Ppl commenting that I am very thin?!

[minnie465]

I'm probably doing to sound slightly delusional here. Another thread on here today has got me thinking.

I'm mid 30s, weigh around 9 stone/57kgs. Measurements today are bust 36 inch/ waist 28 inch/ hips 38 inch. I have always been slim so no massive weight changes. So BMI usually 22 or just below.

People are always commenting on my weight saying that I am very thin. My parents especially. But not just family, work
colleagues, friends too. I went on a training day last year for work that involved hands on contact with the trainer. When she put her arm around me she exclaimed "omg you are so tiny".

So I've always felt a bit conscious of my size/weight and I actually think that I am too skinny. I have a chronic illness that flares up from time to time. This often causes me to lose a few pounds, no more than half a stone when I had a flare last year. Well the comments increase even more. I easily put the weight back on quickly once flare settles. But I really hate all the remarks.

So reading other threads on here and there are women my height who are lighter than me and who are trying to lose weight. I am baffled as to why people think I am so thin. AIBU to actually think I am a perfectly healthy weight for my height?

These posts always make me laugh. (Not at you OP, I think it may be you have a thinner face or something, I was told I looked gaunt when I was an entirely healthy weight and looking at photos - thats true- I have a very pointy chin and pronounced hollows in my cheeks even when I’m fat, so my face always looks slimmer than my body, at a ‘healthy’ weight I have big hollows in my face, and I have no boobs or hips with skinny legs which gives the impression of being thinner than I am- maybe you are the same?)
But it MUST mean that everyone is so far they don’t know what a normal weight is anymore, and it also brings out the competitive skinniness. ‘I’m 6ft2, 3 stone less than you with stats of 20-12-20 and people tell me I’m fat as fuck all the time’

Honestly these posts are a waste of time.
Everyone knows that most adults in the UK are overweight or obese (nearly 2/3rd !!!) so people have lost sight of what a healthy weight is. It’s not too difficult to understand, is it?

I hate it when people say others are 'fat' they may be overweight, but they aren't fat, fat shouldn't be used as an adjective. Fat is something they may have but not what they are.

For someone with serious body image issues, I think nobody should ever comment on people's appearance, I even take compliments pretty badly sometimes, so it's best not to comment at all.

Most people think small, thin, petite is a compliment, I doubt they would mean anything by it. Unless it is a dig comment like one of the previous posters getting told to eat a mars bar, but then again some people would call that 'banter'

If someone says I look well, I do a Stacey from Gavin and Stacey - I think they mean I'm overweight or put on weight.

I've been told I'm too thin most of my life, then I put some weight on and an old neighbour of my parents, that hadn't seen me for awhile said 'Hi, OMG it is you, only recognised your face, haven't you filled out' I was so gobsmacked I didn't have time to react.

I've had people openly tell my partner that he has put on weight. Family and acquaintances, sometimes they don't look so hot themselves, but I would have never commented on it. I always try to stick up for my partner when I can (not that he needs me to, he would rather ignore it) He says it doesn't affect him but it can't be nice to hear from anyone.

BMI is just an estimate, it doesn't take into consideration large muscle mass and measuring isn't perfect either as some people that are size 10 are much heavier and different shape to another size 10 lady.

You can be a healthy weight but not healthy, if you eat junk food all the time, you probably have quite a bit of fat around your organs.

You sound like you are bothered by the comments but not your actual weight. If you are maintaining a decent weight and it fluctuates a little but overall you are around the same, you sound okay. I'd be concerned if you kept dropping weight, which is when you should probably see a doctor and/or dietician about it.

I would advise just responding honestly and abruptly to people who comment that you aren't happy about, that way they should get the message and not comment again. If you giggle and brush it off, they may continue making jokes or comments.
Something like 'Well I wouldn't be so rude to comment on something like that' or 'What makes you feel that you have to comment on others appearance?' You aren't being rude or unkind, just making them aware of their behaviour and comments not being appropriate.

soontobe .. Being slim, as in a size 4, isn’t something to complement someone on. If she puts weight on or goes up to a size 10, how will she feel? Sorry, but size 4 isn’t a positive weight unless you’re very short - which of course she could be as you didn’t mention her height.

Sorry I didn’t see your rude post earlier ... being naturally very slim and small is actually ok you know. Being a size 4, or 6 or 8 or 10 is actually ok did you know. If your body is naturally this way, what would you like me to do to make dd a positive weight in your eyes? As has been established on this thread, people of the same height will vary in weight due to natural genetics, shape, bones etc.

Fyi my dd is 5’3, just over 7stone. She eats constantly, healthy food, crap food, big meals, chocolate, biscuits etc. She is just naturally very slim and petite. As are her brothers and sisters. Natural genetics have prevailed. Who knew 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄

I think you’ve misunderstood the ‘compliments’ (which I actually said were comments that we took as compliments)... her friends, family etc would COMMENT along the lines of ‘blimey you’re so slim in that dress’ .. ‘those jeans make you look so skinny’ etc NOT ‘you look great because you’re so slim’

Sorry, but size 4 isn’t a positive weight

Weird. I’m early 20s and people my age/younger can naturally be a size 4 without effort. Especially if they have small breasts.

Not everyone uses food as a coping mechanism - it’s not difficult for younger people to have a flat stomach and maintain it with zero effort. People that are young and healthy tend to have high enough metabolisms to eat what they want and stay slim - my body snaps back. Size 4 may be unattainable for you, but it doesn’t mean that the rest of us are unhealthy.

I have zero health conditions so my size clearly isn’t an issue in any form. If my GP isn’t remotely concerned about it, why are you? You’re misguided and misinformed - worry about yourself rather than others.

Thank you wings ... I think when much of the population are now overweight and obese, it’s difficult to understand (why I don’t know) that some people are still naturally slim! My dd is exactly this - small framed, petite, short I guess you’d say ... and just very very naturally slim.

Clearly weight/size is an emotive topic for most people! Moral of the story...don't comment on other peoples bodies. Thanks everyone for your comments. I feel healthy and that is all that matters. With having a chronic illness, that is my main goal. Going to ignore any future remarks from people about my size.

@Blindstupid how old is your DD? She sounds exactly the same size as mine, who is 23 and a year into her first "proper" job. Her size has been most recently commented on by a new colleague, who asked DD how old she was. The boss happened to be nearby and said "about 12" and laughed. Not a nasty laugh, but she didn't know how to respond and is concerned about not being taken seriously. She has a very healthy appetite, like your daughter, and it's "assumed" that being very small gives others some kind of right to comment, because it's a backhanded compliment - even when it isn't.

You sound fine. More to the point, the comments are very rude and a double standard. I wouldn't dream of exclaiming to a fat person how fat they are, but I'm 5ft 10 and a size 8 and people seem to think nothing of telling me how 'skinny' I am. It's not even accurate; I'm lanky rather than skinny. And I'm perfectly healthy, eat well and heartily, have energy and strength to exercise, etc.
You're well within your rights to give people a Paddington hard stare and say 'How rude' and let them squirm.

I get told this a lot too. I'm really not that thin. I am similar weight and measurements to you but taller. I am slim but carry some weight around my middle. I'm straight up and down and don't have much of a waist, or curves in general so I guess that makes me look smaller. I am small built and do have very thin arms and legs (especially wrists and ankles ) and a thin face so I guess that's what people notice. I do wish people wouldn't comment though. They seem to want me to tell them about my excessive diet and exercise regimen, neither of which exist.

I think it depends on how you carry the weight. I am 5’6 and weigh around 11stone which puts my BMI at just under 25, so on the very border between normal and overweight. However I sometimes get comments that I am skinny - I carry most of my weight on my lower half, I am a size 14 in trousers and a size 8/10 in tops, I have very small boobs and skinny arm whilst my thighs and calfs and bum are all big. I t

I’m 5 6, weigh 9 stone and about 21 on BMI scale. I have been slim all my life but still at 48 I get endless comments from friends that I’m too slim, don’t eat enough etc and if I say I’m staying off a particular food/drink (mainly because I have awful IBS) I always get a ‘Pffff, there’s absolutely no need for you to leave that food out look at you there’s nothing of you, you don’t have to worry about gaining weight’. Yet I would not dream of saying to my overweight friends that they should stay off certain foods/drinks etc, I don’t even mention their weight yet it’s perfectly acceptable for it to be said to me because I’m slim. It really pisses me off.

That sounds really annoying OP.

Sounds like comments are well meaning but I understand why they would irritate you.

I am 5ft3 and due to chronic illness between 37kg and 40kg, I get it all the time. Even getting a surgery the surgeon commented to the anaesthetist to give me child doses due to being "smaller than my primary school daughter"
I also work part time in a fast food restaurant around uni, the amount of "eat a burger" comments is a joke.
I just tend to ignore it now.

I sometimes get these comments too. I once went down to a fairly muscular, sporty size 8, down from a size 10 over the bourse of 6 months, and my employers actually invited me in for a concerned chat to see if the job was stressing me. It wasnt, but they clearly dudnt believe me and I put onto sligthyk easier duties. Everyone started being extra nice to me and I felt like a fraud. The more pointed out there was nothing wrong with me and it was a small, healthy weight loss over several months which warnt continuing, the less they believed me. I think I lost maybe just under a stone in total. Nearly everyone at that workplace was quite overweight or carrying extra pounds though.

hunting ... she’s 22. And yes absolutely totally get what you’re saying. Took her to a+e last year and they were about to book in through paediatric system ... receptionist nearly dropped when we said she’s 21 😆 .... I think it knocks dd’s confidence being so small, slim and young looking. Definitely understand backhanded compliments .. it’s taught us what NOT to comment (even innocently) to others, but that doesn’t help others commenting to dd.

I think it depends on your shape..

It sounds as though you’re slim but not too skinny but really it doesn’t matter. Just ignore..

I’m 5ft3 and am currently 51/52kg and I’m sometimes called tiny (I think that’s more to do with my height though) or slim but I’m definitely not what I’d call skinny..I fall into the normal weight range..

I think anyone commenting on your weight says more about them than it does about you.

I have lost a lot of weight since having my DD (probably 30kg in total) and my BMI is currently 27 (still a bit more to go) but I already have people commenting telling me to be careful not to lose too much weight!

I get this all most daily. Either - you have an eating disorder, or I’m starving myself, or (my number said) not to walk near a grate as I might fall through. I am skinny, always have been. Don’t know why people think they have a right to comment without me being hurt.

@Blindstupid

My eldest dd is very very slim, size 4, perfectly proportioned for her height etc. She gets comments all the time (including previously from us as her parents) about how slim she is, how lovely etc. However, unbeknown to us, she hated the comments, they made her equally self conscious as I guess larger people feel when their excess weight is mentioned. We saw it as a lovely compliment that she was so slim. As soon as she said how the slim comments made her feel we stopped immediately. It never crossed our minds that someone could feel awful and self conscious about a positive (or so I thought) thing. It’s made me realise and think twice before making a comment, albeit what I believe to be positive, to others.

I'm the same. Have always been slim/skinny. My problem is I'm quite tall too, so it's even more obvious. No idea why I'm like this. I eat normal food, snack on junk food a lot of the time, and love chocolate. Throughout my life I've always had people comment on it, and tbh I hate it. I'm really self conscious about it. People assume that it's ok to make comments, but you'd never go up to an overweight person and say Oh wow you're so fat, would you?! Anyhow, I'm rambling, but totally sympathise with your daughter

I'm 8st 10 and 5ft 8 and I am only ever told I'm 'thin', if I'm wearing something that accentuates my waist. My measurements are 34-24-34 and I honestly I think people with a waist difference of 5-10 from their bust or hips just 'looks' slimmer because of the way we carry our weight. You're a classic hourglass figure, embrace it and tell people to mind their own - I frequently do!

I have not RTWT but when younger, I'd get this all the time and it's rude.

Now I'm 50 and have to work to keep my stomach in check a bit and that's not suitable for people either.

Britney Spears had it right with the 'shes too fat now she's too thin' line.

I'm your height and at 9 stone I start to feel a bit 'podgy' I have a tiny frame and have always been petite and I don't think extra pounds suit me. I don't think 9 stone at our height is remotely 'skinny'
I'd be astounded if someone told me I was skinny at 9 stone but if my weight dips to 8 1/2 stone, my mum might say something!

@Reinventinganna it’s really tough isn’t it. My DH always tells me I look better now, but I don’t feel it at all! Peoples comments really screw with your head.

Those measurements and that weight are definitely not too thin. They are above the midrange of healthy BMI but well within it. Just ignore the comments.