffered, sacrificed, been through hell. Why does your home life/ reason make you more at reason to give up on restrictions / have had enough of it by now than the next person?

My perfect husband died suddenly at the age of 42 leaving me with a 3 year old. That's been pretty shit, yeah.

@1onway1under12and1over18

Aibu but does everyone have a reason as to why in their specific circumstance lockdown has been the hardest for them. Be it living alone, living with partner, living with young kids, pregnant, given birth, furloughed, having to work, homeschooling...on & on. Everyone seems to think their particular circumstance is so much harder than the next person. We’ve all suffered, sacrificed, been through hell. Why does your home life/ reason make you more at reason to give up on restrictions / have had enough of it by now than the next person?

No one has said it it the hardest for them but ultimately my family comes first and I am not prepared to sacrifice their or my mental health any longer. Each person needs to do what is right for them and their family IMO. There’s all manner of diseases out there, including the flu, which ultimately will be lethal to some people sadly. Death is part of life and at some stage people need to accept that you can’t save everyone, there needs to be a balance. Lockdown itself has caused deaths although that’s a fact many like to deny.

I haven’t moaned. I lost my baby just over a month before the first lockdown and spent most of last year in grief over his death.

Lockdown has been difficult for a lot of people and I can sympathise with ppl who have lost loved ones, jobs etc but for me it was a reason to not engage with the outside world.

So I think YABU- not everyone is complaining

People who I feel really sorry for -

People who've died because of covid or had someone close to them die because of it. Anyone currently with long Covid or who's suffered healthwise because of it, including delays to appointments and cancellations of major treatments & surgeries.

Anyone who's had to suffer a bereavement, covid related or not, during this difficult time and who have not been able to grieve or attend a funeral in their desired way.

Pregnant women and new mums - post natal depression can be bad enough without the isolation of Covid put on top of it.

Anyone who has to self isolate and live alone, or anyone who lives alone at the time and feels isolated, anyone who feels like they don't have anyone to take care of them or who they can depend on in this difficult time.

Anyone who has had to endure or live with an abusive partner at a time where it would have been even more difficult for them to get out or move.

Anyone facing serious financial hardship because their business is now non-existant or they've lost their job.

Highly extroverted people.

Children - especially small children who need to play and socialise with other babies in order to develop. Children who are having their education affected because they don't live in nice quiet homes where they can study, don't have private tutors to help them along, and have to live in cramped conditions.

Anyone who has to live in block of flats with no outdoor space, not easy access to green space, or who has noisy/dysfunctional /selfish neighbors who are making their lives extra hard right now.

Anyone who works in health or care and the increased pressure and exhaustion they have to endure, and have to put up with patronising, meaningless gestures from the government whist being paid pittance in some cases.

I'm sure I've left people out of that list but that's who I can think of for the time being. However, a lot of people aren't in situations I can easily sympathise with but seem to have a lack of perspective. It's like they think they were destined to have an easy, fabulous life with no major disruptions and are incredibly angry and self-pitying about the fact that this is happened. It's fine they have negative emotions about it but there's a particular tone to some people's articulations that suggest they think they were somehow special in all of this. That they were singled out by God somehow to be spared the shittyness, and because they weren't, they're very angry and want someone to answer for it. They want their money back, so to speak, but they don't know how how and where exactly to direct that disappointment.

@Greenbks

I haven’t moaned. I lost my baby just over a month before the first lockdown and spent most of last year in grief over his death.

Lockdown has been difficult for a lot of people and I can sympathise with ppl who have lost loved ones, jobs etc but for me it was a reason to not engage with the outside world.

So I think YABU- not everyone is complaining

Sorry your loss :( I wish you comfort, peace and healing xx

@1onway1under12and1over18 Can I ask how Covid has affected you? Have you lost anyone dear to you?

My family stuck completely to the guidelines and we isolated. However, I lost my dh and soul mate because of Covid and that’s why I do think it’s been much worse for me and my family, than it has been for many others!

@peachgreen

My perfect husband died suddenly at the age of 42 leaving me with a 3 year old. That's been pretty shit, yeah.

That's really shit

you don't sound like you don't have much imagination, Op

home-schooling primary school aged kids while working full time would certainly have seen me off
luckily i don't work and my kids are in secondary education
but i can grasp how dire lockdown must have been for some

I've never seen anyone say it's hardest for them. You can find lockdown tough and still realise it's hard for others too.

Lockdown hasn't made a massive difference to me, just jade life rather dull. But I'm not so insensitive that I'm not aware of people who have had a shit time. Some have had devastating diagnoses or bereavements without their usual support networks, some have lost their income, some have struggled with stressful jobs at the same time as homeschooling. I know a young man who moved to a new city to start his career the week before lockdown - stuck in a bedsit, training then working sitting on his bed knowing no one within 100 miles. If all those people can't vent we have reached a very sorry state of affairs.

[quote Tootsee]**@1onway1under12and1over18 Can I ask how Covid has affected you? Have you lost anyone dear to you?

My family stuck completely to the guidelines and we isolated. However, I lost my dh and soul mate because of Covid and that’s why I do think it’s been much worse for me and my family, than it has been for many others![/quote]
@Tootsee I think it has for you. Sorry for your loss :(

I have been wondering at all the recent posts and complaints (including from many people i know in rl) who have had babies in the past couple of weeks, can apparently not cope now with a newborn baby and a toddler so the restrictions no longer apply to them. However they did get pregnant during a pandemic with pregnancy announcements such as 'we didn't social distance' What did they honestly expect was going to happen (bar the unplanned pregnancies) some romantic idea about a baby boom and how these would be the babies conceived through love in lockdown! Now many of them feel they are so hard done by and the rules can't possibly apply to them anymore.

So, so sorry for your losses

I can check my privilege and feel blessed but that doesn't stop me:
Missing my friends
Missing my family
Worrying about my DC who are 22 and 25 and at uni but at home
Generally feeling frustrated because there's so little to look forward to (well there is now, the shops open next week)
Jan/Feb were hard with the short days
Work is a social construct and wfh and zoom is not the same
I have never worked so hard in my life as the last year- it has been intense.

I cannot begin to imagine how awful it must have been for parents of young doc, single mothers especially, those without outdoor space, not enough space, not enough money, not enough help, who are lonely or unwell or anxious. I know I have sometimes had to exercise mind over matter and face next to no life challenges.

I think it's easy to focus too hard on people we think are moaning too much or people who seem to be breaking the "rules", or ... etc.

I'd say the majority of us are having a relatively hard time of it, some more than others. I had issues from the middle of last year until February that made it particularly hard and I know I "moaned" a bit more then and I'm moaning a bit less now although I am (mostly jokingly) moaning that I will be spending two of my birthdays in a lockdown where the shops are closed and it's just not fair!

I don't know, maybe we all just have to give ourselves and others a bit of a break and realise that all of us, as in life in general outside of lockdown, are dealing with shit at some point or other.

Lockdown has been shit. Under no illusions that it's been nowhere near as shit for us as it has been for many others. Don't think I've complained too much to others tbh. You never know what they're dealing with.

I've found parents to be complaining the most. Apparently having to care for own your kids full time is the worst thing ever

Oh do fuck off.

Having to ‘care for your own kids’ full time whilst also trying to work full time is a horrible experience for everyone. That level of intense stress sustained over months and months has been incredibly damaging for a lot of parents and children.

And OP, everybody is complaining because it’s been a miserable experience for everyone and many are at breaking point. Being unhappy about the situation doesn’t mean you think you’ve got it worse than everyone else.

Think you are being a bit harsh op it’s been hard for 99% of the population so of course we are going to have a good moan.
You wouldn’t tell someone with a broken leg that they can’t complain about the pain just because someone else has cancer would you?

Completely agree with last two posts. A lot of people have struggled. Really hate all of this I don't deem someone to be suffering so therefore shut up. I volunteer on a helpline and it doesn't matter whether someone has a "perfect" family life or lives on their own, everyone has their own story and their own problems. Seems compassion is in short supply with some.

I've never seen anyone say it's hardest for them. You can find lockdown tough and still realise it's hard for others too.

I agree. It's been tough for lots of people in different ways.

I think some people do display drain, moaning Minnie behaviour, some people are quick to turn any conversation into their own personal pity party, and I don't think those people have stopped existing just because covid exists.

If I think back to a former workplace (pre covid), one colleague could be guaranteed to have a tale about how it's worse for them. This would happen on anything from someone saying they feel a bit under the weather from an annoyingly persistent cold, through to someone talking about how they're having to travel to view care homes for their ageing parent.

It's draining to be around people who have to find a way to turn everything into their own personal pity party.

I’ll happily admit that I’ve had an easier time of lockdown than probably 99% of people. I’m lucky.

It’s really shitty, though. Everyone misses their freedom, friends/family, having a life etc.
I don’t think it’s been easy for anyone, albeit certain elements have been exceptionally difficult for some people.

For myself, partner and DD lickdown to a certain degree has been very kind to us. We've finally been able to save, do work around the house that we'e always wanted to do. That is the upside.
Downside - was furloughed for 4 months and stressed the entire time about losing my job (I didn't thankfully); my mum has had lung cancer, only has quarter of one lung and unhealthy other lung, daily doorstep visits were great until one day my mum completely broke down as she was not able to have a bath without me or my sister there to help her and hadn't been able to wash her hair in god knows how long.
Have WFH all year (apart from furlough period) with a 10 year old. Being tied to a laptop forn8 hours a day in a demanding often stressful whilst trying to homeschool has not been a walk in the park.
All 3 of us catching covid just before Christmas was horrendous, partner on the cusp of being hospitalised, thank god he wasn't; not being able to literally do anything for 3 weeks as we were too weak. Even wet the bed as I didn't have the energy to get to the toilet.
It hasn't been pleasant but its also not the worst experience in my life.

I still think, and am very thankful, that I've not had it as bad a some x

Because I'm a natural misery and moaner. And there's nothing to distract like meals out coffee out meeting up with friends and nowhere to go. No shops. No nothing.

I mean my relationship literally ended because we are now in separate countries and have been for over a year but yeh that’s the same as the people I know who can’t go on holiday 👍

If anything I’ve noticed people being told off for saying they’re struggling, because there are people worse off dontyaknow.

Why shouldn’t people say when they are struggling? It’s been shit in lots of different ways for pretty much everybody. Yeah some people have it objectively worse but struggling is struggling, and it’s an unhealthy world indeed if people are discouraged, told off, for expressing that they’re having a difficult time.