to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

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i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

Great post Rhubarb.

I also don't understand the obsession with having to have work that TOTALLY fits around school hours. Very few jobs do. So what most people do is scrimp and save and struggle to pay for the childcare that you need. And frankly, if you're talking about beginning and end of the school day, it's hardly going to take all your wages, even if you're on low pay. It's certainly nothing compared to paying nursery of childminder all day.

WHAT? How on earth are you expected to get children from the school to these other care providers?? I have a childminder for DD from 8:15am and she drops her at school, monday to friday, that costs us £17.50 a week, thats a huge chunk of earnings for half an hour if you're a single parent.

God peachy don't i know it! I thought paying nearly all my wages on nursery fees was bad enough, but in some ways it's more difficult (though cheaper)once the kids start school. We've really struggled over the years to find solutions to the problem. Rural areas are particularly hard i think.

Victoriansqualor - it's been a huge chunk of our earnings over the years too.

Journey, FWIW, my partner works about 30-60 minutes away from home depending on traffic, and doesnt get home until at least 6pm, IMO, during that school pick up time, I am as pressed as a single parent, I have to get buses into the town, then to the school, then back to town, then to my village, but I don't then have to go home knowing I am the only person these children can rely on to get anything.

So in one way, I think those parents who work and those parents that don't are within their rights just the same to comlain about childcare provision/school pick-ups/drop-offs, although in others we are much luckier.

Totally agree journey. Interesting that when i said earlier that I have to leave for work before my kids are up, the assumption was made that my partner must be here to do that for me!! Well, hello, he goes out to work too, and also has to leave the house by 7.30 am. But as you say, we're not allowed to complain!

VS the after school club here charges £11 per child per session- goodness, when i go abck to work that'll be £44 a day! .

Jurney- my sister has a similar situation, her DH is on call and can fly out to Singapore / Tahiland etc at an hours notice (trouble shooter type job). She works in a responsible job herself more locally (Nursery manager) and its really, really ahrd for her, but she doesn't complain (ab out most toehr tings, but not that ). Assuming that your post described you, you ahev my sympathies. No aprticualr grouping has a claim on 'hardship' and tjhat's perhaps the problem with this thread- single parents (I choose parents as I know some really struggling single dads), those coping with illness that makes them unable to work, the working poor or even poeple whose situations SEEM ideal (trust me on that, managing at HomeStart taught me that the worst hardships exist where you expect them least). What poeple need to be able to do is take a step back and understand that thinsga re very rarely what they seem. yes get angry about poeple breaking the law and claiming illegally- they do everyone a disservice!. But beyond that- tolerance is a great thing! that and an understanding that we cant possibly know everything about a situation.

inthegutter, of course you can complain, but if you decided to stay home and look after your children, or get a school hours job and claim tax credits whilst your dp/h worked, or vice versa, no-one would say anything, yet some of these parents that find it almost impossible to work are supposedly scroungers for doing so.

I still totally agree with any post that said there are some people out there that are too bloody lazy, and should try harder, but I don't think every lone parent should be forced to go to work because they are 'able'

Maybe the ideals of 'able' should be fitted around finding a job they could actually obtain at interview, fitting childcare around it, and being able to get from A to B in the required time.

*Then I would say, yes, those able in that sense, should go to work.

NoNameToday,
you still didn't answer what the people in 'the building' would be doing. I'm sure that you KNOW that your idea would be unworkable for many reasons and that why you were being so evasive about the details. It seems to be more punative and making others feel better than actually workable.
Oh and theres no need for the 'if you don't agree with me, then you are someone whos claiming benifits when you needent'sweeping statement,maybe people disagreed with you because you idea wasn't very good, maybe they have more knowledge and experience than you about this particular subject. You chose to put forward a suggestion without looking properly and the current system first when people challenged what you said instead of explaining further why you thought your system would work, or admitting that you hadn't though of XYZ, maybe this would work better instead, you've chosen to insult those who disagreed with you and dodge the issue.

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wow!!!!!!!

dc were ill on friday night and this is the first of me getting back on.

was not expecting this at all and have no say for obvious reasons i have not read the full thread

i was pissed of when i wrote the op on friday, i know the mums i was talking about pretty well because our children have gone through nursery/school together. i have no idea if they do fiddle the benefits or not all i know is what they shout about in the playground, they are not shy about how much money they have/claim to have.

they are possibly the worst example of single mums who claim benefits (i know for fact they are single and do claim benefits) imagine vicky pollard and this is what these mums are like.

i do not know all there financial details but they certinally dont live on the poverty line, and yes i would still say that they have far more disposable incame that what i do.

these mums dont work (yet again i know this to be fact) yet none of them have children younger than nursery age (although 1 of them is trying to get pregnant at the moment to one of the other mums ex partner) there would be nothing to stop them looking for a part time job but the local coffee house seems like a more appealing option.

i have no idea why its more appealing because at £3 a coffee its a luxury that families like mine cant afford (i.e 2 parents who work) it seems places like this are only available to the sorts of people i was about in my op.

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I think I'm going to leave this now and turn my comp off for the night as its old and needs its rest and I don't think much is being achieved here in the form of reasoned arguement or discussions into how to reform the welfare state to resolve the problems of the system (and as many have pointed out its much bigger than just the welfare state! drop in the ocean compared to corporate welfare)
its all about about insults and resentments and jealousy.

skeletonbones, I said that people who are in receipt of benefits on the basis that they are unemployed and looking/prepared to work, should spend the same amount of hours as those who actually do work, in a situation where they would do work such as was deemed sufficient to their capabilities.

In other words, they would not get money for staying at home, watching TV, playing with the kids, shopping etc. in fact all the things that working people would love to do but can't because they work to earn money.

You either understand that or you choose to find it difficult.

It's easy to me.

Oh fuck off Dog.

Why the buggery should a lone parent go out to work looking after other people's kids in order that they can pay someone else to look after their own while they are doing it? Why? Whats the sense in that?

I just don't get why looking after children is only considered worthwhile 'work' if they are not your own.

skeletonbones, I said that people who are in receipt of benefits on the basis that they are unemployed and looking/prepared to work, should spend the same amount of hours as those who actually do work, in a situation where they would do work such as was deemed sufficient to their capabilities.

In other words, they would not get money for staying at home, watching TV, playing with the kids, shopping etc. in fact all the things that working people would love to do but can't because they work to earn money.

You either understand that or you choose to find it difficult.

It's easy to me.

skeletonbones, I said that people who are in receipt of benefits on the basis that they are unemployed and looking/prepared to work, should spend the same amount of hours as those who actually do work, in a situation where they would do work such as was deemed sufficient to their capabilities.

In other words, they would not get money for staying at home, watching TV, playing with the kids, shopping etc. in fact all the things that working people would love to do but can't because they work to earn money.

You either understand that or you choose to find it difficult.

It's easy to me.

That seems clear enough to me nonametoday. And if someone claims to be wanting work and available for work and actively seeking work... I don't see that they would have a problem with it.

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NoNmaeToday, I agree people on unemployment benefit should be tested harder, they should be given stricter rules as to how they are to look for work and they should have a set amount of time to find a job before being forced into retraining (obviously what they need if they cant find a job)

However, I do not see that as an acceptable proposal for lone parents, if it is a two parent family, fine, decide which one is going to work between them and send them off on a job hunt, we all get to decide if when in a realtionship there is going to be a SAHP or not, so give them the same choice, but someone should go and do the jobseekers thing.

I have respect for most single Mum's cos they do a bloody good job with the little money they get!!

However my sister is a pain in the arse, and knows how to work the system to get as much money as possible.
She has 3 kids by three different dads, none of which are around, and she's always buying stuff, going out etc etc, whereas me and dh both work, but have to be really careful what we spend.

Seems a tad unfair really........

i was not saying they should only work with kids, i was giving the example that there are work hours to fit around your kids schooling, since your kids are so much more important than the rest of ours and could not possibly go to a childminder after school club

and as for why should you get a job thats easy

to be able to support your own fucking kids rather than expecting other people to do it for you

Noname didn't mention single parents. The post referred to people who claim to be available to work. PEOPLE, not male/female/lone/partnered. If you're not in a position to work, don't pretend that you are. Seems simple enough to me.

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My point was quite simple. If looking after someone else's kids is work that is worth payment, then why is looking after your own kids lazy?