I’m feeling broody at 23
broodyat23 · 28/03/2021 17:57
Am I being unreasonable for feeling broody at 23 years of age?
For the past few months, I’ve been feeling what can only be described as achingly broody. I’ve been dreaming about having babies, I’m weepy whenever I see families out and about together, my heart even aches when I hear a baby or a small child cry at the supermarket... am crazy to be feeling this way?
Let me be clear that I don’t want to have kids just yet - although I definitely want them someday. I’m still single, living on my own in a nice apartment and I’ve finally settled into my career with a permanent job and saving for a house. But I can’t ignore the indescribable longing to have babies.
I know it’ll happen when the time is right, but I feel like I’m losing my mind when I feel the sudden pang of emptiness when I see a Mum or a Dad with their child.
Anyhow rant over - I just needed to vent that somewhere!
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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Strokethefurrywall · 28/03/2021 18:09
I felt broody at 23, massively so. Thank fuck I didn't have them at that age though!
I waited until I was early 30s and had done the things I wanted to do like traveling, establishing my career, had my freedom etc.
I was then ready at 31 because I knew I wouldn't regret tying myself to the responsibility of a family then as I was married.
Even if I'd not met anyone, I would have waited until I was older and done it alone.
Kittykat93 · 28/03/2021 18:19
Why are you crying at seeing families together? It's one thing being broody but your emotions around this seem a bit extreme. I will say this..I felt so broody from about 16, always wanted a baby. When I eventually had a baby at 25, it wasnt what I expected and was so so much harder. I regret not enjoying my pre child life more. I havent had a night out in years, dont even get to just sit and read a book at the weekend, cant eat a meal in peace, cant sit at the pub on a friday night. It's also very emotionally draining.
ScarfaceCwaw · 28/03/2021 18:26
If you don't intend to act on it, try and remember that it's only hormones. It's not fate or some kind of sign or the only thing that can make you happy. It's just your genes fucking with your hormones so they can try and replicate themselves. Following your hormones can be fun, but doing it all the time rarely leads to a sensible, sorted life
Can you find something else in your life you're excited about? Building your career, studying, a hobby, a pet? I always found that I felt more inclined to babies when the rest of my life wasn't fulfilling or stimulating me as much as it could.
broodyat23 · 28/03/2021 18:31
I should point out when I say weepy I’m not breaking down crying or anything, I’m just a tad emotional in a “awww that’s so cute” way. And I’m not naive to the practicalities of being a parent either - I’m the oldest of 7 kids and I’ve seen my parents do the sleepless nights, not being able to go out, not having as much financial flexibility.
I don’t necessarily want children right now at the particular moment in time - I have a lot of time yet still. But I’m acknowledging that my body is going bananas with the broodiness!
broodyat23 · 28/03/2021 18:37
Congrats on your recent new addition ❤️ I think on the one hand, the stability that I’m seeing in my life (I’ve got a degree, a full time dream job and a nice place to live) is making me think about what I’m feeling more with the broodiness etc. But also know that I’d like to be in a committed relationship if that’s what on the cards and spend a bit more time “doing my 20’s”!
seensome · 28/03/2021 18:39
That's probably why, if you have a good relationship with your family and younger family members, you want to recreate that, also biologically your body wants to reproduce, it's normal. I had my first at 22 no regrets, I'm now 40 and still get broody annoyingly I miss having a baby but not all the practicalities that come with it.
Angrymum22 · 28/03/2021 18:42
Set your alarm to go off every three hours this evening. Every time it goes off during the night get up make a cup of tea and walk round the house for 40mins. Repeat this every day for a week and then reassess your broodyness. By the end of the week You will get a feel for what the rest of your twenties will be like.
Also withdraw £100 from your account everyday and immediately burn it.
Honestly, motherhood is fantastic but just feeling broody is not a sound reason for having a child.
Enjoy your twenties, I got to my thirties before we decided to start a family, by then we had slowed down socially. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that you can enjoy your life when kids leave home and your still young, it’s age not children that slows you down.
Bluntness100 · 28/03/2021 18:43
Honestly my daughter is 23 and I’d be very disturbed if she wrote your post. She’s focused on her career as a lawyer and saving for a house and, yup, in non Covid times, having fun. Crying at the sight of babies would worry me at such a young age.
What else have you got going on? You’re really young to be feeling like this. Kids take a solid relationship, money, a stable home. They are a huge amount of responsibility. I’d be worried you were not fulfilled in your life to be reacting like this.
Kids are wonderful. But they are not the be all and end all. Not at your age.
Trinacham · 28/03/2021 18:50
YANBU. I was thinking about babies very young too. But here I am, happily married and financially stable, still without them (been with partner for 11 years so the opportunity has been there!) We are thinking about trying in the next few months. No regrets waiting until now (I'm 30) as we would have not had the fun time together alone first, and it will be nice to not worry about only buying cheap or second hand baby things now we are more comfortable with money, and I can even be a SAHM for a while
Xenia · 28/03/2021 18:51
I planned it as at 14 wanted babies so I went to unviersity a year early at 17 as was a year young at school, graduated in law at 20, did post grad year, got married at 21 and started first law job, bought first home aged 22 with husband, first baby 13 months after we married when I was 22, carried on full time work (took 2 weeks off for each baby) baby no. 2 aged 24 and no 3 aged 26 etc. We have 5 lovely children. I have a lovely career. It worked out fine.
80sMum · 28/03/2021 19:07
Set your alarm to go off every three hours this evening. Every time it goes off during the night get up make a cup of tea and walk round the house for 40mins. Repeat this every day for a week and then reassess your broodyness. By the end of the week You will get a feel for what the rest of your twenties will be like
^^ I would add to that the following:
You need 3 alarm clocks. One to go off every 3 hours during the evening and overnight (eg 8.30, 11.30, 2.30, 5.30), one every 4.75 hours (eg 10.15 & 3.00) and the other to wake you up at your usual getting up time of 6.30!
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