Ppl commenting that I am very thin?!

[minnie465]

I'm probably doing to sound slightly delusional here. Another thread on here today has got me thinking.

I'm mid 30s, weigh around 9 stone/57kgs. Measurements today are bust 36 inch/ waist 28 inch/ hips 38 inch. I have always been slim so no massive weight changes. So BMI usually 22 or just below.

People are always commenting on my weight saying that I am very thin. My parents especially. But not just family, work
colleagues, friends too. I went on a training day last year for work that involved hands on contact with the trainer. When she put her arm around me she exclaimed "omg you are so tiny".

So I've always felt a bit conscious of my size/weight and I actually think that I am too skinny. I have a chronic illness that flares up from time to time. This often causes me to lose a few pounds, no more than half a stone when I had a flare last year. Well the comments increase even more. I easily put the weight back on quickly once flare settles. But I really hate all the remarks.

So reading other threads on here and there are women my height who are lighter than me and who are trying to lose weight. I am baffled as to why people think I am so thin. AIBU to actually think I am a perfectly healthy weight for my height?

It will be how bony you look probably, when I'm 10 stone or under (5ft6) I get called "tiny" and "thin", when lots of people lighter than me don't get the same. I have broad shoulders and large-ish feet so look "skinny" at weights others look just slim at.

At approx 8 stone (ill) I never went below a size 10, wide bones

Very rude of people.

I'm 5ft7, 26 inch waist and 8.5 stones. I'm naturally this size without watching what I eat or exercising so it's very annoying to have people asking what I do, how I'm so thin after 2 plus kids etc. Personally I would never comment on anyone's appearance other than to say they look nice.

Just ignore them. If you're exercising and eating healthily you are within a healthy range. So it doesn't matter.

It may be because you're short. I'm 5 foot nothing, and lots of people tell me I'm tiny (like I don't know...), even though I'm 60kg. Quite a lot of muscle though (less now due to the pandemic ) and an hourglass shape so people see the small waist and small wrists/ankles and it's that optical illusion with curves that makes me look smaller than I am. Could be partly due to body shape / frame?

It's so rude to negatively comment on anyone's appearance unsolicited, especially with weight.

I'm a similar body shape OP, and also have comments about being too skinny, needing some meat on my bones etc. I just say "thanks for noticing!" and laugh it off. I'm happy with how I look so don't give a monkeys what Sandra at work thinks.

If you had said you were 5'8" I would have thought nice shape, but not so thin as to comment on. But 5'3"? I'd think you were a bit on the curvier side. My son's girlfriend is 5'9" and a size 8 - she is skinny. Or maybe it's just in relation to their own size? Are your family bigger than you?

It all depends on your social group really. If your workmates were all urban twenty-something gym bunnies and carb shunners then nobody would blink an eyelid. If they’re more sedentary then you’d look like the odd one out.

I'm 5 foot 3. 9 stone 6lb size 10. 32,25,33. Always told I'm skinny. I actually seem to weigh alot for my height !

I'm 6 feet tall and, until I had my daughter, was always 9 and a half stone. People would constantly say "aren't you tall?" "What's the weather like up there?" "Did your parents put you in a grow bag?" "Ooo aren't you skinny?" Nobody would ever say to someone "aren't you short?" or "aren't you fat?" so why do they feel they can comment on what I look like? Bizarre.

I'm always told I'm short. 5 ft 3 isnt much below the average but whatever

I'm short, bmi is 22 so similar to you. I've massive books too. I often get this comment which completely baffles me tbh. I'm not skinny or tiny, except in height!

@Blindstupid

My eldest dd is very very slim, size 4, perfectly proportioned for her height etc. She gets comments all the time (including previously from us as her parents) about how slim she is, how lovely etc. However, unbeknown to us, she hated the comments, they made her equally self conscious as I guess larger people feel when their excess weight is mentioned. We saw it as a lovely compliment that she was so slim. As soon as she said how the slim comments made her feel we stopped immediately. It never crossed our minds that someone could feel awful and self conscious about a positive (or so I thought) thing. It’s made me realise and think twice before making a comment, albeit what I believe to be positive, to others.

Maybe part of the reason for her benig cross at the comnents is because of the effort to be that slim. Unless you're Americsn, because size 4 is Not a normal weight.

Give over redhelen ..... 🙄😂 effort to be that slim! She’s 5’3, a young adult, naturally slim and petite. Are you really so naive as to think naturally slim girls do not exist?? She eats breakfast, lunch, dinner and plenty crap in between

Honestly, your comment is stupid and laughable.

@thenaughtyone

I'm 6 feet tall and, until I had my daughter, was always 9 and a half stone. People would constantly say "aren't you tall?" "What's the weather like up there?" "Did your parents put you in a grow bag?" "Ooo aren't you skinny?" Nobody would ever say to someone "aren't you short?" or "aren't you fat?" so why do they feel they can comment on what I look like? Bizarre.

I can assure you short people do get told all the time how short we are. So do fat people.

@RedHelenB my daughter is a size 2/4, she’s 5ft4 and just over 6st she’s naturally very tiny. She never stops eating. But she’s also very active. 🤷🏼‍♀️ There is no effort to be thin.

I’m 5’3 and slightly over 7 stone (46kg) and get it a lot. I don’t really care but I find it interesting that people seem to think commenting on the weight of thin people is perfectly acceptable.

No you're not thin you are a healthy weight.
People have lost sight of a healthy weight.
I get the same comments too.
I'm lighter same height I ignore the comments mostly it gets to me if I'm enjoying a social meal though under watchful eyes with weird comments.
It would never be acceptable the other way round.

I think you sound a nice normal size!

It depends how you carry it though. I'm quite 'bony' (I can't think of a better way to describe it! Thin wrists and prominent collarbone) and an hourglass shape, and look thinner than my DSis who's half a stone lighter but wider across the shoulders and back than I am.

Maybe part of the reason for her benig cross at the comnents is because of the effort to be that slim. Unless you're Americsn, because size 4 is Not a normal weight.

Firstly, 4 is a size not a weight.

Secondly, can you not get your head around the fact that some people just have small appetites and are very active?

Not eating beyond feeling hungry, not driving everywhere because you consider 30 minutes as a 'long' walk to the shop or it's raining etc is still completely normal for some people - hence them not having to work at being slim.

Don’t agree either that size 4 is unhealthy. I can get into size 4 in some shops and I can assure you that it’s just the way I’m built.

I’m a similar weight/measurements but quite a bit taller, I don’t get comments like that. I am fit and run a lot but wouldn’t consider myself unreasonably thin. People have a distorted idea of what a healthy weight is, and whilst they’d never comment on someone being overweight, thin people seem to be fair game. It sucks!

@WorraLiberty your post is the truth.

I think some people have a very skewed and unhealthy outlook on what it takes to be slim - on this website there seems to an assumption that being plus-size is the default, so therefore you must to starve and chunder if you’re slim. I have also seen “exercise doesn’t lead to weight loss” on here too. It’s like people think being slim is unattainable and impossible without an eating disorder!

I have been slim my entire life and maintain it with no effort - I don’t use food as a an emotional crutch, so it’s not difficult to stop eating when I feel full. I also don’t make excuses when it comes to exercise like mentioned above. Hence why I don’t gain weight.

Pretty much everyone I know is slim, and has had the same general size since we left school. No one has ballooned. It’s really not that difficult, or remarkable, to be slim. It’s really not.

@wingsnthat I agree! I eat more than most people I know, but I exercise and it keeps my weight balanced! If I stop exercising I put on but it drops back off easily enough.

My friend made a comment saying she would rather be her size and be able to eat cake than my size and skip the cake - I would wash the cake down with a hot chocolate! It’s about balance!