Why do women fancy “bad boys”

[Opal93]

I have a very good, loving husband but their is a well know bad lad in our town and I get butterflies when I see him! Would know better than to go anywhere near him though lol but he used to live opposite me as kids and even though he was a bad pig even then I fancied him like mad!! Almost ALL my friends have been through all sorts of shit after falling for a “bad boy” type, and I just ask myself WHAT on earth is the big attraction? Even when fantasising about male characters women love a bad boy a lot of the time! I just wonder what is it about them that is so attractive? Especially to younger girls, is it just cooler?

Immaturity

I have no idea but I'm the same. I would never try to date / settle with a bad boy but the appeal is there. When I was young I think it was the motorbike that appealed the most to me

For all the Not All Men posts I’ve read on this site recently, why is it acceptable to generalise about women like this?

For all the Not All Men posts I’ve read on this site recently, why is it acceptable to generalise about women like this? No ones saying all women, but a lot of women have experienced attraction to a bad boy stereotype and are sharing their experiences. Bad boys aren’t to all women’s taste, as lots of PPs have said

No one ever says all men, but we still have to go to great lengths to clarify that we don’t mean all men. Not having a go at you OP, sorry, just worn down with all the claims of anti-men rubbish, but no one cares about generalisations about women.

Bad boys are sexy when they treat you right, at least for me anyway. I suppose there's something sexy about someone not typically being good but wanting to be good for you? The problem is of course they don't tend to stay nice over time, once the initial attraction wears off. If someone fancies someone who continually treats them like shit I agree they must have low self esteem.

@MistyGreenAndBlue

I worry more about self professed "good guys" They are almost always utter wankers beneath the surface.

Because good guys don't need to tell you they're good.

I think a lot of things that feed on each other.

There is some interesting research that suggests women find men who have killed more attractive. I think that might be some sort of deep-seated looking for tough DNA kind of thing to pass on to offspring.

But there is also a lot of romance about the idea of the bad boy - the Han Solo type. Who really preffered Luke Skywalker? No one. And modern western culture in particular really is very big on those kinds of stories, we like those who stand against authority and don't seem to care about what people think, we admire and idealise them. But that can actually be really anti-social.

But I tend to think the romanticisation is in large part fed by the deep seated biological drive towards the people who protect the tribe or set out and explore new lands.

So I think it’s a combination of seeing the ‘lovable rogue’ trope in movies (who is sexier- Han Solo or Luke Skywalker?) and something primeval from our monkey brain. I’m binge watching Vikings at the moment and those big, muscly men who are fierce on the battlefield and hot in the bedroom It’s SO attractive. Don’t we all want to turn the bad boy good?

In real life bad boys make shit partners. Married one, now split. Was hot in the bedroom but just a lousy all round person. So now I’m looking for someone who looks like a Viking but is like a chartered accountant or something.

Cross post @SmokedDuck HAN SOLO

@Iamuhtredsonofuhtred

Cross post *@SmokedDuck* HAN SOLO

It's a universal truth.

Though actually even more than Han Solo I fancied Darth Vader, and latterly Boba Fett (the prequels put an end to any interest in DV). Though that doesn't really challenge the thesis around bad boys...

@SmokedDuck

I think a lot of things that feed on each other.

There is some interesting research that suggests women find men who have killed more attractive. I think that might be some sort of deep-seated looking for tough DNA kind of thing to pass on to offspring.

But there is also a lot of romance about the idea of the bad boy - the Han Solo type. Who really preffered Luke Skywalker? No one. And modern western culture in particular really is very big on those kinds of stories, we like those who stand against authority and don't seem to care about what people think, we admire and idealise them. But that can actually be really anti-social.

But I tend to think the romanticisation is in large part fed by the deep seated biological drive towards the people who protect the tribe or set out and explore new lands.

The research, from what I remember, dubs hybristophilia (attraction to those known to have committed a crime) a paraphilia, what would previously been called a ‘perversion’, and links it to low self-esteem, a lack of a father-figure, a power fantasy about changing a bad guy— and women who actually think that having a boyfriend in prison, knowing where he is all the time, that he’s not being unfaithful etc.

I think there’s some studies on women attracted to career criminals, but that focuses on women living in poverty, for whom these men offer the promise of a better life.

@Salarymallory

They’re not bad boys

They’re twat and / or rude and / or just not that in to you

Good summary!

Seeking life excitement via a man. Enthralled in shallow fashion by his reputation, and usually looks too. Low self-esteem drawn to drama and trouble, and willing to put up with being treated like crap for it, as long as all looks good from the outside. Wanting a 'project man' and the thrill of (well hopefully) being the one who changes him.

A non-bad boy doesn't mean boring but I suppose for those drawn to hassle life with a man, it would appear so.

Bad boys are ok for quick hook ups if so inclined I suppose but anything beyond that is a tedious waste of time.

In films, the bad boy is often very good looking!

It’s a problem for sure

Society and films and music promotes these men as sexy and strong
Then women get with them and surprise ! They are shit partners

I have appalling taste
This is why I’m single

@NinthCircle

I know a few women attracted to career criminals, and they are defo not living in poverty, or from poverty. Guess they like a higher class of bad boy.

Seedy world covered up in an illusion of normality. Not for me, nothing real about it.

Whilst we are on the topic though. Tom Hardy in the Krays?

Oh I would.