Ppl commenting that I am very thin?!

[minnie465]

I'm probably doing to sound slightly delusional here. Another thread on here today has got me thinking.

I'm mid 30s, weigh around 9 stone/57kgs. Measurements today are bust 36 inch/ waist 28 inch/ hips 38 inch. I have always been slim so no massive weight changes. So BMI usually 22 or just below.

People are always commenting on my weight saying that I am very thin. My parents especially. But not just family, work
colleagues, friends too. I went on a training day last year for work that involved hands on contact with the trainer. When she put her arm around me she exclaimed "omg you are so tiny".

So I've always felt a bit conscious of my size/weight and I actually think that I am too skinny. I have a chronic illness that flares up from time to time. This often causes me to lose a few pounds, no more than half a stone when I had a flare last year. Well the comments increase even more. I easily put the weight back on quickly once flare settles. But I really hate all the remarks.

So reading other threads on here and there are women my height who are lighter than me and who are trying to lose weight. I am baffled as to why people think I am so thin. AIBU to actually think I am a perfectly healthy weight for my height?

Yes OP, I’ve had this too and it’s caused me to become quite anxious about my body at times (I’m over it now).

I’ve been the same weight since I was 16, except when pregnant. I quickly went back to my usual weight after my first child and a certain family I know started making comments about how thin I was looking, was I ill? They even suggested I should see a doctor. It made me quite concerned that maybe there WAS something wrong with me.

I wonder if they would have said anything if I’d gained a few pounds instead?

BMI is a range to accommodate all the different body types. Having a BMI bang in the middle of the healthy range isn't necessarily perfect or ideal.

@Hamhockandmash I think we might be the same person. I’m struggling with weight gain because I don’t know what normal is and I’ve always been ‘the skinny one’.

I think people comment on being slim because it's not a negative thing generally, but obviously when someone says 'you're fat' it's rude because society generally looks down on fat people.

ham ... no you didn’t sound like you were having a go ... i think my words don’t make as much sense written down as they do in my head so I was trying too hard to get my point across

Most of dd’s friends were a lot bigger than her, some quite obese, and dd then felt guilty for being so slim 😢 it’s very odd how our brains work, making it a minefield! Blimey, life eh? 😆

I'm sorry people are so rude, OP. Try and ignore then. I'm the same age as you, about 5'6 and 55-56 kg and never get told I'm thin. I have quite a lot of fat for my frame though if that makes sense (ie my collar bones don't stick out, for example). It may be that you look particularly slim even though you're a healthy weight, but there's no need for people to comment on it.

@bellsbuss

I'm 10 stone 1 5 ft 7, size 8-10 and I get told I'm skinny all the time but I'm not. I'm slim with big boobs. 20 years ago i never got told I was skinny and weighed less.

Oh we have the exact same proportions! BMI just under 22 same as OP. People always tell me I'm skinny/have a great figure etc. People often comment that I've lost weight even though my weight literally hasn't changed in 10 years.

I'm very happy with my weight, its one thing that I've never had to worry about so I don't pay much attention to comments anyway.

I've had these comments in the past (not now), was around a size 8/10 so not tiny. People probably think it's ok to comment as being slim is generally seen as positive... They shouldn't really comment either way really. Skinny seems a little rude.

I'm nearly 5 inches taller than you and 36-28-34 were my measurements until I had DS. I would say I was nicely slim rather than excessively skinny. Are you sure it's not your height that people are commenting on rather than your weight?

@coogee

You are just over half a stone heavier, 3 inches shorter, and thicker than I am.

Nobody comments on my size.

Ok. This thread has become a bit competitive about people are much ‘tinier’ than the OP and how no one comments on their size... 🙄

People are bonkers

I've dropped from morbidly obese to obese and my best mate said "oh my god, you're so skinny"

I think we can all agree - really, REALLY, not.

You are normal weight for your height, but as a nation we’re getting bigger and no longer used to ‘normal’.

I’m the same weight as you and a few inches taller. Never had these comments. Does seem strange. You’re completely normal though!

I’m pretty much the exact same size as you and similar age and I’ve never been told I’m too skinny! If anything I think (and this is my personal opinion about myself, not you) I could do with losing a bit because I look better at about 8.5 stone and any extra weight goes straight to my middle. You sound perfectly normal and nicely proportioned, and it’s rude of them to comment. Next time someone says it you could try replying “am I really too skinny or are you just too fat?”

Are your family/the people you work with a lot bigger? Maybe they're not just used to seeing someone a healthy weight? BMI 22 is right in the middle of the healthy range.

Also if you have an illness, that might explain it a bit - I have ME and when I'm not well I always get 'you're looking so thin, you need to eat' comments when my weight hasn't changed, I'm just looking unwell.

*Also if you're the type not to put weight on your upper half that could be it. I have this and no matter what, from the waist up I'm almost bony! Can see my clavicles, ribs, tiny wrists etc. Weight just doesn't go there, no matter what weight I am.

You sound normal weight. I'm the same height as you but I won't shock you with my weight or measurements. I suspect it's that your hip and bust size mean that you have to wear large clothing and then if someone discovers your little waist in there somewhere underneath the large sack cloth, it might be a shock that you're not actually fat!

I also have tiny limbs but am prone to putting weight on my middle.

I'm slightly lighter and 3 inches taller and don't get these comments. Are the people saying them to you overweight? Perhaps you are comparatively thin, but you sound very healthy and just right to me.

Most people these days are quite fat, tbh... I suspect they are jealous. I am saying this as someone who used to be morbidly obese and now I weigh the same as you do. I’m a tiny bit shorter, tbh, but this doesn’t stop people commenting ALL THE TIME and trying to sabotage my maintenance diet. I have no desire to make them feel better about themselves at the expense of my health or self-esteem, so according to them I suffer from Orthorexia or even Anorexia. (Just shoveled a three egg omelette, a whole avocado and a bowl full of salad like a bloody pelican, and still had room for raspberries and cream. Not sure how I tick either box there...)

@Robbo94

My ex was 5'3 and 9 stone and to be fair she had a fairly sizeable bum (but slim waist and shoulders etc). Defo not fat but I'd have called her curvy.

How about you comment on your own figure Robbo rather than describing your ex as having a 'fairly sizeable bum'.

OP - are you surrounded by very overweight/obese people?

I’m 5’7 with the same waist and hip measurements as you but a smaller bust. I’ve never been told I’m too thin. Who is it telling you this?
I think the weird way that some people see weight, they probably don’t think ‘too thin’ is an insult. But it’s not nice to get unwelcome comments. Do people know you have a health condition? Could they be worried about that?

Surprised people comment at your weight and height tbh. Sounds very normal, which is backed up by your BMI.

I do get it about the comments though. People seem to think it perfectly acceptable to comment on ho thin someone is when it really isn't.

My husband is as skinny as a skinny thing and is constantly having People tell him he should "have a steak" etc.

It really dents his self esteem but is simply has build and always has been.

You are fine. I once accidentally went just under 9 stone and looked ill and gaunt. Oh how I dream of 9 stone these days....