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To think Horrible Histories should run Med cruises?

101 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 05:30

Our DSs (8yo and 6yo) are obsessed with history and DS1 particularly wants to see the pyramids, the Acropolis and the Coliseum. DH and I felt a bit weak at the thought of organising our own jaunts to these places so thought a Mediterranean cruise would be a handy compromise - a hop-on-hop-off of antiquities if you will. (We wouldn’t be going until at least 2022, obvs...)

Sure enough, there are plenty of cruises covering just the itinerary we’re after...but they’re all clearly geared to the middle-aged/elderly market and appear to be deliberately placed in term times, presumably to minimise kids annoying their usual clientele, which I totally get.

But it got me thinking...there are so many ‘Horrible’ offshoots. Why doesn’t the Horrible Histories lot charter one/some of these ships during British/European school holiday times? Instead of the showgirls, they could have pop up actors on board doing Awful Egyptians skits before Alexandria, Rotten Romans before Italy, Athenian-Spartan Wife Swap before Greece etc. They could have food which approximates the local cuisine as a gentle introduction to the different foods in each region (our DSs are fussy as fuck and would live on chips and pizza for the duration of any trip like this otherwise Hmm).

We would totally pay for that and our DSs would absolutely bloody love it. Are we the only ones?

(If this is a scathingly brilliant idea, Terry Deary, you may PM me for bank details for the ensuing royalties Grin)

OP posts:
Natsku · 31/03/2021 08:26

I would love this! The children probably too, but definitely me.

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 31/03/2021 08:40

I'd send Dd on that insted of the school ski trip. She'd love it even now she's a bit older. She was a huge fan of Horrible histories.

grumpymummy72 · 31/03/2021 08:53

[quote Newnormal99]@DazzlePaintedBattlePants

Yes back in the late 80's my school used to run a cruise to Bethlehem /Jerusalem.

It was for (what is now) Y10 and up. I wasn't allowed to go!

Yes, back in 1980s in y9 equivalent I did a schools cruise to Santorini, Olympus, Pyramids at Giza and Bethlehem/Jerusalem. Absolutely fantastic, would love something similar for DS12. Should have done Acropolis too but bomb
scare cancelled trip and we flew home from Turkey.

ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 09:49


Fab idea but on a practical note, take a look at royal Caribbean Cruises - these are definitely the most family orientated

Have done - all the dates we could find were term-time, along with all the other lines. Absolutely maddening.

Has anyone else got Stupid Deaths on repeat in their heads? You probably have now
OP posts:
toconclude · 31/03/2021 10:00


One of the cruise ships my parents go on (normally, they haven't in over a year obviously) has a climbing wall.
Most people on their cruises are similar age to them... Retirees.
They have yet to meet anyone whose used it...

My 75 year old DH would. We're not all old crocks you know. OTOH he wouldn't go on a cruise if you paid him.
CounsellorTroi · 31/03/2021 10:03


British cruise companies are aimed at the older market but other countries definitely aim at families. Kids clubs on board etc. Have you looked at these companies?

This is just not true. Companies like P and O do run family friendly cruises with kids clubs etc.
takingmytimeonmyride · 31/03/2021 10:09

I'd love this! My kids are all older teens/adults now but they'd love it too!

InsertFunnyNameHere · 31/03/2021 10:19

I'm another one who would love this

Vanillaradio · 31/03/2021 10:22

Sign us up for the horrible histories cruise please!
Op have you looked at P and O. We've taken my now 7 year old on two cruises with them and he absolutely loved them. Lots of family friendly stuff- kids club was amazing, kids discos in the evening, kids films on and he also enjoyed the shows. When we booked they definitely had a lot of Mediterranean cruises including fly cruises which ran all summer including in school holidays.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 31/03/2021 10:27

Both me and my 8 year old would love to go on a Horrible Histories cruise!

TurquoiseDragon · 31/03/2021 10:40

This is the only way I'd do a cruise, it's not my thing otherwise.

Pretty sure my DC would be interested, even at the ages of 20 and 17.

AlexanderArnold · 31/03/2021 10:46

Yes!! With Horrible Science and Horrible Geography (or whatever the books are called) mixed in. Fantastic idea!!

BikeRunSki · 31/03/2021 11:11

@ElphabaTheGreen, I was thinking nearer 50%!

MojoJojo71 · 31/03/2021 12:15

Fantastic idea, sign us up! I’m not sure which one of us would enjoy it most, me, 24yo DS or 8 yo DD.

lazylinguist · 31/03/2021 12:43

Brilliant idea, OP! My dc would still love it and they're teens (with a history teacher dad who bores them about history a lot)!

ASimpleLobsterHat · 31/03/2021 12:55

My two DSs would love that - brilliant idea OP.

ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 12:58

[quote BikeRunSki]@ElphabaTheGreen, I was thinking nearer 50%![/quote]
Oh, if you insist...

OP posts:
BLToutanowhere · 31/03/2021 13:07

This needs to happen. I'd merrily sign up for that. Can you imagine the tour guides doing the Greek songs in front of the Acropolis.

Here, take my money!

AnswerTheQuestionDamnYourEyes · 31/03/2021 13:16

Oh my goodness yes please! OP this is an amazing idea.
Not to be fussy, but it would have to be the original cast, they are utterly brilliant.

How do we make this happen??!!

againandagainoncemore · 31/03/2021 13:25

This is a brilliant idea!

Mine would LOVE it.

SingToTheSky · 31/03/2021 13:31

If Matthew Baynton is there, I’m in. :o

TheLazyWitch · 31/03/2021 13:37

I think I would enjoy something like this, as much as ds, possibly more...

CandyLeBonBon · 31/03/2021 14:00

Brian cox and horrible histories. I'm in!

Jengnr · 31/03/2021 14:10

Sign me up. I’ll share a cabin with Matt Baynton if it’s full!

BikeRunSki · 31/03/2021 14:24

So @ElphabaTheGreen, I told my sister. Her response was “We already do that, but classier”. I said HH would attract a new audience of families with children under 10. She said “we don’t want children onboard”. So that told me.

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