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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think oral sex is unpleasant?

382 replies

barnabybarbie · 31/03/2021 21:43

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I should specify - I mean receiving oral sex, not giving it. Giving it I don't mind either way, but receiving really gives me the ick for some reason (even hypothetically from someone I'm otherwise attracted to).

Am I alone in this?

OP posts:
me4real · 01/04/2021 00:56

As a PP said, I also had a girlfriend and from the moment she tried it she said 'oh, you don't like that, do you?' She was that good a lover that she could tell straight away.

What she liked in oral was just to have her clit sucked really hard. So that was fairly easy to do.

How many of you like that? Seems extreme to me!

Sparklesocks · 01/04/2021 01:03

YANBU for having sexual preferences one way or another.

I do agree partner/chemistry/mood etc play a big part. But whatever works for you is all that matters!

me4real · 01/04/2021 01:08

think this isn't an uncommon thing at all, and I think that for most of us, it has its roots in all of the jokes about women smelling like fish. We take that to heart without knowing that we do so.

Not with everyone of course. It's the sensation I just don't like. And the proximity of teeth to my clit maybe. Grin Shock

My ex was always asking why I didn't like it and that's when I came up with the teeth reason in response. But really in my case I think it's just like some people like red wine or whatever and some don't.

Latenighthoughts · 01/04/2021 01:09

@Hangingover just want to say your not alone. Still yet to find anyone that can make me finish. Completely given up on the idea, I feel broken. Wouldnt say I've had alot of experience with different partners but enough to know majority of them are either to selfish in bed, dont know what they're doing, or maybe I'm too hard to satisfy? Oh well hey, as long as someone finishes....

AnotherSunrise · 01/04/2021 01:32

Not icky gross or yucky... I love it!

AnotherSunrise · 01/04/2021 01:34

@Ugzbugz

Most men are absolutely shit and have no idea what they are doing. I am not confident but do enjoy it but I had one man ans it was not wet or slimy or gross at all, I've slept with quite a few blokes and I would say 95 percent are shit.
Not true
PeggyHill · 01/04/2021 02:06

I used to think it was unpleasant, and then I met DH. Turns out I just needed someone to do it properly. Now I love it.

Rustygriswold · 01/04/2021 02:07

Depends on how it’s done. Some men seem to think fast as possible without stopping for air is the answer, it really isn’t,
others (more correctly) slow as possible actually like eating a sandwich.

I had a bad experience with giving with an ex, it’s put me off doing it with DH. The guilt I feel is horrendous.

PerveenMistry · 01/04/2021 02:32

I could do without receiving. Giving can be a turn-on. Or just q nice thing to do

garlicbread82 · 01/04/2021 03:33

YANBU. DH and I have tried to experiment in the past but he treats my fanny like a dog trying to eat a Petis Filous. Not a pleasant experience! Blush

Ginuwine · 01/04/2021 03:39

Part of the problem I think is how a lot of women in the UK think about ourselves sexually.

I'm prepared to be shot down in flames for this, but there are dozens of people on this thread alone who expect their OHs to be mind-readers, who have a dismissive attitude to effort or interest, and who generally aren't in touch with themselves literally or figuratively. This thread is more a competition of who can use the grossest, slapstick humour terms for oral or body parts.

If you don't generally feel sexual as a person, and describe it as 'DTD' or whatever silly shorthand, then how could you ever be in the mindset needed to experience an orgasm from oral?

Yes there are 'slobberers' (ffs) out there I'm sure. But I wager a lot of this is about mentality and how some people view sex. If it's an awkward, routine, "he wants to do this but he's shit" mentality, then guess what - oral and sex might be shit.

Surely we need to communicate to our partners what feels good, otherwise it's like a tombola of partners until you might strike lucky.

Ginuwine · 01/04/2021 03:40

@garlicbread82

YANBU. DH and I have tried to experiment in the past but he treats my fanny like a dog trying to eat a Petis Filous. Not a pleasant experience! Blush
..and have you ever told him what you like and prefer, and guided him - or is he just someone to ridicule because his enthusiasm didn't match your desires?

Or am I missing the point and this post is just a way to get some cheap laugh emojis

Pyewackect · 01/04/2021 03:45

Absolutely love it. Giving and receiving. Always have, even as a teen.

garlicbread82 · 01/04/2021 04:11

@ginuwine Frankly, I don't think our sexual discussions are any of your business. Anyway, giving is more then enough pleasure for me. I'd much rather treat him like my big hunky Mini Milk than be treated like a Muller Corner Grin OK

StarlightLady · 01/04/2021 05:24

I’m comfortable with my own body. Absolutely love it. I won’t have sex with someone who won’t go down on me.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/04/2021 05:45

I’m not a fan either way, it’s a bit grim.

musicalfrog · 01/04/2021 06:30

@suggestionsplease1

Love it, giving and receiving (as a woman who sleeps with women maybe this forms a larger part of activities? Or maybe that's just an assumption.)

I think some women can find it hard to get into if not fully turned on, but when fully aroused can often enjoy it more. If squirmy sensation is an issue it can definitely help to start oral over underwear before progressing.

And then different techniques work for different people...it's really all about having an attentive partner who knows what is working by paying close attention to body & hip movements, breathing, sounds, hands gripping forward or pushing back, establishing whether penetration is wanted as well or not. I think if uncertain its always best to back off a bit, kiss around inner thighs etc, and wait for the hips to shuffle back to you / get pulled back in by hand. Certainly wouldn't be any fun to have someone ploughing on regardless of your responses.

Wow... Um this actually makes it sound rather nice. Blush

You sound fab @suggestionsplease1

MyBug · 01/04/2021 06:52

I love it- giving and receiving. All my previous partners have been really good at it. I got lucky, but I thought that was normal . It has always been my favourite part of sex. My current partner doesn't like it. We tried it a couple of times and he was absolutely awful, didn't have a clue. So sad.

sammylady37 · 01/04/2021 06:54

@maddiemookins16mum

I’m not a fan either way, it’s a bit grim.
Oh for goodness sake. What is ‘grim’ about consenting adults giving each other sexual pleasure?
DinosaurDiana · 01/04/2021 07:07

I stopped giving it when I realised that he’d only ever done it once to me, 30 odd years ago.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 01/04/2021 07:11

For those who have said they don't like it much either, are you relatively body confident?

Yes, I am - but I'm not fussed about giving or receiving.

I like the "good old bread-and-butter" type lovemaking. (I don't do "sex" because I only do it with people I am deeply involved with, so as far as I'm concerned, it's lovemaking)

And yes - I know I'm an uptight old gimmer, but casual stuff isn't for me (but I don't judge how other people live their lives).

BadMudda · 01/04/2021 07:28

I love receiving it.

Sadly DH doesn't like doing it .

I wish he did cos it turns me on just thinking about it.

Ivalueloyaltyaboveallelse · 01/04/2021 07:34

I love it but my DH is pretty good at it. I prefer receiving then giving but of course I do.

shallIswim · 01/04/2021 07:35

@PuppyMonkeyBaby

I could happily live without ever giving or receiving again.
ConfusedGrin Genuinely made me spit my tea out. Images of my dog's jowls superimposed on a hopeful looking bloke
shallIswim · 01/04/2021 07:35

Arrr quoted wrong post...

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