I’m feeling broody at 23

[broodyat23]

Am I being unreasonable for feeling broody at 23 years of age?

For the past few months, I’ve been feeling what can only be described as achingly broody. I’ve been dreaming about having babies, I’m weepy whenever I see families out and about together, my heart even aches when I hear a baby or a small child cry at the supermarket... am crazy to be feeling this way?

Let me be clear that I don’t want to have kids just yet - although I definitely want them someday. I’m still single, living on my own in a nice apartment and I’ve finally settled into my career with a permanent job and saving for a house. But I can’t ignore the indescribable longing to have babies.

I know it’ll happen when the time is right, but I feel like I’m losing my mind when I feel the sudden pang of emptiness when I see a Mum or a Dad with their child.

Anyhow rant over - I just needed to vent that somewhere!

Haven't read the whole thread but I felt just like you at 23.

So I got married. Had 2 ectopic, had one DC by IVF and the marriage had ended before I hit 30.

It's was horrible, really and I wouldnt recommend acting on your broody feelings. Your 20s have so much potential for fun, growth and getting yourself to a wonderful place.

I'm now im my 30s and trying to get my life together and find something to study. All my friends got jobs, houses, careers and only recently started thier families. It much harder at an older age doing it backwards as there's less support.

My advice is to go, achieve everything you want and try not to feed the broodiness!

You sound like you know what you're doing and don't need any advice.

I had a child at your age and i'm very glad I did. I already had health issues and had done as much as I could with travelling and work at that time, so staying home with a baby was perfect for me. I thought i'd be able to go back to work or travel as a family once DC were school age. Turned out i'd have to be a full time carer to my disabled DC.

Now i'm in my 30s and just as broody, DC finally getting close to being independent enough for me to care for another baby too. I've developed arthritis and need surgeries and now don't know if i'll be able to have anymore children. I'm exhausted and don't know how i'd cope if I had another child that woke up 8x a night till age 3, it might finish me off. All that to say, i'm so incredibly grateful I had a baby in my early 20s, I had the ability to cope with the struggles it came with. You never know how life will turn out, if i'd waiting till my 30s then I probably wouldn't have been able to have children.

"On the other hand you have loads of women over on the conception and pregnancy boards who are worrying they have left it too late in trying to conceive."

I believe the term I also used was worrying, not struggling to conceive in your 30's. @Onairjunkie

I appreciate your response @abeanbaked but I wasn’t actually referring to your post specifically, more an amalgamation of posts about having children young. And while it works for you, it wouldn’t have worked for me. I wanted to do all the fun things like travelling without a child in tow. I wouldn’t have wanted the responsibility at that young age.

I’m also standing by the teen ‘rush’ because if you’re fresh out of university, heading straight into motherhood does seem like ‘rushing’ between life stages to me.

But again, this is only my opinion and you have yours.

Term. Not teen.

@ButIcantsitonleather I appreciate your opinion and you are entitled to it, it's just not very fair to make generalisations and assumptions about how well established someone's career is and if they have rushed into things or not when all you really know about them is a what you see on a post on MN.

And saying you wouldn't judge someone for doing what I have but going on to say

How established can a career be by 21-24? Not very I wouldn’t have thought.

is a judgement you have made.

I think this is fairly normal. I got broody around the same age but I didn't have my daughter until I was 27 and tbh I wish I'd waited until I was about 30. Never a perfect time for a baby though I suppose!

@abeanbaked

And saying you wouldn't judge someone for doing what I have but going on to say

How established can a career be by 21-24? Not very I wouldn’t have thought.

is a judgement you have made.

Yes. And one I’m entitled to, no?

My career was not established at 21-24, fresh out of my postgrad.

I wouldn’t judge someone for having a child, but I am allowed an opinion that at the age of 21-24, I don’t think a career would be very established.

I’m not attacking anyone for their choices, nor am I judging them for them, just saying it wouldn’t be for me.

Please don’t take my opinion so personally.

It's your hormones, it'll pass then probably kick in again early 30s 😂♥️

@ButIcantsitonleather it is okay to say you would judge someone for it though, but don't contradict yourself. Saying you wouldn't judge someone and going on to do exactly that, make a judgement, is contradicting yourself.

[quote abeanbaked]@ButIcantsitonleather it is okay to say you would judge someone for it though, but don't contradict yourself. Saying you wouldn't judge someone and going on to do exactly that, make a judgement, is contradicting yourself. [/quote]
Oh crikey. Really?

I had an opinion that I didn’t think that a career could be established by the age of 21-24. That is my opinion. That isn’t a judgement. I’ll say it again, an opinion. Mine.

What I said I wouldn’t judge people for is having a child young. Which I don’t. And haven’t. And wouldn’t. (My sister did).

You’re conflating two separate points I made and getting confused. And for some reason taking it personally.

I was always massively broody from about the age of 14 and wanted a baby as soon as I could. I had my first at 20 and the broodiness didn't go away till I had my fourth baby at 29 and knew I was done.

Not unreasonable at all, but please I hope it does not cloud your judgment and filter in the choice of whom to have a child with, whenever that happens.