to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

[newnails]

i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

Haven't read the whole thread, can see it's got very heated. All I'll say is that some people really really need the benefits and I'm not having a go at them, just that some people really do take the pi*s and the system doesn't seem right to me. We know someone whose kids are about 8/10 yrs old, used to have a comfortable living years ago - big house, nice clothes, her hubby had good job but then he went wild and they split and yes, she needed help and got a place the council pay for and benefits etc. This was years and years ago when the kids were little and still she's not working, they are at school all day and yes she has housework to do etc but no more than working people do etc. She was always lazy and has obviously decided it's much easier to continue with the benefits and do nothing else. God knows what she'll do when the kids are grown up.

Anyway, not saying everyone is like this, just that a fair few are unfortunately. Then we had to go on benefits for a very short time when dh was out of work, he finally managed to get a temp job after 3 months but due to depression he forgot to tell them immediately. He then one day phoned them (it was only a few weeks or so after) to let them know what date he started working etc. so they could work out what he owed back etc and guess what.......they had him in for a VERY SERIOUS meeting, all taped under caution - they said he commited benefit fraud!!

Right, leave the rest of you to it

Victorian Squaulor, I specifically stated those who claim unemployment benefit on the basis that they are prepared to work.

The fact that some claimants have children should not enter the equation.

In the same way that you look for work in an area that you are comfortable, ie experience,knowlege,travel time etc.

If you have children, that is your responsibility, and you should not expect anyone else to pay for you to sit at home an surf mumsnet!

You either work or you don't, and if you don't work, or are not prepared to then you should not expect to be paid.

because you are not providing for your own children ffs.

you are expecting other people to do that

[dog bangs head on wall several times, although she pays the rent on her own walls]

And Dog - why are you not ranting and raving about the absent parents who dont do anything to support them? My dd's father is the lazy git who should be going out to work.

But obviously single mums are the easy target for bigoted ignorant vitriol.

essbeeavenue I would love to know her secret too!!!!!!!!!!!

hear we go again shift the blame over to someone else.

my kids are the most important thing in my life and if me and dh split i would have to provide for my children, not hop skip and jump to the po every wednesday or whatever to pick up my giro then go home and sit and moan about how the father was not at work, bit like the pot calling the kettle black.

why do you people have no pride, why do you not want to provide for your own children???

Some posters on here seem to think it must be easy to get a job when unemployed. It's not no matter how many the local paper claim they are advertising.

Dp is reasonably well educated, hard working, good employment history, experienced in certain jobs and still took 7 months to get a job when he was unemployed (when local paper was advertising '10,000+' jobs. He wasn't fussy adn would take anything. He didn't need to be flexible and would work any hours.

When I went ot get job in June after finishing my degree, again I would take anything, reasonably flexible, good employment history up till 2 years ago when I had stopped working and I managed to get something within 5 months.

Friends of mine looking for jobs have all taken at least 6 months to find one - these are people again with good levels of education, good employment history, flexible.

We were both good candidates for employment and it still took a long time. If you were single parent, low education, no flexibility, little or no employment history/experience and the only person who could pick up kids sick from school etc - how easy exactly do you think it would be to get a job

Vat will not be included ecause the threshold is too low.

essbeavenue, I too have met lone parents that will be standing around gassing on their latest mobile phones, talking loudly about going 'up town' on friday and smoking, then popping into macdonalds to feed their kids because theyre too lazy to.

But I have also been in their houses and they have absolutely nothing in their cupboards, their children are wearing clothes that are too small and haven't cleaned their house properly in weeks, because cleaning products 'cost too much'

It's all a case of priorities.

There were times when I was a single parent I didn't eat more than toast for a week to be able to afford the two or three drinks I would buy when out, my exdp's mum would have my DD, I would go to a club where I knew the doormen (free entry) and DJ's (free house champagne for pretending it was my birthday)

There were other times, my DD needed clothes or I needed to do a decent shop including toiletries/clothes/cleaning products etc and I would again, go without food.

It was my choice to decide how to spend my money.

infact i give up, its sunday night and i have work in the morning, i still have to iron the school uniforms (that i had to buy on my own without any state help) and make up packed lunches (as we dont qualify for free school meals) but at least i am teaching my children how the real worls works. i could think of very little worse than my dc growing up to be like some of the wasters on this thread

oh adn getting a job involves knowing how to fill in forms, how to apply, how to do interviews, etc etc.

These are skills many have never been shown or taught.

Hear we go again shift the blame to someone else

Next thing you know dog will proclaim that single mothers have artificial insemination and there is no absent parent that help to creat a child (or god forbid shift the blame onto) - it only takes one person to make a child now don't you know?

but maybe the 'wasters' children will be taught compassion, empathy , and there but for the grace of god.. something you seem to be sadly lacking in , dog.

lets face it there are a good few out there who would not be able to pick out there childrens dad in a police line up

right def away now

Not sure if that was aimed at me but if it was.....this person I mentioned does NOT try to get a job, that is fact. She hasn't worked since she was 24/25 and she is now in her 40's. Work just isn't for her! I'm not saying that about others, I know how hard it can be. Dh is probably being made redundant for a 4th time and we're very worried (also have baby on the way) as last time it took 3 months to get any type of temp work or anything and in the past it's taken him ages. I was giving an example of someone I KNOW is like this.

The estate my friend grew up in (South Wales somewhere) had basically all the occupants living off benefits. Why? It had been built out of town, no jobs within close proximity. Anyone who couldn't travel (no car, limited hours due to child care) couldn't get a job. They were stuck on benefits full stop. It wasn't a choice.

dogthelazygithunter on Sun 11-Nov-07 17:42:33
totally shocking your poor dad

i bet she was a single mum who claims benefits

i think dog is out to get a rise out of everyone.. and is either a name changer, or a newbie with a big chip on his / her shoulder

if you are a name changer, why don;t you have the courage of your convictions, and say what you think under your regular name?

Shift the blame over to somebody else?

Oh yeah I forgot, my xp was in effing Spain when she was concieved, its not like its anything to do with him at all. Why should he be expected to pay towards the upkeep of his kids?

Starting to think you are a troll anyway, I'm not sure anyone can really be as ignorant, misogynistic, and judgemental as you appear to be.

Hey I clean toilets!!!! That's my job and I'm proud of it!!!

I clean toilets for terminally ill people that want to live in their own homes until they die. I work as a Home Help and cleaning their loos is part of my job.

And I earn just £6 per hour for it and its money well earnt and I'm grateful for every penny.

I don't do this job out of choice - I do it because it fits around school/playgroup runs and its a job I find rewarding being able to help others who are sadly very ill.

So there's nothing wrong in cleaning loos for a living cos I do it!!!!!!!

NoNameToday, I agree with your post of 18:40:28.

Dog, I think your attitude stinks, you have used horrid language at people time and again, and seem to be happy to judge others when you have never been in the situtaion yourself.

I really hope you never do.

ArmadilloDaMan, my DP also took 6 months to get a job, he has a degree, and some great sales/customer service experience, yet for those six months he was only able to get a job working weekends at PCWorld, who were reluctant to give him extra hours as they thought he was 'overqualified' and didn't want to be left in the lurch when he was offered something better.

However, if those on unemployment were restricted to a years worth of benefits, that would surely be reasonable??

But of course, that would only harm those who wanted to work, because the lazy feckers that didnt, would go to a job, never turn up,get scaked and be back on unemployment. If we try to punish those who dont want to work, we will inevitably punish those in genuine hardship

I wonder what will happen when this thread gets to 1000 messages Doesn't it stop you from posting when a thread reaches that many messages?

Why would they be any better placed to get a job in a year though?

If they haven't found one by then I would say it would be very unlikely for them to find one after that. The longer you are unemployed the more difficult it is to get a job.

Those who are in genuine need of benefits have no need to take any offence at anything I have posted on this thread.

Those who have abused and continue to abuse the welfare system to the detriment of the genuine should look to their conscience

Noname: Brilliantly summed up.

They wouldnt, however they would have had a good year to try to find something.

Also after a year, then if they were forced to come off benfits, then maybe they would find jobs that they had previously not considered (tescos,mcdonalds etc etc). I guarantee if there were no benfefits less people would be unemployed.

Like I said though, it would be those people who were really trying to get a job, not those who couldnt be bothered, that really suffered.