Please help, school exclusion.

[Blossomplease6]

I’m aware this is the wrong board but I need advice quickly and the sen boards are slow and quieter.
My son, 8, is I think on the verge of being expelled from school. I’m so scared, he would be devastated. I’m terrified of him having to go to a bee school who don’t understand him and he would be heartbroken and scared.
He has no diagnosis, we’re waiting for camhs at the moment. He’s having meltdowns at school, which can be quite violent and are aimed at teachers. Never students. We can’t work out why, there are triggers but normally small things that shouldn’t cause such a breakdown.
Where do I stand legally? I have a meeting coming up and I just think they’re going to say they can’t cope with him anymore. He wasn’t like this before. There’s always been issues, and meltdowns at school but he was never violent until his first stint in keyworker school last year. That then stopped when he returned to normal school in September. But has restarted again after Xmas and the latest lockdown.

Sorry I don't have much advice. Is he violent outside of school?
How does he react to you when you implement boundaries?

Yes he is occasionally with me. Not as frequent but I do fully appreciate how difficult it must be for them. I guess with me, I’d be a bit more flexible to prevent those meltdowns where as the school can’t always be.
He doesn’t like boundaries and can take a long time to go from one task to another. But I can tell him no without a violent outburst. He often will shout ect though.

What sort of things does he do?

Can school tell when something is building?

Is there any pattern to the triggers?

Is there some common factor between the key worker situation and now? People? Locations? Noise? Smells?

Sorry for all the questions. I think sometimes we get stuck at lookinb at the immediate before the meltdown when going back further can help much more. I would ask school to keep a very detailed and honest diary.

Does he have a safe space he can go to in school if needed?

I’m sorry. What would you like the outcome to be? Do you want him to stay there? Or do you think a different setting might the better?

Moving from tasks can be helped with visual aids or clear messages. Ask school to provide him with a time table for each day. Don’t tell him “stop now and do this” but give warning - now and next boards or timers can help.

Do the school have any behavioural support team?
Are they aware that he is waiting on a CAMHS assessment?

He needs a diagnosis in order to access the support he needs.
Did you go through school or your GP to start the process? You need to pile on the pressure to get him prioritised.
Have you met with the school SENCO to ask they support him as if he had additional needs, whilst you’re going through the process?

They will not want to exclude him if they can avoid it - the admin involved is a nightmare if nothing else.

In my LA the process is that they need to submit written evidence of what they have already tried, what’s worked and what hasn’t, to the exclusions team in the LA.

He should have a behaviour plan, which has been agreed with his family, and which is regularly reviewed. At his age he can have an input to his plan.

I have known children with an EHCP for emotional and behavioural difficulties that attracts funding for adult support in the classroom.

Have you had a meeting with the Sendco? If not, contact the school today and make an appointment as a matter of urgency. If your child is at risk of exclusion the school should have contacted you long ago to discuss this.

Support shouldn’t be dependant on diagnosis either. It should be based on what is needed. Too often that line is used as a get out clause!

Sorry, OP, I see that you have a meeting coming up - who is it with?

I had one like this, his school years were a nightmare. We ended up with a tutor for him as he just couldn’t function in the school environment.

Before we got there though he was offered coping strategies, that worked through until he was bullied. He clearly had some learning difficulties but getting appropriate help was just impossible.

We had the red card thing, where he could put it in front of him and the teacher would know he was starting to feel pressure and could leave the room.

Every morning he would have a 15 minute ‘registration’ with the LSA where they’d discuss any issues that had flagged the previous day and plan the day ahead.

I suppose if the school does not have a spare adult then it is very difficult for one adult to deal with your son whilst dealing with 29 other children. What other options had the school discussed with you prior to the threat of exclusion?

He needs a diagnosis in order to access the support he needs

I wish people wouldn't say things like this as fact when they're really not!!

Support is done on need, not diagnosis and has been for some time. You need a chat with the senco & teacher. A timetable made for the day, lots of notice if something on the day is to be changed/moved around.
Visual cues can also help, sand timer etc.

Yes but the school doesn't get any extra money to buy the stuff the kid might need until there's a diagnosis/EHCP. If he needs another adult for safety reasons they'll need to be paid somehow and it sounds like he needs a 1 to 1 who can take him out as needed. It's pretty difficult to permanently exclude a child, this might help get him more support though

But if school can work with him and his family to get to the bottom of the issue then the level of support needed will probably be less and will certainly be more controllable. If they wait until he bubbles over and explodes then that is a big issue and unfair on everyone especially the child.

If they can spend some time working backwards to find triggers and then coming up with a plan to avoid it happening or react before it reaches explosion then it should be more manageable for all.

Difficulty with transitions (from one activity to another) is typical with ASD - do they have things in place to help him with this? ie a time table of some sort (pictures/photos/written) of what is happening through out the day, also (something that was absolutely vital for my ds) do they give him as least one advance warning that there is going to be a change in activity? That is vital and two warnings might be preferable ie a 5 minute one and a last minute to finish off what he is doing.

What boundaries does he struggle with? x

What does school senco say?

Can you make a parent referral for echp?

This is a helpful page I think explaining what by law should be happening x
childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/special-educational-needs/

The criteria for a EHC Needs Assessment (first step to an EHCP) include that the child has or 'may have' SEN. So it explicitly caters for situations where there is need but no diagnosis.
At primary dd was on their SEN register and had an IEP before diagnosis.
If the SENCO isn't involved, they should be. If they are then they or you needs to apply for an EHCP. If they exclude him, they are admitting they can't cope with his needs.

Have you asked him what is finding hard, separately not at a time when there has been a particular incident just when chatting? That might give a little insight though just as likely he doesn’t know himself.

Will read replies and respond soon- sorry.

It sounds as if he needs a visual timetable to help with transition from task to task.

How is he when it goes from schoolwork to breaktime? Break time to back in class?

Does he understand his emotions? I'm wondering if the how I feel cards would benefit him?

Is there a nurture room he can attend for quiet time or a quiet space he can finish his stuff?

Is Ed psych involved? Apply for ehcp.

You can only i.element a plan of you have the staffing to accommodate it. You can only employ the staff of you have the budget. Schools are not awash with spare cash. Quite frankly academies spend their cash at the top, rewarding management , not low paid LSAs. Most academies are business models, performance driven. Getting political now but performance = exam results. That is what the management will focus on, not spending cash on managing the behaviour of individual pupils. Sorry op not what you want to hear.
If I were you I'd look at implementing behaviour charts at home removing priviledges when behaviour targets were not met etc. You can then take this to the meeting with school and you also need to teach your child examples of excepted behaviour which this reward system will do. Also when dealing with behaviour you have to explain and show clearly what exactly you are expecting. So "Will you behave!" Is not what to say instead " Johnny, put the cat down, you are hurting him, that is why he is hissing at you, when the cat hisses, you put him gently into the floor. "
Apologies if you already do this.