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To think Horrible Histories should run Med cruises?

101 replies

ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 05:30

Our DSs (8yo and 6yo) are obsessed with history and DS1 particularly wants to see the pyramids, the Acropolis and the Coliseum. DH and I felt a bit weak at the thought of organising our own jaunts to these places so thought a Mediterranean cruise would be a handy compromise - a hop-on-hop-off of antiquities if you will. (We wouldn’t be going until at least 2022, obvs...)

Sure enough, there are plenty of cruises covering just the itinerary we’re after...but they’re all clearly geared to the middle-aged/elderly market and appear to be deliberately placed in term times, presumably to minimise kids annoying their usual clientele, which I totally get.

But it got me thinking...there are so many ‘Horrible’ offshoots. Why doesn’t the Horrible Histories lot charter one/some of these ships during British/European school holiday times? Instead of the showgirls, they could have pop up actors on board doing Awful Egyptians skits before Alexandria, Rotten Romans before Italy, Athenian-Spartan Wife Swap before Greece etc. They could have food which approximates the local cuisine as a gentle introduction to the different foods in each region (our DSs are fussy as fuck and would live on chips and pizza for the duration of any trip like this otherwise Hmm).

We would totally pay for that and our DSs would absolutely bloody love it. Are we the only ones?

(If this is a scathingly brilliant idea, Terry Deary, you may PM me for bank details for the ensuing royalties Grin)

OP posts:
finduskrispycreme · 31/03/2021 07:15

Yesss. And 🤣 @Changeismyname re Operation Ouch infirmary! Bloody loved CBBC afternoons before YouTube nonsense took over.

CuthbertDibbleandGrubb · 31/03/2021 07:19

I'm sure they could fill one, and given that many traditional cruising people may have been put off cruising because of Covid, new groups to go cruising would be welcome. Actors and actresses need work too, given how much they have lost.

BikeRunSki · 31/03/2021 07:25

My sister works for a cruise company. They are on their knees. I’m going to drive her this thread!!

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 31/03/2021 07:30

This used to be a thing (without the Horrible Histories, natch) - school children cruises in the Med for Enid Blyton types.

ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 07:31

YY to the original cast being the best and since they’ve probably all been out of work for a year they could probably do with the cash. We saw an HH stage show a couple of years ago and it was great, regardless though (which, yes, they’ve obviously turned into the car park shows now) so they’ve already got stuff in the bag that they could transfer onto this Ship o’ Dreams.

To the PP who asked about the European cruises being more kid-orientated - we’ve scoured the Internet. Even the ones with kids clubs are during term time. We’d never be ones to take the DCs out of school for a holiday anyway (no judgement on those who do, it’s just not something we’d do) and especially not after this past year when they’ve missed so much.

Bloody love Operation Ouch. Not wishing to dampen the mood, but ours watched this while DFIL was really ill (and ultimately dying) in hospital. DS1 would use their FaceTime calls to explain to him how his nasogastric tube worked and how his kidneys should normally be working (but weren’t) Grin

Did I say Tony Deary? It’s Terry Deary, innit.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 31/03/2021 07:32


My sister works for a cruise company. They are on their knees. I’m going to drive her this thread!!

Tell her I’ll only ask for 10% Wink
OP posts:
badpuma · 31/03/2021 07:36

That is a fantastic idea - my two are teens now but would be totally up for it!

Ages ago - back when things were Allowed, Warwick castle teamed up with HH to run workshops and stalls in the castle. It wasn't the 'real' actors unfortunately, but they were utterly brilliant. In the medieval infirmary you'd have a toy mole tied to your head (as a visitor to the castle!) and be told to drink ale not water.

The pump room had a Victorian schoolroom where my mum nearly got caned for insolently speaking welsh.

It was brilliant.

KihoBebiluPute · 31/03/2021 07:37

I would totally sign up for this yes. I will need to save up to afford it so I hope they will take bookings for 2023.

moochingtothepub · 31/03/2021 07:38

The American cruise lines eg celebrity and carnival tend to have lots of families on board in summer with a sports deck etc, one has go carts! Big sure on the itineraries though. I've been with marella and whilst yes lots of middle aged, there was many younger people including several honeymooning couples, my dc had come straight from the reading festival and they were several others with the festival wrist bands.

I've been on Disney which they loved too, and I've done others - Cunard is my favourite but whilst kids are very welcome, they might not be that excited by the offering of lawn bowls and quoits on deck and jigsaw stations (my dc did like it but they enjoyed the dance lessons and afternoon tea)

HugeAckmansWife · 31/03/2021 07:39

Can I come (but only if Mathew Baynnton is on board) 😋 I met Terry Deary once at a running thing. We did a 5k round the town stopping for historical anecdotes. It was brilliant.

DinosApple · 31/03/2021 07:41

We'd book this Grin.
I have two DDs who say the exact same thing as MrsTerryPratchett's daughter with my pearls of wisdom.

Just saying though, lots of the HH cast are involved in Ghosts and I need a third series to watch come Autumn.

Perhaps they could flit about in the evenings for the grown up entertainment 🤔.

HoppingPavlova · 31/03/2021 07:42

I’m not sure a cruise would be a good way to cover it. Has no one learnt anything from cruising and being stuck at sea/unwelcome ports when the next virus hits (and it will), let alone the bog standard norovirus lurking around ships etc.

I think it’s a brilliant idea but more so as a Contiki style trip involving air and transfers or land travel if sites are aligned. Different to Contiki as would be aimed for young and carers as opposed to young adult and getting blind drunkGrin.

Ylvamoon · 31/03/2021 07:42

I love the idea, DS would go with me! DH and DD not so much.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 31/03/2021 07:47

It was going so well until you mentioned Brian Cox.
That being said my dd would love this, she's 18 Grin but has very fond memories of HH.

justlonelystars · 31/03/2021 07:52

Fab idea but on a practical note, take a look at royal Caribbean Cruises - these are definitely the most family orientated

stuckinarutatwork · 31/03/2021 07:53

I'll come!

Fountainsoftea · 31/03/2021 07:54

My dc graduated from HH to Monty python and Blackadder. It's like a natural progression.

Morgan12 · 31/03/2021 07:57

You're a genius.

Longingforatikihut · 31/03/2021 08:07

30-something childless singleton... I would be kicking all your kids out of the way for my ticket on this boat. I love horrible histories. (No to Brian Cox though, his softy voice and cherryade lips give me the dark and twisties).

Lalliella · 31/03/2021 08:11

That’s an amazing idea OP! You are a genius. My kids would love that, and so would DH and I.

BlowDryRat · 31/03/2021 08:13

Fantastic idea. Independent travel is ace though Wink

BigSkyLife · 31/03/2021 08:16

This would be such a massive hit!

MitMopse · 31/03/2021 08:17

Brilliant idea! My DDs love HH and so do we- sign us up!

Newnormal99 · 31/03/2021 08:21


Yes back in the late 80's my school used to run a cruise to Bethlehem /Jerusalem.

It was for (what is now) Y10 and up. I wasn't allowed to go!

AuthorsOfForever · 31/03/2021 08:25

I've never wanted to go on a cruise. But I would so be there for a horrible histories one Grin but I would need it to be the original cast. Wink

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