To think oral sex is unpleasant?

[barnabybarbie]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

I should specify - I mean receiving oral sex, not giving it. Giving it I don't mind either way, but receiving really gives me the ick for some reason (even hypothetically from someone I'm otherwise attracted to).

Am I alone in this?

@MrsHastingslikethebattle

Alone in this. It's the best thing since sliced bread.

I didn't think much of it before I met my DP. Get someone who is good at it and god, you will see stars.

THIS!

I didn't like it with my ex-husband, he wasn't good at it buy my DP now, OMG.

@princessTiasmum

If you don't like they are not doing it right

Nope. This is incorrect. If you (meaning you @princessTiasmum) don't like it then they're not getting it right. If I don't like it (and many more if this thread and the poll is anything to go by) then we just don't like it .... for a myriad different reasons.

For me, there is no ick about it - I enjoy giving oral and many other things. But receiving oral and rimming too, do nothing for me .... they are just not stimulating enough. Fingers is good though!

And in terms of warming up for piv .... really anything works, kissing, nipple stimulation, sexy talk.

Even with piv (which along with toys is the quickest route to orgasm for me) there is a massive difference in experience due to ..... dimensions. Not too big, not too small, angled the right way etc etc.

This thread just proves that we are all different and what works for one woman will not work for all women.

[quote garlicbread82]**@ginuwine* Frankly, I don't think our sexual discussions are any of your business. Anyway, giving is more* then enough pleasure for me. I'd much rather treat him like my big hunky Mini Milk than be treated like a Muller Corner OK[/quote]
You don't think your sexual discussion are any of our business, yet you'll openly post about cunnilingus using a yoghurt simile..

Ok. So far so Mumsnet logic.

@Namechange1991x

If it's making you nauseous why not hide it? The thread is about cunnilingus, it is highly likely to contain descriptions?

To add, for me it’s perfection. I enjoy penetration but if l had to choose between oral or penetration, l’d go for oral every time.

@Ivy455

Oh my god it's the best thing ever if it's done properly. My partner is amazing at it but I once had the unfortunate experiences of a man literally motorboating my labia. It did not do anything for me in case anyone was wondering.

I've had this. Literally shaking his damn head like a cat worrying a mouse. Very weird. Wtf was THAT about? 🤣

@Ginuwine

Part of the problem I think is how a lot of women in the UK think about ourselves sexually.

I'm prepared to be shot down in flames for this, but there are dozens of people on this thread alone who expect their OHs to be mind-readers, who have a dismissive attitude to effort or interest, and who generally aren't in touch with themselves literally or figuratively. This thread is more a competition of who can use the grossest, slapstick humour terms for oral or body parts.

If you don't generally feel sexual as a person, and describe it as 'DTD' or whatever silly shorthand, then how could you ever be in the mindset needed to experience an orgasm from oral?

Yes there are 'slobberers' (ffs) out there I'm sure. But I wager a lot of this is about mentality and how some people view sex. If it's an awkward, routine, "he wants to do this but he's shit" mentality, then guess what - oral and sex might be shit.

Surely we need to communicate to our partners what feels good, otherwise it's like a tombola of partners until you might strike lucky.

I don’t have a big enough eye roll for this.

This is just so ridiculous. If you don’t enjoy oral sex you must just generally not feel sexual, or there must be a problem in your relationship.

Do you enjoy rimming, anal sex, fisting etc? Some really do, some really don’t.

Can you orgasm just by grinding against a pillow? Some can, some can’t.

The sensation of oral is not pleasant (to me) so I don’t do it. There are many other things I do enjoy that you might not, yet some can’t fathom that oral sex is not enjoyable to some. It’s so weird.

Why do people try to make others feel like something must be wrong if they don’t enjoy oral sex? Imagine this post was about anal sex and someone said they don’t like it and people piled on implying they just aren’t sexual enough or they would enjoy it if they met the right person. Why can’t people accept that we all enjoy different things and there is nothing wrong with that?

I enjoy both giving and receiving. On the issue of men somehow always being keen on it - I instinctively feel like giving a man oral is easier than giving it to a woman, possibly because it’s all so... out there somehow? I find men’s sexuality much simpler. Perhaps a generalisation I just haven’t had the chance to challenge.

I don't get how men can let themselves be crap at it. There is so much information out there for them. The book "she comes first" is brilliant. There's really no excuse.
However, if they don't like giving then that's their right.
My ex was an absolute wanker in many ways but he was very good at oral sex.
Sadly for me my current partner, whom I love dearly and is a lovely man, hasn't got a clue. Before we had sex for the first time and were doing all the flirty texting shit he told me that he loved giving oral and could spend ages doing it. I spent a long time waiting for him to do what he said he would, confused that it wasn't happening, him making all sorts of excuses as to why. It turns out he doesn't actually like cunnilingus

@barnabybarbie you’re definitely not alone. Gives me the ick big time, like giving hate receiving

@Deathgrip

Oh no, I can fathom that many women don't like oral.

I also note the slew of cheesy, constantly jocular posts on sex topics where people queue up to describe their DHs as inept, sex acts as "icky", use similes for dog licking, slurping, ice lollies etc

Yes preferences are preferences and you can be as sensual as you like but not want oral. I accept this.

But bloody hell, this country is so so weird about sex. Anyone who says "I love sex, I want my DH, I thoroughly enjoy him giving me X or Y" is met with silence or an eye roll on here.

I hate it

@SinisterBumFacedCat

Love giving. Love receiving. Preferably at the same time.

No, too distracting. One at a time. To anyone single looking to have their mind changed, look out for men who play woodwind instruments - all that triple tonguing works wonders.

Yeah I just find it dull. I need more firmness and friction- fingers are best, or failing that a vibrator.

I hate giving, so much so I’ve promised myself I’ll never do it again. If that means I remain single so be it. I have no strong feelings either way about receiving, so if someone felt it wasn’t fair to give to me without receiving it back, it wouldn’t bother me. But likewise would accept if they really wanted to.

I agree most men don’t know what they’re doing in that regard, hence why I don’t really care either way. But then as I’ve always hated BJ’s I’m probably not the worlds best at them either! For me it’s always been an unpleasant chore that needed to be got out of the way. So I can’t imagine the guy enjoyed it that much.

Love giving and receiving. Havnt done for several years as partner doesn't like either

It is fantastic but my hubby is rather good at it!!

@GraceOnAPlane

Nope, never liked it either. Not the right sort of pressure for me. Had lots of diff partners try over many years but nope. Not for me.

But I'm one of those women that apparently don't exist - I only orgasm from penetrative piv sex. And can get there in 5 mins or less start to finish. We're all different

So jealous.

I’m not the biggest fan of oral but I don’t hate it. I just have to really be in the mood. I’m a bit too easily distracted - I need to be having a full body experience else I start thinking about doing the shopping or something and then it’s game over.

Don’t especially enjoy giving it either tbh. It makes my face hurt.

i love receiving it..Turns me on to see a guy so turned on-one guy tho used to look up at me frequently-asking is this ok?is that good..bit off-putting but he was younger so cut him some slack.I hate giving a bj tho-im pretty selfish in the sack i guess.I will do it but it not often.

It really bugs me that when discussing things like this the consensus seems to be there's something wrong with you (physically or mentally), your partner or your relationship.

It's obvious not everybody likes it, and just because they don't it doesn't mean there's something lacking.

It's actually because I'm confident with myself and my sex life that I can firmly say what I like and don't like and won't do things just because "everyone " does it .

@Osirus

I love it, everything about it. So does DH, thankfully.

I also love PIV too - I can finish this way in just a few minutes, which is quicker than from oral. It’s good for us as we both then finish together, which I know can be difficult to achieve.

My DH is the kind of person who really throws himself into whatever he’s doing. There’s NOTHING he’s not good at because he makes sure he does a good job at everything.

Am I the only one that thinks this sounds like hard work. I was with someone who was pretty amazing at everything. Easy to life with but I felt slightly inadequate most of the time. Is finishing together an achievement? Never have but I can’t really think it makes anything better...or does it?

It's obvious not everybody likes it, and just because they don't it doesn't mean there's something lacking

Absolutely, but equally, sexual activities between consenting adults shouldn’t be called grim/icky/gross etc either.

Is finishing together an achievement? Never have but I can’t really think it makes anything better...or does it?

In my opinion coming together is better than anything.

Completley euphoric.

The most unreasonable op I have ever read!

Each to their own though.