to expect to have more disposable income than single mums claiming benefits

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i no longer know why me and dh bother, he works full time and i work part time so that i can juggle the child care.

i know of 3 single mums who stay near me who seem to have more money than i can dream of, out every weekend, always shopping and 2 of them manage to run cars.

i know the benefit system is needed by some people but it seems to be a complete joke these days, the wasters in this country are leading the life of reilly while the rest of us are left to slog our guts out to pay for there existence.

no doubt i will get flamed for this post but i have been out xmas shopping today trying to work to a budget then i stand next to these people at the school gates and hear about all the grants they are entitled to so they can buy xmas presents, one of them has even cut back the last 2 months and managed to save £800, it would take me bloody months to save that up.

ok rant over, deep down i am glad i am not one of these people and i do actually work for what i have but it still pisses me of.

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wham bam thank you ma'am

oo in the gutter, what a crap situation. if that is the case it sounds like you are not far off being entitled to benefits on your income anyway - is there no tax credit top up on your income to make things a bit easier?

I know that we are not in the same boat as you. Me on my own am above the benefits limit even with just my salary, and we own our house so no housing benefit on this - we'd have to sell it if we split up and buy two smaller flats,,or something. god only knows.

but anyway, i am bitching about a tiny number of mums at my kids school who drive me mad, and i hold my hands up and say i think they are scrounging and lazy, but this is by no means applicable to everyone I know on benefits, and there is no way I think they are better off than me in the wider rounded sense. I am simply, as ever, moaning!

err..it'd appear its still going!!

is it still open?

oh bugga and I thought we'd killed it off!! Olala I know exactly where you're coming from. And yes, you know deep down that you are a good role model and are making a valuable contribution to your kids and to society, even though its bloody hard work at times. And even us working mums who live with our children's father are entitled to a little moan now and again!!

I see what you're saying now, inthegutter. But you're not being penalised, so much as families with one parent are receiving extra support. And about your example - if your partner got his own flat, he'd then have to pay rent and bills and so forth for that flat on his own. You'd only be getting housing benefit and income support for your flat if you stopped working entirely. So you wouldn't be better off, unless I'm missing something.

well i'd like to add that its not so much a frustrating issue about single mums on benefits but just people in general who are on benefits and have kids....i used to be one...we had far more money then than now where dh is on a 21k salary and im a SAHM and we are struggling each month to make ends meet and literally have nothing to splash out on each month, sometimes not even enough to buy ds something special!i have people around me who are clearly far better off than i am and all are on benefits...they have good cars, eat out and regularly spend on themselves and their kids and have more time than sense....while i and dh have to be modest and humble in our ways....the only thing i can say is that i feel like i have no guilt on my conscious...compared to when i was on benefits i always felt like i was doing wrong....my today is far more rewarding.

I can't believe that someone on benefits can afford to eat out and have good cars and all that stuff. Income support is about £59 a week. Tax Credits = another £44. So that's just over a hundred pounds a week, plus child benefits is about £125 all in (for one child). Out of that, you've got to pay for everything apart from rent and council tax: food, toiletries, clothes, travel, phone, gas, electric. Most people on benefits can't save from one month to the next. How are your friends driving around in good cars and eating out all the time?

You are mistaken inthegutter - your ex would move out and get his own place to rent - you would not be able to choose whether you work - you may not even be able to afford to stay in the accomidation you are in- it may be deemed to expensive for housing benifit. So you would either have to move, but how would you move? No one will want you to move into their rented place as you may not pay up - your on benifit. Or you use your benifit cah to top up the rent, only that may leave you with just £20 per week to feed, cloth and pay the utilitiey bills with.

So you may have to move to a scummy flat with damp, and an electric meter - the metres eat the coins and it is the most expensive way of getting gas/electric. You will not be able to afford a car and so your shopping bill will depend on how far you are prepared to lug the shopping back - corner shops being more expensive.

Why would you want to choose this life for yourself, you think this would be better than what you have now, your crazy.

Oh and don't forget your ex dp will pay up to 25% of his wages to CSA who will then give you £10 per week - if your ex dp doesn't pay the CSA or is difficult you will not get your £10 and will have to do without.

Your mad, completly stark raving bonkers to think this would be the way to live....

By HappyMummyOfOne on Sun 11-Nov-07 20:17:13

"If you are physically able to work, then once your child is of school age the benefits should stop. The exception being if your child is disabled where childcare etc may be a problem.

Benefits are a stop gap and for those in need, not a lifestyle choice for those that wish to stay at home."

PMSL!! I have never heard such crap.

You expect me to get a job (typical hours of 8.30am-5.30/6pm and afford before and afterschool care for my 5 yr old, plus all holidays and inset days, bank holidays etc OFF - paid of course ... and SURVIVE??!!

And as for "some of us have pride" NoName - I assure you I have LOTS of pride, thank you very much. I would rather just feed my son regularly (although the IS dept have tried to screw that up MORE than once in the few yrs I've been on it) and be able to just about clothe him - hence, I am on benefits - better to have £100 a week to budget a survival than be on the streets and starving, wouldn't you say?

I seriously hope and pray some of you NEVER have to find out how degrading it is being "on benefits" (the name alone is a joke - there is no benefit - it is survival) and put up with the shit thoughts that have been portrayed here. Or, perhaps you should - then, hopefully compassion and empathy for those that have to raise their kids ALL ALONE without a day off/lie in/"me" time etc would be more forthcoming.

I have been on mumsnet for three and a half years and i am close to not returning to the site after all that time over this thread. I am embarrassed that women on a site designed to support one another can be so vicious and judgemental and petty. And quite frankly disgusted that as intelligent and competent women so few appear to have the manners and compassion of true ladies. I am a single parent i work full time. Thats my choice. My neighbour is in a different position she stays at home as does my sister who is married. I have friends from all walks of life and society and whilst i have my own opinions on whether or not people should work it is entirely up to an individual to choose how they raise their children and manage their money. This site is not the place for political or societal predjudice and certainly not for the sort of bitchiness bordering on bullying being seen by a number of you. Its becoming more common on this site and i am asking this whole conversation be taken down as its just a disgrace. A discussion over working or not working is one thing but the language, tone and abuse being shown here just makes me ashamed to be one of many of you to be quite frank.

ivykaty44 - I haven't said this is the way I'd choose to live FFS!! If I chose it then I'd be doing it wouldn't I. But I happen to want to work at my relationship with my partner and bring our children up together. And by the way, the house we live in would definitely NOT be deemed too expensive for housing benefit. Someone lives in an identical one along the terrace - he lives there with two children (i have 3) and receives housing benefit.

Your talking logic now - benifits do not do logic please undestand this is ( my head in my hands - forget logic with benifits) your place will be deemed to expensive and you would have to move - yes I know the man along the road only has two children - but this is a system of unlogic.

It is great you want to work at being together - keep at it it will be worth it, but please remember not everyone has those choices.

There is a reason to the unlogic - you will have applied in another tax year and the council have lowered the rate and therefore you can't have as much as the man down the road - does that make sense, each tax year the council will have a different set of rules to govern the amounts of money for housing benifit - unfair but that is how district councils and county councils work

Sorry not with you. My house would not be deemed too expensive. I know of no other rented property with the minimum number of bedrooms required in my locality which would be cheaper. I guess I could be moved to another property of similar size (our house is tiny btw!) and have housing benefit paid, but it would be fairly pointless! I'd simply be living in another teeny house along the road. The point as I keep trying to explain is that DP and I should not be treated less favourably just because we live together.

You shouldn't be moved - but most likely you WOULD... just because "that's the rules" and that's what happens

There is NOTHING logical about housing benefit - nothing AT ALL - you can't second guess them any more than you can second guess when a bird will poo on your head!

It may seem pointless to you (and me) but not to the district council oh no you would need to move or pay the excess rent - which you would not be able to afford.

Please forget all logic when dealing with district council on housing benifits and don't be to clever with them either as then they will really hit the unlogic button and you will cry with frustration - if you have given up at times with this thread then imagin it ten times worse - it will be that bad.

Your house would be deemed to expensive as the council would have a smaller budget and housing benifit will be reduced. Your mate down the road is already in the system so that will be ok - but you will be a fresh applicant and that is different - you will need to move and if it means moving out of the location then that is what will happen.

Oh and forget bedrooms - you only need one bedroom at most - boys and girls are not allowed to share a bedroom when they become a certain age - only this rule doesn't apply when it doesn't suit.

Ok so worst case scenario is I'd be moved - to a similar sized house (beleive me, you can't get much smaller than ours for 3 kids!!) and I'd get my housing benefit paid. I would also be able to give up work and receive income support. I cannot afford to give up work while living with the father of my children. And that isnt right or fair.

Oh and the bedroom thing is pretty irrelevant I agree. I have loads of working friends who arent on benefits who have children of various ages/gender in all sorts of unsatisfactory bedroom arrangements.

A House dream on you wouldn't get a house - what land are you living in? You would not get a house as big as the one you are in.

No you would not get all your housing benifit paid you may well have to pay some aswell - from your benifit money.

Benifit money is seperate from housing, two different systems and if they dont go in sink then you may find your landlord gets cross, if the money doesn't come through on time - then trys to evict you, housing will say you need to be homeless before we do anything about it so you could end up homeless and then need to be re-housed aswell

oh you know the house i live in do you? My god this isnt even worth responding to!!!

None of the single parents I worked with in Glasgow received housing benefit of any more than £300 per month. Ivy's right - if you're not in local authority accommodation, it's likely you'd only get a proportion - maybe 2/3 - of your rent paid if it's £400+ per month.