to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

[newnails]

i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

Well, i am a single Mum of 4 on benifits. I just managed to scrape together enough money for food for the weekend. I have no idea how to afford christmas other than selling on Ebay/MN.

Oh and my washing machine is buggered.I can't afford to replace it at the moment!

Have they got other people contributing to their income newnails?
The only time we have ever been on benefits was when DH was made redundant and it was scary. Like tortoise - my washing machine chose that point to break down and we couldn't afford to replace it BUT my MIL did replace it. To any outsider it could have seemed we bought it though.

Takes the piss doesn't it..

Why, are your needs greater than a "single mum on benefits"?

Well im a single mum and i have a job! dont assume all single mums are on benefits

that's a point newnails - are you sure they are not working? Could well be if the children are in school.

Perish the thought that a single mother should have a car! They should walk! And as for being allowed to buy anything except turnips to make soup.........

I'm a working single mum but I get your point

Anyone saving £800 over two months either is not on benefits or has some other income to supplement it.

Hm, seeker, I don't think that the op thinks her needs are greater, but that it doesn't seem fair if she and her OH have to work hard and seem to have less then people that do not go to work....
and Lucky, also don't think the OP assumed that all single mums claim benefits...

Anyway, I can see your point OP...whilst I know of very honestpeople, that, through no fault of their own have to claim benefits, there are those for whom it seems to be a life choice, and those are often the ones that seem to know how to work the system ratehr well and seem to get out of it much more then those that suddenly find themselfs in that position.

YANBU at all. I always thought the benefits system was for those that needed help/were going through difficult times, and I never begrudged a penny of the thousands in taxes I paid for this purpose.

But since being on mat leave I have come to realise that for some being on benefits is a lifestyle choice. The idea of working for a living is alien to them. And I live in central London so no-one should have difficulty finding employment should they want it.

It is depressing. What role models are these won't work people for their kids? Will they live in the benefit culture too?

Maybe they just manage their money better than you.
No point getting annoyed. If you are envious of the way they live their lives then think about how you could change your own. Would you really prefer to be in their postition? Think about what you've got not what you haven't or what you imagine they have.

And I don't believe the 800 pounds - there is NO way someone on benefits could save that.

There are people who do "work" the system in various ways. Sometimes by claiming benefits while working cash in hand. However, the security of this isn't good - risks of getting found out, no actual protection at work etc.

The other thing is that if someone is living on benefits it is often hard to find work that pays enough to make it worthwhile them going into employment - the benefit trap.

Off the original point I know but don't assume the grass is necessarily greener. It is frustrating if it appears that way though.

i get your point and i can see from 2 diffrent points of view, i have one friend who was married with 2 kids and had a job (low paying but still a job) her husband cheated on her and they split up, for the first time in her life she had to claim benefits till she got on her feet and it was a life saver for her.

another girl i went to school with now has 5 kids to dads and has never done a days work in her life, nor as far as i know has she any intention of ever doing a days work. infact she has spent the last year trying to get one of her ds's diognoised with adhd so that she can get more benefits, she will happily tell everyone at the school gates this

sorry that is 5 kids to 5 dads

The OP doesnt say if these single mum are actually on benefits, maybe they have jobs? also, many years ago when i first became a sinle mum, i managed to run a car while on benefits, i was at college at the time and my family help out, my parents paid for my car tax.I also managed the odd night out because my parents would pay for it. she is making assumptions about the single mums in her area, for all she know they maybe in a similar situation as i was, where they have family to help out.

Good post kerala. The welfare system should be designed as a safety net for those who for very specific reasons cannot support themselves for a period of time. Unfortunately, the reality is that for some people it definitely IS a lifestyle choice. I too know of single parents, or indeed two parent families with neither parent working, where there is clearly money for all kinds of 'extras'. And this is also in an area where there ARE jobs - maybe not fantastically exciting or well paid jobs, but a job nonetheless. Juuule, I agree that there's no point in being envious of these people, and living off the state is certainly not what I would choose to do as a role model for my kids, but that's not really answering the point made by the OP is it? The benefits sytem in this country is a bloody joke and needs reform NOW. I've said it before on oter posts: the only answer is to have a bigger differential between working and living on beneifts. If people were automatically SIGNIFICANTLY better off by working, even if it was in the most low status job, then people would see that work brings rewards and enables them to have lifestyle choices.

Lucky, tis in the title though, isn't it?

'Am I being unreasonable? : to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits'

ok maybe they are claiming benefits but they are not here to defend themselvesor their situtation and we are only hearing one side of it from the op.

We have a good income (despite dh being the only one working) - our disposable income is non-existant. This is due to our choice to take on a huge mortgage. We are hamstrung by this at the moment but one day with have a valuable asset and no rent to pay.

People on income support will not be paying out for huge mortgages they wil generally have lower outgoings and no assets. But it is still possible to run up huge debts while on benefits . Be in rent arrears, etc. Unless you have access to their financial records you will never know how these 'single mothers' (a breed apart?) are funding their lives. Why give yourself any stress about it?

My mother lives on the most miniscule of pensions and widows benefit she struggles to find landlords to rent to her as she is apparently benefit scum - she ran up terrible debts when widowed still in her 40's and very depressed - how disgraceful of her!

The idea that most people are living the life of riley on benefits is laughable to me.

on the gutter...indeed , if the difference was significant, it would make a difference...
problem is, that for those in need the benefit really isn't that great .I know my best friend who found herself having to claim benefits really has to be frugal, to say the least, especially as she decided to go to college, and in the near future wants to do a degree, and then she will be even worse off, as the system does not seem to value those benefit claimers that actually try to better themselfs, etc....!
But I know of so many people who do have this benefit life style thing going on, and it is annoying ....but, indeed, as Juuule said, I don't think it's something to be envious about (although, don't think OP is), indeed, I think those people are just so sad...how low can your self esteem be....( I mena of those that choose it, rather then have to use it for a while to find their feet)

And sure there are people who take the piss out of the system, but not everyone does, for some it is just a stop gap. We dont know these single mums situations so im not going to start slagging them off when i dont know both sides.

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