Not a stealth brag... Tips on raising an exceptionally beautiful child.

[Trytrytryasimight]

I know. I'm cringing at the thread title too.

I'm absolutely average, so is her dad. She happens to have an aunt who is an outlier in their family that looks like Claudia schiffer, and seems to have inherited all of her looks from her.

She's all rosy cheeks enormous green eyes and a mass of curly blond hair that never seems disheveled. She chooses her own clothes, keeps them nicely and puts them together so she looks fabulous every time. She is that child and this is through no effort of my own - I was more of an awkward indie kid through my tweens and teens. I can see other girls want to be her friend cause she's fun and kind but then look decidedly jeolous and irritated at dds clothes, hair, general oh wow look I'm so perfect and yet so pretty unspoken general vibe.
She's 12 and we've noticed teachers, club leaders, family members do seem to give her some kind of preferential treatment and I think it's becuase she is very compliant to adults and also very pretty she is.she is also genuinely good hearted and we've never had any reason to think she is unkind to others.
I want to guide her as best I can, as having an opposite experience of my looks growing up and generally being fairly invisible, I don't really know what you to help someone not place too much worth in their looks while acknowledging it's a lovely thing to be beautiful. Any advice on how to raise a particularly good looking child??

My god daughter looks how you've described your daughter. Drop dead gorgeous since the day she was born to now (30 years old). Her parents were loving and grounded and she has grown up into a fantastic adult. Still utterly gorgeous looking and kind, gracious, intelligent etc. Her looks haven't been a help or a hindrance as far as I can see. She's met great men and crap men, got opportunities workwise/been denied opportunities. Her looks really haven't made that much difference - if any difference at all.

Honestly, all the 'exceptionally beautiful' MN daughters. I don't doubt for a moment that they are attractive young women. However to be exceptionally beautiful though is extremely rare...so rare that at the age of 50 I have yet to see someone I can describe as such. When I think about my own daughter who has high cheekbones, even features , a chiselled jawline and big blue eyes I can see that she is likely to be a very attracted woman (I don't have any of these features and neither does her dad btw so its a mystery ). I highly doubt she will be 'exceptionally beautiful' though. She has certainly been described by other parents are being very pretty.

My advice:

1. Get your daughter to accept how beautiful she is. Sometimes I think beauty is wasted on the beautiful because they lack the confidence to believe in themselves.

2. Be mindful that because she is beautiful, people probably encourage her to be passive and a 'good girl'. Encourage her to find her own voice and the confidence to use it.

If it helps I am probably a mid-range beauty but I always think my stock is greatly increased by the fact that I like how I look. I have struggled much more with my inner stuff and that's caused no end of problems.

I also think iconic beauty is a rather strange phenomenon. It's often the 'imperfections' that make an icon ...the gap in Brigitte Bardot's teeth, Marilyn Monroe's heart shaped face (for which she was called a 'chinless wonder' by studio execs) Cara Delevigne's thick eyebrows, Kate Moss and her ability to look accessible and yet beautiful at the same time, Ricki Hall for his beard and tats and wiry frame. Its having unusual features that make you more than blandly averagely attractive/ pretty it gives the person a totally original look. This is probably why I have yet to see an 'exceptionally beautiful' person in real life.

I was a properly ugly/awkward child, still got sexually abused crazily enough

Of course it's rare but people on this thread seem to not be able to even acknowledge the possibility that the OP's daughter is very beautiful! Don't even get me started on the way they are all sure she will end up as an unattractive adult.

Well tbf it's actually quite unusual to be a beautiful child & remain as beautiful in adult.
Look at all the handsome men threads on here, some of the choices are 😵 but then I think Tom Hardy is beautiful & plenty dont see it.

Sorry to hear that peace and love.

I find all the posts agreeing that special steps need to be taken re self defence, personal boundaries, etc., really troubling. It suggests that the level of attention the average young girl or woman gets is manageable by comparison, or less concerning, and I think is inaccurate. Pretty much all women get harassed by men (good article by Hadley Freeman on this at the weekend) and there’s something rather uncomfortable to me about saying that an especially attractive one needs self-defence classes. You either think women need this or they don’t. Full stop.

I also think more average women can be at elevated risk in some circumstances. I became aware while at school of the phenomenon that is relatively plain girls becoming involved with older weirdos. The kind of girl who wasn’t confident with boys her own age was like a magnet to a certain type of man who preyed on it.

And the only time I’ve ever been out with a woman who genuinely got stares and comments constantly was a friend of a friend who was the very opposite of conventionally attractive. The night out I spent with her was an eye-opener - a barrage of cruel, mocking and very sexual comments all night long. Never known attention like that with beautiful women, and I’ve definitely known some. Says a lot about our society.

Tome Hardy has got better looking as he has got older and a lot of it is to do with highly expressive eyes. His features are quite strange for a man..pouty lips etc. He is quite quirky.

Tom

@bbbbbbbbbccccc agree you almost need a edge. I did some modelling (tall, skinny & photogenic as opposed to exceptionally beautiful) & like I said exceptionally beautiful people are rare. I often got called generic, bland, catalogue (that was bad), modelling is not for the insecure!

Surely schoolgirls are targeted simply because they are schoolgirls? 🤢

It's all subjective. Many people will find many people far more attractive than your dd, don't worry.

Bless you Smigg. I bet you are a very attractive woman but its such a strange phenomenon to be exceptionally iconically beautiful. And really I doubt many of us have met such a creature.

What most of us are describing are very attractive conventionally pretty people. Not exceptions to that rule.

@bbbbbbbbbccccc thank you.
Please don't only teach your daughters to look after themselves and be wary if they're 'exceptionally beautiful'. Predators don't care

People are being completely disingenuous if they don’t think attractive women come in for more attention from men.

There are two issues at play here.

Predatory men prey on vulnerable women.

All women come in for attention from men, but attractive women come in for more. To deny this is a nonsense, because we all know full well just how much emphasis is placed on looks in our society.

I’m also absolutely amazed at the number of posters convinced the OP’s DD will lose her looks as she gets older. It’s much more likely that she won’t.

And Sophie Ellis-Bexter?! Is she supposed to be an example of someone ALL PEOPLE consider to be the pinnacle of beauty?

How absolutely random and bizarre that someone thinks such a person exists.

They don’t.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so to me, and I imagine many others, SE-B is just another attractive celeb, in a loooong line of attractive celebrities.

bit fat now, it's also true that generally you can't eat like a horse & stay skinny as you age 🤣

Don't teach her she is a beautiful object (you're so beautiful, princess language). Teach her how to be strong, not perfect. Praise her skills. Notice when she is kind. Encourage her to have a voice. Show her how to enforce her own boundaries, even if the price you pay is her compliance to you:- one day those boundaries may see her send someone packing with whom compliance is dangerous. Compliment her but don't be awestruck by her looks, but be awestruck by her and her awesomeness as a person. Encourage her to grow as a person. Notice her skills and talents and encourage her in them. Teach her how to grow.

I also think men's idea of attractiveness tends to be a bit different to women.

@Hastybird

Don't teach her she is a beautiful object (you're so beautiful, princess language). Teach her how to be strong, not perfect. Praise her skills. Notice when she is kind. Encourage her to have a voice. Show her how to enforce her own boundaries, even if the price you pay is her compliance to you:- one day those boundaries may see her send someone packing with whom compliance is dangerous. Compliment her but don't be awestruck by her looks, but be awestruck by her and her awesomeness as a person. Encourage her to grow as a person. Notice her skills and talents and encourage her in them. Teach her how to grow.

Yes yes. Well said. We should do this with all of our daughters.

Ensure you prepare exceptionally beautiful food, and have an exceptionally beautiful house.

Now obviously you have stated that you are no oil painting, so you need to work on your own lack of beauty, or people will think you are not related to the exceptionally beautiful child.

Make changes, radical changes to your clothes, voice, hair, skin, nails, and really your entire being- focus on becoming exceptionally beautiful.

There are wigs, and plastic surgery, never despair!

‘Exceptionally’ is a high bar

Maybe the dc is or not. Hard to know as it’s also relative to op and how they feel about themselves.

I want to see the aunt 😄 She sounds like a lovely girl OP, maybe work on her not being compliant for compliance sake.

My DS is a very handsome boy and people remark on it to him and he’s just