To have told DH that he embarrasses me?

[Mooni]

I have windows open all the time as I need fresh air. We live in a very quiet area, detached house on shared private drive attached to a quiet street so we don’t even get traffic noise. We have a walking path down the side of our house popular with dog walkers etc
DH can’t seem to keep from shouting constantly. You can hear everything from outside and I’m so embarrassed by it.
Examples from this weekend alone:
From bedroom to downstairs “Moonie, Chuck us a bog roll up!” (Bedroom windows wide open)
Kitchen to living room “Racist!” (Kitchen window wide open)
Living room to kitchen “this house smells like a cross between wet dog and BO!” (Patio doors wide open)
Downstairs toilet to kitchen “Moonie have you had diarrhoea?! It stinks in here!” (Window wide open, neighbours behind us sat in garden).

I have asked him to stop shouting all the time and he has said I’m being unreasonable to be embarrassed by him and acting like a snob pretending to be something I’m not. I’m not normally bothered by what people think of me but I think this makes us look rough as hell! No kids at home now, just me and DH
Am I over thinking it?

And quite frankly, I’m amazed that house that gets so much fresh air seems to smell so bad.

I know a couple who is room temperature incomparable.
They found middle ground temperature. 1 is basically just walking around in shorts and a very light top, second one is normally dressed with comfy warm jumper on top and warm socks (but not ott). So both are inconvenienced equally 😁
It's really funny to sit with them when one looks like if they were on a beach in July in Spain and the other like if they were on a beach by Iverness in December 😂
But it works. They both compromised well.

@Nuitsdesetoiles there’s no minimum (or maximum) workplace temperature in law. If you’re moving around it’s not cold. It’s 17c in my house right now and I’m in leggings and a t-shirt. 14c in the bathroom and I will still strip off for a shower later without any of my extremities falling off

No he was calling me a racist for saying I had to do something about my pale skin 🙄 he was joking obviously but to anyone listening there would have been no context

So were you telling him about your pale skin from the living room to the kitchen? 🤔

So what if random old you finds 14 degrees a perfectly acceptable temperature?

It’s too cold for most people - and just like the OP NEEDS fresh air and the windows open to be comfortable, her DH clearly needs it to be warmer than 14 degrees.

[quote PattyPan]@Nuitsdesetoiles there’s no minimum (or maximum) workplace temperature in law. If you’re moving around it’s not cold. It’s 17c in my house right now and I’m in leggings and a t-shirt. 14c in the bathroom and I will still strip off for a shower later without any of my extremities falling off [/quote]
Would you sit there for an hour though? Without that hot water?

17 is doable, I prefer 18, but 14 at home where you chill is just.. Too chilli😁

[quote PattyPan]@Nuitsdesetoiles there’s no minimum (or maximum) workplace temperature in law. If you’re moving around it’s not cold. It’s 17c in my house right now and I’m in leggings and a t-shirt. 14c in the bathroom and I will still strip off for a shower later without any of my extremities falling off [/quote]
Well whenever it's dipped below 16c in any workplace I've been at due to heating issues we've been sent home. I would quite literally be blue with cold in a 17c house moving around or not. What happens when you want to sit down for any length of time?

@SchrodingersImmigrant

He is in his own home. If you cannot relax and open your mouth without worrying in your own home, that's sad.

This. I can't imagine not being able to be myself in my own house!

I think you are being unreasonable both wanting to dictate the open windows and how loud your dh can talk within your own four walls. Only because of your open windows.

There must be some common ground to be found here? One room with open windows? or dh gets to talk in his volume since you impose the open windows policy?

Or simply move, middle of a field would do the trick .

Why are you so hot without the windows open at all times? Are you very overweight?

Perhaps you should shut some of the windows and get some fans.

YANBU. Embarrassing as hell.

@Nuitsdesetoiles I’ve actually been sat down for a while doing some filing and I’m fine! If you would be blue with cold in 17c, which is above the mean August temperature according to the Met Office, it sounds like you have some pretty serious circulation issues to be honest, which OP hasn’t said is the case for her DH.

@SchrodingersImmigrant probably not but the WiFi doesn’t reach that far

Does he need his hearing checked?

@PattyPan understable😂

@PattyPan

During working hours the temperature in all indoor workplaces must be reasonable. There’s no law for minimum or maximum working temperatures, eg when it’s too cold or too hot to work. However, guidance suggests a minimum of 16ºC or 13ºC if employees are doing physical work.

Employers must stick to health and safety at work law, including: keeping the temperature at a comfortable level

I.e. temperatures are guidelines but having a place at a comfortable temperature is a must -mandatory. www.gov.uk/workplace-temperatures

Having said that, that is a separate discussion to the one OP is raising. If he doesn't like the temperature, he could say something about that and arrange some compromise if possible.

It dosn't mean that he has a licence to shame the OP and go on about stuff that a lot of people would find humiliating and not ok, regardless of whether there's an audience (which would make it worse, though.)

If you would be blue with cold in 17c, which is above the mean August temperature according to the Met Office, it sounds like you have some pretty serious circulation issues to be honest

Or maybe you just have more padding than other people? I certainly don’t have any circulation issues, I just feel the cold.

In any case, so what?! Because you find the temperature acceptable at X degrees, everyone should?

@23PissOffAvenueWF there’s feeling the cold, and there’s turning blue on an average summer’s day. Which is not normal! The point was that the OP and her DH need to find a middle temperature. People should expect to need to wear a jumper indoors during the colder part of the year but there’s not really much OP can do about being hot - there’s only so much clothing she can take off.

@23PissOffAvenueWF

If you would be blue with cold in 17c, which is above the mean August temperature according to the Met Office, it sounds like you have some pretty serious circulation issues to be honest

Or maybe you just have more padding than other people? I certainly don’t have any circulation issues, I just feel the cold.

In any case, so what?! Because you find the temperature acceptable at X degrees, everyone should?

Fairly typical of the fresh air fanaticists I've worked with who insist on windows being open even though people in the office are shivering. Or in yoga classes when someone would insist on a door/window being open to suit their temperature not taking into account some people can get really cold. It's not a good idea to do yoga in a cold room anyway.

I do have Reynauds syndrome particularly badly in my hands, which will go white and blue very quickly. I wear gloves a lot of the time but don't see why I should wear them indoors. And yes I'm so slim not much "meat on my bones" so feel the cold more. If you're moving about fair enough but much under 17c is too cold to be sitting for long periods.

I love cold and it has to be well below zero for me to zip the coat. BUT! That's when I am moving. If you are just sitting and chilling 14 gets cold. Unless you are sitting on a sun. Or you are drunk in a park or something.
But for just sitting and relaxing even me, the cold lover who freaks people out with it, says no to below 18🙈

Reminded me of this gem😂

I think YABU. Christ, anyone who puts up with constantly open windows and doors needs a ruddy medal not whinging about.

It’s amazing how many mumsnetters get the heebie jeebies about toilet humour too.

It's gonna be 20c on Tuesday... guaranteed the park near me will be flip-flops and tops off for the men!

Farts. Are. Funny 😁

@Mooni

We’re in East Yorkshire, upstairs windows open all the time, downstairs ones just during the day and when we’re home. DH says it’s freezing and walks around in thick jumpers but I hate being hot

Well as long as you're ok