Are forever houses real?

[LovingLivingLife]

I can't work out if I am being unreasonable to hold out for the 'forever' house.

We are outgrowing our current house and especially with us all being home it's getting a bit tight. We've seen a house that is bigger but I don't think is really big enough for when kids are teenagers. Husband loves it and wants to put an offer in. I'm worried we will outgrow it in 5-10 years and have to move again, I don't really want that.

This house is comfortably in budget and we could move straight away. It could be a year or maybe more before we could find and afford the forever house (small village, low housing stock).

So did you buy your forever house when starting a family? Is that still a real thing? Or AIBU to expect this to still be possible with the current housing market and prices?

5-10 years is plenty of time to anticipate being in a house before your next move

Kirsty Allsop said to be successful with property is to move up the ladder is as few steps as possible. I wouldn’t buy a house with kids thinking I’d need to sell again in 5 years time- 5years flies by. I’d prob suck up the compromise for another year.

Why do you think it’s not big enough for teens OP? They’re out a lot of the time surely?

We held out for a 4 bed detached house, the spare bedrooms are a little smaller than we’d like, but fit double beds so will be totally fine. I don’t envisage moving again, even as teens- I grew up in a house smaller than this one and was fine.

I didn't want a so called forever house. Lots of people do and I'm not wishing to comment on those who have, but it is definitely not something I aspired to when I was younger or even now.

Not before starting a family - I think its really difficult to envisage how you'll use space with children as opposed to a couple. We had 3 under 5 when we bought our current (forever) house. It had potential to extend (which we didn't do for a few years) but I think it comes down to what you want from a "forever" house.

We wanted somewhere to put down roots (we'd moved around quite a bit) in catchment for primary & secondary so they could all walk to school, in a great location for work / amenities, with enough space (or ability to create space) for a family of 5.

My teen takes up less space than my tot (less paraphernalia, more static) though costs a lot more money!

I would buy the house that you love now, your needs might change in a way that's unpredictable over the next decade.

I think if you hold out for a forever house you may be priced out of the market. Your housing needs change as you go through life and what you may think of as a forever house may well not suit you in 20 years time if your children have left home.

I also think if you keep holding out you’ll be one of these folks who never move. A house for the next decade is a great position to be in. A lot can happen in that time. And kids aren’t teens for long, they soon move out after that,

Another one who thinks teens don't take up much space. We live in a 3 bed flat - the teens have a box room each. It's fine.

You might find your forever house but not your forever neighbours! Move now while it’s easy then if needs be move again later .

We're in our forever house. We didn't think it would be when we moved here, as it was house number 5, but we've never seen anywhere else we like more. So we're still here 30 years later!

You can only choose the 'house for now'.

Not a forever house, but we bought our current one when my eldest was due to start primary school intending to stay there until the kids go to Uni.

It gets messy to move once they are settled and it's much easier to settle as much as possible within catchment and stay there.

It's not impossible, and we might have reasons to change at some point of course, but we didn't plan to have to. We might even relocate completely.

We never predicted the pandemic, and if we can all WFH, we could move to a cheaper area which would be nice. The premium you pay for being commutable to London next to the good schools are ridiculous.

The problem with teens is when they are becoming "young adults".

Arrangements suitable for your 14 year old might be less pleasant when they start hanging with friends, and when they are 19 expecting to bring a girlfriend, let alone start a job and stay home for awhile to save for a deposit.

You can only plan so far ahead anyway...

I agree re teenagers . They are out a lot and all they need is food and a phone . As opposed to when they were babies !!! The amount of stuff .

I don't think there's any such thing as a forever house. There are houses which suit your needs now and for the next however many years, that's all. A house that is suitable for a young family might not be what you want with teenagers and requirements may change again when children leave home. We're house hunting at the moment, and we are after buying something completely different to previously, no need to worry about decent schools now for example.

I think forever homes are a nonsense. I always think of the saying: If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Anything in life can and does happen; illness, deaths, divorce, births, boredom, redundancy, pandemics...I think you should buy a house that suits you for now and the foreseeable future but to plan on it being a forever home is just tempting fate.

We've seen a house that is bigger but I don't think is really big enough for when kids are teenagers.

Has it got really low ceilings?

Seriously though, we bought our three bed house 20 years ago. If we'd had children it would still have worked. As it is we have the "luxury" of two spare bedrooms but we have no intention of ever moving again.

So in answer to your question, yes a forever home can exist.

We moved into our forever home last year. Youngest DC is 14. Couldn’t afford it before. Do what works for you now - who knows what the future will bring

I think the days when you bought a house and spent your life there, because your work and your family/friends stayed there are long gone.

It was much more common for your great-grand-parent to die in the house they were born in! So "forever houses" probably mean "long-term houses" today.

Moving during the school years can be a pain.

@AnnaFiveTowns

I think forever homes are a nonsense. I always think of the saying: If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Anything in life can and does happen; illness, deaths, divorce, births, boredom, redundancy, pandemics...I think you should buy a house that suits you for now and the foreseeable future but to plan on it being a forever home is just tempting fate.

Completely agree.

I will be selling my 'forever house' next year. Circumstances change. It's a fact of life

It think most of us buy the ‘best I can afford house’. ‘Forever home’ is for rescue pets.

It's unlikely that a large family home will be ideal after everyone's left and you are getting old. Lots of people downsize. So no such thing as a forever home.

I don’t understand the concept of a forever house. We’re in our second house. Our first suited us as a couple and this one suits us as a family of four. We’ve been here 14 years I anticipate once the kids have finished school (5 years) we will move as I have fallen out of love with the area. Whether we downsize will depend on whether the kids leave home or stay until they can afford to buy. At some point we will down size to our last home to accommodate older age, free up some equity for retirement and less of an upkeep.

We are in our forever house after being in military housing for 15yrs. I wish I'd done it sooner tbh but as other posters have said, waiting means you may price yourself out of the market.

I agree with previous poster, forever houses don’t really exist, as circumstances can change pretty drastically.

We have just sold our family house, what a lot of people would think of as a forever house, huge detached, 5 bed, three bathrooms, conservatory, double garage, we lived there for nearly 18 years, moved in with 2 yo and 7mth old baby, brought the biggest house, in the nicest area we could afford, and of course we knew we wouldn’t need to move if we increased the size our family.

What we didn’t imagine happening with me was being dx with Multiple Sclerosis, which made owning such a big house, problematic especially as with shielding I had to let my lovely cleaner/friend go, impossible to cope with, stairs etc.

We have now downsized to a 3 double bed, 2 bath bungalow, much more manageable, ramp up to the front door, much more future proof, but I still don’t think we will be here forever, we shall probably downsize again, when our boys leave home.

I will never regret buying our previous family home, it was wonderful for my children to grow up in, and we sold it for over double what we originally paid for it.